The cycle is going to end...soon

Aloha! I am back from the week-long holiday. Well, I had a great time at those places except having to endure the irritating unattended calls from idiots...gahhh, and I am back to work tomorrow. Sad case!

You know, one of the many reasons I went for the short vacation was to get answers to some of the questions I had in mind previously. I was busy exploring almost every corner of the places I went to, and at the same time, I was thinking....and thinking....and thinking.

In these 2-3 months, I knew I was actually going in circles and there was no end to the cycle. In fact, I wasn't happy at all as yours truly was not even moving anywhere from where I started. It obviously doesn't feel good when one is stagnant at a place, without any progress or improvement at all. Some people call it a comfort zone but I wouldn't even want to use that term because I am 100% sure I am not even feeling comfortable.

So, I was actually going in circles and I kept wondering when will the cycle end. After so much of deep thoughts, I guess I have a much clearer answer now. The cycle is going to end soon and the next phase shall begin thereafter. This will be what I am looking forward to this coming new year. I hope it won't take too long...

Anyway, I hope it's not too late to wish you "Merry Christmas!" :)

Pirate's attack!

It was a bright day, when you woke up with full of hope. Out of nowhere, you suddenly realized what you feared most (and in fact, you've expected it to happen!) has finally occurred. And the war is about to begin....amongst the same squad of soldiers.

Initially, everything was ok and there was teamwork but somehow, there's a pirate within that squad but nobody notices it. And when that pirate becomes itchy and starts to play politics, funny questions come to mind.

1) How can you say that somebody is not helping in battlefield when he/she has actually killed so many enemies?

2) How can you say that somebody is not helping in battlefield when he/she actually shouldn't even appear there?

3) What's the point of notifying/complaining to the captain or chief about other soldier's tasks when you yourself are actually the problem one who is not doing a single thing?

There are a few more questions but what's the point of collecting all these questions? It is obvious that when the enemies are attacking and at the same time, you have idiotic soldier in the squad, your team has high possibility of losing the battle and this will definitely lower down the squad's morale. But somehow, I guess some people might be too childish and could not even think of simple things like that. Poor thing. Perhaps he/she should go and eat shit (do reverse things...) so that he/she could think back normally like all of us?

Gahhh...enough of politics! 1 more day! Countdown to a week's holiday! Yay...I just can't wait to get my ass out of this place, at least for a while to take a breather. See you in a week's time.

Early x'mas mood

It's only the second week of December and I'm already in a Christmas mood. Haha. Just like a small kid, I just can't wait anymore. I have even applied for leave and should be going on a short vacation to de-stress! Ahhh...this couldn't have been better! Damn, speaking of x'mas, I still haven't bought the presents! Any idea of what to buy?

Hmmm...

Anyway, just to share with you, there will be a career expo at PISA next weekend. If you're unhappy with your current job, or looking for career advancement, or would like to change to a new job or just want to join the crowd, you should be at PISA next weekend. See you there!

A few hours to Monday....

It's Sunday today, and as usual, the mood goes down the drain as time draws nearer to Monday. You know what? This is really a shitty feeling...

Well, I guess I'll just stop here today. No point grumbling about the same thing over and over again. I'll just do something, which is much more practical at this moment - Update my resume!

Take care. Ciao...

Yet another cycle....

It's been 2 weeks since the last time I blogged. Damn! See how fast time flies!

Ever since handling this current project, life hasn't been that good. Each day, it feels like going into a battlefield all by myself (or maybe with just one or two backup members), where I'm trying my very best to put out fire in front and you get idiots starting the fire from the back. So, when can this action of putting out the fire end??? I really don't know. What I know is, I'm really, really very tired, mentally and physically.

I wish I could stop complaining, but what can be done? How long can I continue this sucky work condition? How long do I need to tolerate the trend of having to work till 8~9 or 10 pm almost everyday? *Sigh* I still can't find answers to these questions. It is definitely not as easy as I've thought. I don't know why but I've been feeling a bit weird too lately. I get scared when Sunday arrives, coz I know the cycle will start again as Monday comes. I'm also afraid of phone calls now! No matter what I do or say, it still comes back to the same question, "I'm going in circles, when will the cycle end?"

Having to endure such political situations in the office is already bad enough, but knowing that the other half is also going through similar situations (or worse) hurts me even more. We were relaxing at the beach last night, enjoying the sea breeze under the moon when we suddenly touched on this topic. I was thinking, perhaps we should consider giving ourselves another chance to continue with the current on-going projects, try to be more patient and tolerate the whole situation for the time being. If the whole situation worsens, maybe it's really time to change to a new direction, a new destination....

Trapped!

Today has been a little more difficult even though it was quite "peaceful" in the first half. There were no calls from the noisy customers in the morning, no unnecessary meetings to attend too...but I don't know why I felt like there was no motivation at all, not long after lunch.

What was the cause of low morale at work? I hate to feel this way. I just can't stop myself from thinking of:

"When is my next holiday?" "What time can I go home?" "How long do I need to wait?" "Have I chosen the wrong path?" "When will I be able to 'breathe properly' without any worries about my projects?"

You know what? The more I ask myself these questions each day, the more I hate myself. I know I'm a hopeless over-responsible (erm, I am not bragging here) workaholic, BUT I seriously need a long break. I've been working non-stop since a long time ago...erm, last year (when my final year at Uni starts) and I haven't gotten enough rest since. I am just so damn bloody tired, both physically and mentally.

I am not really complaining about my work. It's just that when I plan to do other things, as in to balance up my lifestyle but I don't have the time to do it, I really get very pissed off! Some time ago or a few posts back, I did mention that I really wanted to do something, to focus on it....to enrich my life but look at me now! I haven't moved far since that day! Grrr....

I am so pissed off with myself now. I hate waking up to a routine life where I have to constantly ask myself, "Can I go back at 6.30pm today?"

I'm really wondering as to how long I can continue with this kinda lifestyle. I'm afraid I have to tell you that...I actually still love to deal with people (coz I am a people-oriented person!) BUT I don't want to work in this industry anymore. It is so tiring to get chased by so many parties each day, especially when you can't get the answer/support from your "weak" team. Each day, you're all alone to defend for everybody. Even if I were to borrow money from the Ah Longs, they won't even chase me until like that! Damn, idiots!

I was thinking, IF I were to consider somebody's offer some time ago, where I get to enjoy each day, driving a nice car and living in a condo without any worries, how would life be like? But then again, if I had taken up that offer, I wouldn't be Tiramisu anymore. Just like you, I will also look down on myself for being so cheap! Bleh....

So I've got no choice, I need to continue working....and I love to be independent. Well, maybe....I really need to look for other jobs that is more suitable?? Hmmm....

Going in circles

Wow, it's been so long already since I last blogged?

Damn...life has been so routine lately, all because of work. Ever since my boss loaded me with a big important project, I barely have any personal time at all. Gahhh....I know I am complaining!!

I've been so busy each day...haih....but here I am today, just blogging a few words just to tell you something. This blog is not dead yet, and so is the owner of this blog! Haha...

Anyway, looks like I can't blog much today. It's time to sleep (this is so sad!). Take care. Ciao.