The opposite side speaks

You know, each time after "exploding" negative thoughts in here, I actually do feel guilty and bad. I mean, who on earth would do/say/type such things about her loved ones?

Well yes, I still love that person who hurt me but I can't deny that I was really very angry yesterday. Anyway, maybe this is one of the many reasons why I am still blogging here. This is the only place where I could let go off all the anger.....

And the good thing is, I have managed to practice leaving all my frustrations and anger here before logging out. So, who said I need to attend anger management class?

Clueless shit that sticks to you

The first thing you feel or think when you reach home should be... "AhHh....home sweet home, I am finally back!"

...but when you really reach home, and all you hear is blah, blah and blah....where somebody is nagging non-stop, and specifically spewing questions similar to that of a trash, you will think of the opposite. "I shouldn't have come back so early!"

I mean, what's the point of going home early when all one has to face is pointless arguments? And, it all comes back to the same conclusion. You can do anything you want all the time, but from your point of view, I can't. (I sometimes feel like a prisoner, seriously!) You can work till forever and come home late, but I must listen to everything you say, even bullshits and I must be back early no matter how. Your work is work, your career is your life, your everything, the main priority in your life, but you always think that my work is made of a pile of shit and I should have dumped everything behind! The worse is, your hard earned money is real money, possibly made of gold! ...but mine is made of rocks! ...it has no value to you at all even though I do pay for my own bills!

You know, it's been really tiring! Until today, I still don't understand a lot of things. I've tried to let all these stupid thoughts go but each time you start to make hurtful comments or whatsoever, it hurts so much that I've become numb to it. When you neglect your actual priorities just for the sake of your so-called important job, outside activities and bitchy friends, I have never complained of anything. And now you're making a big fuss just because I have my own life, lots of work and I am much happier outside? Hahahaa....you're such a self-centered person!

There's another thing that bothers me all this while. You would rather glue your eyes to the idiot box or the bloody newspaper, than to look at me and listen to the things I say....but I keep you informed about my things too anyway. But, you were never interested and have never taken any initiative to keep any records of the things I told you. Oh I forgot! You're always and forever interested in the other person's things only!

You know, I really can't help thinking this way and this thought has been around for a long time .... If I'm much happier outside, shouldn't I be independent enough to feed myself outside, somewhere out there, anywhere??

Lost and found...and back on track again

Some time ago, I got lost in the middle of nowhere...and after taking a break and strolling around for a while, I'm glad to announce that I have found back the trails and I am finally back on track again. :)

Having worked for almost half a year now, I realized how much time I've spent in the office and that I've lost most of my passion...or maybe I should say, everything just went rusty. I was still unaware that I was already stuck in the rat race or typically the vicious cycle of a workaholic, until the time when Dear shared about his interests. Well, much to my surprise, we share lots of things in common, which is one of the few reasons why he appeared different from the rest (Hehehe...I just had to mention this! Anyway, thanks Dear, really appreciate it!).

So, from the long conversations on our interests, I guess I have indirectly ignited what I've always wanted to do again. The passion is back.... Will keep you updated should there be any progress on the things I plan to do.

Anyway, here I come again with my famous quote of "What is life without dreams?" Honestly speaking, think of these questions.... Is it really worth it to rely on your day job alone? How can you survive if something bad happens to you? Are you going to slog at work, at this current job for the rest of your life? What do you really like? Do you love what you're currently doing now? How much are you willing to lose or compensate just to spend so much time in the office to get a decent pay each month?

Erm, I might have asked too many questions but you get the drift. I wouldn't tell you my answers but I hope I could sustain the current enthusiasm to go after what I really want to do....

:)

Invest in yourself

I've been busy lately, but that can't stop me from starting my passion on books again. Anyway, just thought of sharing something I read in the book with you today.

"Change is scary. It takes courage, and often arouses conflicts with the ones we love. That's probably why so many folks stay in the ruts they've dug, unhappily spending a good portion of their days wishing they could get out, but not being able to do anything constructive to make it happen."

"Getting from where you are today to where you'd like to be is rarely a goal that can be achieved instantly."

"To get what you want in life, you first have to make room. And that means letting go of the things you don't want, even though you may have invested a lot of time and money in them along the way. While this is often difficult, the benefits will make it well worth the effort."

When the wind blows...

It's been a while since I last blogged. Well, I have lots of things to bitch about here but the problem is, I've been too busy lately. Anyway, just a short update on what I'm up to and everything around me.

1) I've officially completed my industrial training. Yay. No more report to write.
2) My boss loaded me with big projects recently and I've to handle two important customers. That tells you why I work till so late each day.
3) My company's executive chairman /founder/MD notices my existence after I started handling those two customers. This sounds a bit dangerous. He knows my name! I might be getting more work, or worse...be in a hot soup easily if shit happens to my projects.
4) I had a surprise last week. There's a hand to hold from now on. :)

5) I'm starting my reading habit again....lots of books to read actually.
6) My hp "died". So I bought a new one and it burned a hole in my pocket! *Ouch*
7) Hmmm...what else? *Yawn* Tired already. Maybe it's time to sleep. Will blog on other days.

Ciao.