Human nature

It's almost two months since my last post. Well, here's a short update on what's going on.

I've started a new career path in end of February and I have moved. I am no longer staying on an island. So far, everything seems ok but I know I have lots of things to learn at work and will be very busy real soon.

Apart from that, there's nothing much to talk about. Life seems to be pretty normal or you can say, boring.

...oh maybe just something to share...some thinking for you to do...

When one gets comfortable and feels stable with something (can be anything, your job, your house, your dog, your partner, etc.), is it normal to take things for granted? Then, you pay less attention to that something and life seems very plain (or dull!) and the importance level becomes lower and lower....sigh....human nature?

Mooo-ing into a new chapter

See?? I told you time flies and it's been a month plus since I last blogged. Heh!

Oh anyway, my apologies for having MIA for so long. You know...I've been busy. But then again, I hope it's not too late to wish you a belated Merry X'mas 2008, Happy 2009 and a Happy and Prosperous Moo Year.

Another thing that I forgot to mention, I got a call the other day and I went for an interview. Just a few days before CNY, I got a call from them again. Hehehehe...I'm hired! :P

So, I hereby declare that 2009 IS going to be the starting point for my career path to change and I mean it. It's heading towards where I want it to be and it's happening already....If you don't get anything I say here, oh for goodness' sake, please go read up a book. I don't know what sort of power the book has but it does bring lots of strength ever since I finished reading the book (and applying/practising its concepts). It is The Secret to a life of abundance. Do yourself a favour and go read it up. :)

What has happened and What is going on...

It's almost two months. I thought I won't be blogging anytime soon (which means that I have nothing bothering me...), but then again...lots of things are clogging my brain until I could hardly breathe, at times. Here's a short update on what has happened and what is going on.

What has happened

November - I took a week's break and went on holiday with my family. We went to HK, Macau and certain areas of Guangdong Province in China. Everything was great, especially the part when I totally forgot what day and date it was while touring around those places.

I attended two job interviews, so far. Hopefully, there's more coming. I know economy is bad but please see below for further understanding.


What is going on

Current job - it sucks. I know I am complaining again. Initially, I thought there's something wrong with me since I keep complaining about my job. I thought it could be some kinda attitude problem or phobia with the work place....but I was wrong. Everyone is complaining about it. Everything you can think of about the company is wrong. See below for the list of wrong things!

No SOP - if A is reviewing the report, follow A's style. If B is reviewing the report, follow B's style. If Bodoh is reviewing your report, follow Bodoh's style. And each report has to go through 3 rounds of reviews by 3 different reviewers, which mean that I MUST change my report for at least 3 times before a report is sent to the client. Stupid right? NO standardization at all. Next time who to follow?? I will follow my own style. -.-

No OT claims BUT they want you to do everything in a short period of time (Pao Sua Pao Hai Pao Ka Liao). Sometimes, we even need to bring work back to do, but they say... "you have no initiative. You must work harder".... HOW? Do until die?

No quarterly bonus. I understand that the current economy situation is bad...but the bonus that I'm talking about is on a quarterly basis. When they hired me and my other colleagues, they have promised us on the quarterly bonus - but there's none at all. Even for the past quarter when we actually HAD lots of business and they had promised us that there WILL BE bonus but in the end, the management just gave us a stupid excuse. "We actually don't know whether there will be bonus or not" Top management but can't give a certain answer? Mana bonus?

Punctuality. If I'm late for an hour or so, I can understand if the management were to ask for explanation. But, they will always ask at the wrong time. "I noticed that you were late for 2 minutes on 5th, please explain" TWO minutes....

Communication. To be honest, each time when I enter the office, it feels like entering a cemetery while the other zombies and robots who are glued to the screen are tombstones. They hardly move. They don't talk. We are not allowed to talk. We can only communicate via Skype. And when I really talk to my colleague, I must whisper. If the management see me walking to my colleague's place, it means that I have no tasks to do and I am very free. That has resulted in yours truly becoming very talkative once I leave office. I talk non-stop when the bf calls. I can't stop talking the moment I enter my house. I never stop talking each time I go out for lunch.

Leave system. The definition of leave is one is away from office to tend to his or her personal matters. And that obviously shows that the person is unable to complete her task on that day itself. Unfortunately, the company (or maybe just the manager) has problem in understanding the term "leave". When I was on leave for a week in November, that fcuker had allocated a case (means I will need to do a report for that case) to me. Each case normally has a turn around time of 2 weeks but the due date of the case was a day after I come back from my vacation. Isn't that stupid? How can I complete the whole big report (research, analysis and compilation) in just two days' time when I actually need at least 2 weeks to do? Now that shows you one thing. There is no relevance in applying leave. Afterall, I will still be getting work. Why still need to apply leave?

Discrimination. The company prefers people of darker skin, particularly those with something sticking out from the groin area. They don't like and will discriminate people with "holes" and also those of fairer skin. If you're a lady and you have fair skin, sorry but the management (particularly the VP) won't listen or talk to you. Move aside.

Career progression. No chance at all coz after this level, you can never go anywhere. You are stuck at where you are forever, so long as you are still attached to the company.

Turnover rate. Very high. That tells you why I am actively searching for a job elsewhere even though deep down in my heart, I knew that it's going to be difficult due to the economy crisis.

There are more things to talk about the company....but right at this moment, I could really feel my blood pressure rising. I'll keep you posted on other things about this company coz innocent fresh graduates should NOT be fooled by such company. I entered the company with job experience...but it feels like everything (my job experience, educational background, other skills, etc) is put to waste!

Job applications - My previous and current job have really given me a wake-up call to my future. I thought it over and over again and I am still thinking. Which is the right one? Choose the type of jobs in the industry you're interested in OR any type of jobs that can feed you at the end of the month (even though you may not have the interest)? Even though the question is vital, I guess I'm not given the luxury to choose also since the economy is going downwards. Previously, I got scared of the industry I was in and thought I won't be going back to it. But now, it's ironic. I actually feel and want to be back to where I actually belong. Will there be a chance? Times are bad but I am not giving up!

Thoughts of the future - I was on Facebook a moment ago. I saw a few familiar names on the People You May Know function. Again, I saw ex-schoolmates (some not so close) who are doing well in their career. Some in other countries. People have gone so far and achieved so much, what have I done to myself thus far?? I know I have mentioned this umpteen times and I know I shouldn't be comparing but I can't help thinking, why people can do it and I can't? (Of coz the comparison cannot be based on the fact that they were born with a silver spoon in the mouth and I'm just a very normal average one....but, that could be the factor...)

The New Year (2009) - This year is coming to an end. I haven't done anything much this year. But, I have lots of things set as my resolution for the new year. I am determined to achieve them. I want them to happen and will make sure things go that way! Watch this space!

Were you ever torn between your career and relationship?

I still haven't really gone through that stage yet. Even though I don't wish it to happen, but I guess such a question will sooner or later pop up to anyone of us. Don't you think so?

I actually went for an interview this morning. I'm not going to reveal any details unless I really get the job. I have high confidence and feel good with the job. BUT, there's something else bugging me now. The CEO who happened to walk pass the room where I was being interviewed by the COO, had came in to ask some questions...those kind of questions that girls normally dread to answer.

I wasn't really shocked with those questions but what he said had taught me a good lesson that I will meet those kind of people who will really ask such idiotic questions if I were to get this job. Apart from those brain-teaser questions, both the bigshots of the company had asked another question. Even though I (and my other half) have never seriously talked about marriage yet or even on when it's going to happen, even blind people would know that a couple who is in a relationship will sooner or later settle down and build a family together. The interviewers had actually asked whether wedding bells would ring anytime soon. Of course I said no, but their response had actually made me somewhat...erm, shocked.

Oh well...now the title of this topic has really dominated my brain cells! Before I applied for this job, I had really hoped to get their call. And when I got it, I wanted to attend the interview as soon as possible to grab the opportunity. But now, I can't deny that I am actually a bit confused, especially after that interview session. I knew I did quite well in selling myself during the interview but then again, hmmmm....

Bad luck day - where is the parking attendant?

Friday was a bad luck day for me. Here's what happened:

I woke up late that morning coz I can't sleep the night before. It's been like this for weeks. :( Then I got stuck in massive traffic jam coz of faulty traffic lights at almost every road I used -.-

Of all time, my stomach decided to start spinning like a washing machine. It felt more like I was having a sudden diarrhea and needed to go and explode the toilet IMMEDIATELY. But, I was stuck in jam, remember? I can't move or go anywhere.... Just imagine, your ass sudah mau pecah, and you were stuck in a bloody jam for almost an hour!

And when I finally arrived at office, I clocked in, left my bag and immediately disappeared -> toilet. BUT, the bloody cleaners who were supposed to clean the loo at 7.30am each day suddenly decided to clean the place at 8.30am. -.-

So, I went down to Level 2 (cannot access Level 3's toilet - only meant for employees from company M) and YES! "I'm finally at heaven!" I thought. After the explosion, I suddenly realized something. How come there's no tissue here? I checked my pocket and luckily I had one. Only one miserable piece of tissue in my pocket! And when I flushed, it felt like the whole toilet was going to collapse. Water just gushed out like a fountain! Luckily only the bottom part of my jeans got wet. I left the bloody washroom immediately.

I went back to office and started on my work. Another bad thing that happened was, the China analyst who collaborated with me on yet another (private) investigation report had sent me a pile of shit. As Friday was the due date for submission, I only managed to have lunch at 5pm after I cleared her mistakes and done almost everything!

I was supposed to go back early on that day to attend a friend/ex-colleague's farewell buffet dinner but I had to stay back until 7pm for a stupid review on my report. When I finally left office, it was again....very jam coz it was a Friday! Grrr...

As I was already late for my appointment, I drove back as though I was driving a F1 car. I reached home, got ready in 5-10 minutes and rushed out of my house again. The buffet dinner was supposed to start at 7.30pm but I only managed to reach there at about 8.30pm. I hate to be late...! Got stuck in jam again lah...grrr

I thought I was very lucky when I found a parking space exactly opposite the hotel. I parked along the road side and ran into the hotel. After the dinner, it suddenly rained heavily (with thunderstorm, lightning and strong wind, like tsunami was coming!). I couldn't go out to get my car, so I asked a friend to fetch me to where I parked.

I got all wet, and the next thing I noticed was...my green color parking ticket that was left on my windscreen was already torn. The parking attendant had left the ticket there, and it rained and the ticket sudah jadi hancur kecai! Gahhhhh!! As it felt like tsunami was coming (I parked along Gurney Drive), I quickly drove back...and everywhere was flooded! My little car had to swim through to get home.

When I finally reached home, I couldn't find any where to park. So, I parked outside at a nearby road which was poorly lit and it was still raining heavily. I got out of my car with an umbrella and tried to find the torn parking ticket (with the hope that at least a portion of it was still there?). It was that time that I heard some idiots whistling. I turned and saw a BIG group of foreign workers coming my way. Nearly went gila, I locked my car and ran back towards my house under the heavy rain. -.-

Everything just went wrong on that day. Until today, I am still unable to find back that parking attendant. -.- And I will soon be fined for not paying for the parking ticket. Grrr...memang bad luck!

A wake up call from the future

A few minutes ago, I purposely entered a social network website and sent an ex-schoolmate a birthday wish. While on her profile page, I noticed her profession, her photos, other details, etc. I suddenly recalled our days when we were still schooling and very much confused on which path to go. We went on separate ways and both are graduates now, but there's difference between us....

It's not about benchmarking but I couldn't help thinking why she and many other friends (of the same age) have gone so far in their career path and yet yours truly is still struggling here, not knowing whether she had entered the wrong industry. It's not that I'm having a terrible life but it dawned on me that, if back then I had insisted to do things my way and of course if money wasn't an issue, I would be a somebody (professional job ler....not easy!) today. But then again, the "what-if" could never happen again and I could never ever turn back time to do what I was supposed to. What I can do now is to change what I have in mind today for the sake of my future. Hopefully, it's not too late for me to start on a path that would lead me to where I should be going to.

This time, I am going to be persistent on what I want, no matter how difficult the path would be. It's been a tough experience and decision to make. I had always considered the feelings of people and every other issues around me. In the end, I forgot about myself. Time is running and age is catching up, I don't want to miss any opportunities at my age! I have decided to do something for myself...just for myself this time, for the sake of my future.

Decision made

It's been a week or so that I haven't had enough sleep. For the past one week or so, every morning, the moment I opened my eyes till the time I closed my eyes at night, I kept thinking. I was even thinking when I was asleep (I don't think I was really sleeping also). I thought of the whole thing even when I was driving, in the shower and at office.

I had considered so many factors before making this difficult decision. Even though I am 95% sure of the decision, the remaining 5% depends very much on the opportunities. I'm hoping for miracles to happen. I knew the path ahead is going to be very tough, but I will still proceed and continue to walk through it.

I shall keep you updated again.

It is still the same after so many years

Each time you open your mouth and say the hurtful things, it is so heartbreaking that I could almost instantly dig out my heart and throw it back at you. If you hate me so much, why didn't you just kill me when I was young? WHy not leave me at the roadside and let other people feed me???

All these while, no matter what I do, I CAN'T please you at all. PLEASE tell me what else I can do to PLEASE you!! You said I don't listen to your advice, I change...and I listened BUT you said I am still not good enough for you. You complained that I never share my future plans with you, so I shared and what do I get in return? Support?? Nahhh....just a pile of bullshit from you saying that I won't survive in my plans, I will die, die and die. You already looked down on me from the very instance I tell you my things. IT IS VERY HEARTBREAKING, YOU KNOW???? So, am I really SOOOOOO stupid to keep telling you my things since you never even bother to listen??? It felt like I was talking to the wall!!!

No matter what I do, you will just complain! You said I never bothered about the family. BUT WHATEVER DECISIONS I MADE IN THE PAST AND PLAN TO MAKE IN THE FUTURE, I HAD AND STILL CONSIDER ABOUT YOU. SO please tell me, am I stupid enough?????? My money is not valuable enough for you? My money is made of shit, huh??? Oh fuck, I DON'T WANT YOUR MONEY. Even if I have to slog to death in life, I don't even want a single sen! I don't understand why you old people keep saying that we are just like those in the bloody drama...that we are just waiting for you to die to get your money. Oh PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DON'T GIVE ME ANYTHING. I am telling you, I DON'T WANT ANYTHING!!!!

The more you treat me this way, the more I will go against you. This is definitely not an adolescent rebellion but it's about how you treat people and how you want people to treat you. back. Whatever it is, you can continue to self-regard yourself as the king and think of yourself as the greatest, the best, the perfect person in life, I don't want to care anymore! I am damn fucking tired with all these. TIRED!!! It's been 20 over years and it has never change at all. Not only tired but also VERY disappointed!

This is not just disappointing but also humiliating! You always complain about others but never bother to look at yourself in the mirror. You are just the same like those you complained about. You have that kinda mentality as well! LPPL! So, since I am so much hated, I know what I need to do. Just give me some time and I will not be staying here anymore!

Birthday girl~

I thought this year's birthday is going to be a plain boring one. Since you're not around, I knew that apart from reminiscing the sweet moments we had on my last birthday, there's nothing much about today this year.

...but when I suddenly receive a bouquet of flowers at office, it feels so much sweeter. Thanks, dear! My colleagues told me something funny after I received the flowers. I was seen beaming from ear to ear like a small kid. Hehe. :P

~Lovely~

Between your job and money

Time flies! It's been a month since my last post...

The other day, while talking to my family members, I suddenly recalled something. Back then, I had wanted a career, the kind of job that would give me the much desired satisfaction...the oomph (I'm a workaholic, remember?)...and IF I'm really very much into the job, I actually don't mind so much about the pay. But then again, I have gone through the first job and am in my second one now. What I've learned and can say now is, we need to be realistic.

I guess in reality, having adequate source of income for a comfortable and secure life sounds much better than getting a "good" job (please define how good?). Well, that tells you why I will soon be even busier than now. I will definitely focus more on my part time financial services job from now on. And oh, in case you're curious or are interested to know further about letting your money working for you, you can always contact me. :)

Remember the difference of, you working for money and money working for you.

Ciao. Take care.

Of plans and disappointments, and the vicious cycle

Sometimes, I do wonder if I'm no longer bugged by problems or questions (with no answers), will I still be updating this place? I think you probably won't see me blogging ever again. But then again, life is life and here I am, feeling puzzled again. -.-

You know, sometimes I find life rather funny. When you plan for something, and are dying to do/get it, things just won't happen the way you want it to be. And at times when you never thought certain things would happen, it just happens. Isn't it ironic?

At times, I would leave the so-called plans behind me and just walk along the road to whereever it takes me to. But somehow, I would be left puzzled (again!) when I accidentally bump into or meet certain people that reminds me of myself. And it would be like, "Hey! This is what I'm supposed to go through...if I were to continue with my plans. Should I proceed?" And, the plans come back...(including the excitement of course!) and the headache comes along...and I can't find the answers and can't make the decision of whether to proceed or not. -.-

...Or maybe I should give myself another one year or so? Erm, if not mistaken, I said that back in May or June. So, it should be another 10 months or so? Hmmm...damn...got too carried away with the neverending plans again. And when the time comes, the plans won't go as planned and I will be left disappointed and will definitely naik gila again. Gahhh...it's a cursed cycle!

S.L.E.E.P.Y

Help!! Damn sleepy in office....especially after coming back from lunch! >.<

ZZZzzzzzzzz...

The mood fluctuates like share market

Waaa....I didn't blog for 3 weeks already? Time flies!

I was not really busy but just that, I don't have the mood to blog. Sigh. These days I have to have the mood in order to blog. Seems funny coz back then, I just seem to blog on anything, everything on almost everyday.

Anyway, just to share a bit on what I did in my past three weeks. I spent a lot of time with my other half and it still feels like it's never enough. Perhaps, we need MORE time together. Oh yea, I went to KL with him 2 weeks ago and to Genting with his family last week. Tiring but definitely had a great time there.

Oh by the way, today I'm suddenly here...updating my blog coz I just feel very weird today. I had the "Leave me alone, I don't feel like talking" mood today. I didn't talk much at work. I don't know whether it was because of the monthly visits or just purely bad mood...but there were really LOTS of things in my mind. The whole brain felt like rojak and I can't stop thinking. Well, like I once said before, when you can't seem to find the answers to the things in your brain, it gets really frustrating! Grrr...and the last thing you want is to be disturbed!

The real stalker surfaced

Ohh...so, the guy I mentioned in my previous post isn't really the real stalker. Oh well, he turns out to be really extra friendly and that's all about it. Or maybe, he was really intending to be one...until I shared my excitement about my bf. Hehe.

During my initial two weeks of training, somebody told me that another person is eager to know about my status. I didn't think a person's status could be that important and all these while, I have never boasted about having a bf or whatsoever. Well, at least not until I found out that there's an idiot in the office who has been asking colleagues (those who are closer to me) about my personal things, e.g. how deep is the relationship between Tiramisu and her bf?

It's like, "WTF? Whether I'm close to my partner or not, what has that got to do with you? You found out that I have a bf and am in a STEADY relationship. So, what's your problem? Why still ask so much about my bf? Stop being a fool and respect other people! Just buzz off and leave me alone! I hate unwanted attentions and I don't need all that... -.-"

That idiot asked lots of things about my other half and he kept trying to strike a conversation or ask me out for dinner/lunch. I really hate this kind of guys. If you knew someone you like is not available anymore, then just let your hope die off. Just leave that person alone...in peace! Please respect yourself and others!

Just because of this idiot, I had to go around and spread the news, "Hey...you know...my bf this n that..." (which I normally won't do...) and even had to change my Facebook's status to "Engaged" and because of the status thingy, my bf cannot stop teasing me.... >.<

Of stalkers and the extra friendly people

It's been a long time since I met any stalkers. This time, I wouldn't say this guy is into me...maybe not yet. But, the problem is...he's damn irritating. -.-

Initially, he was categorized under the extra-friendly category but somehow, I have just registered him in my potential stalkers list (A list of those to be avoided). It all started when that guy kept sending me annoying messages via Skype (we use it in the office, usually to discuss on cases within the team...but thank God, he's not in my team! Phew!). E.g. "How's Nemo?" (I've got a Nemo pillow at work), "Nemo said hello to me just now", "Wow, you're so yellow today" (I wore a bright yellow top the other day), "Are you sleepy there?", etc. Well, I can entertain all that OCCASIONALLY but I totally tak boleh tahan if people kacau me with such pointless questions daily. It's like...Hello?? Why so childish? Grow up!

To me, those questions I mentioned above sound very much like, "Ehhh...you're eating rice ahh?" or "Oh...you're going to toilet to shit?" I mean...if you knew the answer, why proceed to ask stupid questions? That will just make you look like a fool, no? Like I said, I can entertain these funny questions once in a while but not when I'm busy! I mean, if you didn't get any reply, then just tell yourself that the other person is not free and just shut up lah... It is as simple as that.

I thought I was the only one that thinks he's super irritating, but when another senior colleague told me how much the whole office hated him...I actually felt much relieved. At least, I am not the only bad person that felt annoyed with his presence. Hehe... Perhaps, I need to find some ways to ward off the idiot. I totally cannot tahan sticky-annoying guys that can never understand the meaning of busy and personal space. Mengganggukan.

Having more time for myself

Ever since I changed job, I managed to find more time for myself. Hehehe.... Now, I have the time to go swimming, at least once or twice a week. I could focus on my financial services part time job. I get adequate sleep. I can do so many things. I don't have to worry about my machines and rush here and there like a mad girl anymore. Not bad eh?

Erm, the only thing I'm not comfortable about this new job is, I've to be in front of my computer the whole day. Maybe, I'm just not used to just sitting at office without moving about (like my previous job). Hmmm... maybe this is also the reason why I don't online that often anymore when I'm at home. I mean, I've been staring at my computer screen for 9 hours at work, do I still want to strain my eyes when I get home?

Ohhh, there's something worth mentioning here. In just another 4 days, my other half is finally coming back!! Can't wait to see him. :)

Higher cost of living

There's something very wrong with today's rising cost of living. The other day, when the new petrol price was announced, I did not join thousands of gila people to queue up at the petrol kiosk to feed my little car. I certainly did not need to do so as I had just pumped petrol two days before the announcement. However, when I went to the petrol kiosk a few hours ago, I nearly fainted!

I used to pay only RM 50 ++ for the petrol and now, guess how much I need to pay? It's bloody expensive!! I paid RM74 just now! Idiot. RM24 may not be a huge amount but I could really feel the pinch now. *Ouch* The price of petrol is definitely going to shoot up again and with our current income, it will never be adequate!

Just imagine, the price of petrol has gone up, the price of food (at certain places) have gone up, and many other things are much more expensive than before, BUT there's one thing that remains....your salary. How come our source of income does not go up, following the trend of rising prices? Grrr.... There are so-called incentives or rebate plans being discussed and announced, but will all these really help??? Hahaha... I doubt.

Gosh! I guess, there's a need to speed up on the financial services part time job and buck up on my financial planning skills for survival's sake. *Sweats* Are you not worried??

Oh anyway, I have officially finished the 2 weeks training at my new workplace. I have even received my first two cases today, and the reports must be submitted by end of next week. I guess, more and more cases are coming in on Monday. Anyway, I didn't know there are so many companies that would pay so much to investigate on individuals and other companies' backgrounds. Heh...it feels like I'm a private investigator now, albeit for professionals and business purposes only! Haha.

As we grow older...

As we grow older, do we often do weird things or act in an awkward way? Lately, I noticed that I no longer enjoy going online for hours to chat with friends and also the so-called friends. Of course I am still keeping in touch with my other half since he's currently in overseas but I just don't have the mood to waste my time to chat on MSN anymore. I don't even have the mood to "entertain" certain friends either via email, MSN or Skype and also through phone. Just wondering whether I am acting weirdly or is this just a process of growing up? Hmmm...

Apart from what I mentioned above, I tend to ignore lots of unnecessary things also. A good example would be, pointless gossips. Perhaps, I am much more comfortable to act this way, acting weirdly and ignoring unnecessary things...especially when I am in the middle of deep thoughts. Ahhh....call me the weirdo...whatever you want....I just don't care much these days. :P

Anyway, just a short update. I have started the new job...so far, not much comments yet. I'm currently still undergoing training. I'll have to take some time to determine whether I would be happy in this new industry.

Last week, I went to KL with my family. This time, we drove ourselves there, with the help of a live-GPS (me!) and Nokia maps as well as Garmin (the real GPS maps...hehee). But somehow, both Garmin and Nokia maps were kinda stupid coz we still got lost a few times around PJ area...but, it wasn't too bad. At least, we manage to find our way back to the hotel. In fact, we have visited quite a number of places and even drove all the way to Puchong to visit a family friend. Not bad indeed. We are definitely going to explore other places more often since we have a good reason to do so - GPS maps.

Come what may

Ahhh....the exam is finally over today and I'm now a part time consultant on financial related products / services! Ahem! I took about a month plus to study the thick notes but I guess it's well worth it.

For the past one month or so, I spent most of my time studying and now, it feels so weird. I am so free...but not for long. :( I'll start a new job next month. Though I don't really like the job, ohhh...what the heck, I'm still in the progress of seeking a career change and this new job can temporarily help me to feed myself (while allowing me to focus on my part time job) and hopefully, I can find the kind of job I want and get myself focused on that path later on!

Hmmm...whatever comes your way, embrace it while slowly traveling / climbing towards where you prefer to go...

Walking in dreams

As I was listening to some "old" songs, browsing through a folder where favourite pictures were kept, I suddenly realized one thing. Time is catching up, but there has not been any big progress since then.

The dreams remain dreams, and all that can be done at the moment is to take a stroll in those dreams as they seemed so far away to be reached. Well, it's agreeable that proper planning, determination and patience could bring one, step-by-step nearer to his/her dreams. But what a minute, didn't I just mention about timing? If it is the wrong timing, or there's no whatsoever form of financial support, the carefully laid-out plan is as good as useless.

See? Reality can be cruel. Perhaps, it's not a bad idea to continue taking short walks in the dreams...(and maybe can continue planning?). Well, at least you still have dreams and there are things to look forward to!