Do you believe in miracles?

I’m talking about miracles, not magic or ghosts or the presence of any spiritual beings. All the while, I don’t believe in such things but currently, I have to convince myself that miracles do exist…but of course it’s only to a certain extent. People say it pays a lot of effort to make a dream come true, and that will eventually become some sort of miracle.

When something impossible or unexpected happens, we perceive that it’s a miracle. So, for the time being, I shall dwell in the perception that miracles really exist and they have an unambiguous correlation with effort. Hence, this picture below will be accompanying me to keep me going till I see the colorful rainbow called miracles. Great idea.

Anyway, I’m now about 80% clear of which country I’m going to apply for the “training abroad” program. The most important thing is that that Someone up there and my parents support my decision. *sobs* I’m so touched! So, no matter what, I’m trying my best, and there’s a need to put in 101% effort to materialize what’s in the mind. I don’t have much time left, as there are many things to do in these few months. I need to maintain my CGPA for the final two semesters. I need to do well in the interviews. I need to include more interesting things in my resume.

At this moment, nothing is much more important than the main goal in mind. So, beware of yours truly as anyone who comes blocking her way will be ignored or invited into her world of sarcasm. Any naysayer will also be persecuted. If you have any bullshits against my perception and objective, then go and shit somewhere else…but if you would like to show your support, then please do!

Damn. Have I gone crazy, again? Oh well… I feel very much energized with this goal in me, as there’s something to look forward to every day when I wake up in the morning. Oops. I’ve got too many things to do and there's a need to fully optimize the time I have now! I’m off. Ciao. =)

The wall built between two souls

A few hours ago, we were there at the famous western food corner at Mount Erskine. He was enjoying his meal while I was busy thinking of so many things.

"He's not the one" I reminded myself about the fact I realized some time ago, while my eyes were still glued at him. "Is this the face that I'm going to see for the next few months, or years?" I asked myself while looking at his beautiful eyes. After some time, I told him about the "training abroad" program I applied for. Surprisingly, he supported my idea and that's really a good thing...but I had something else in mind. When should our story end?

The longer it takes, the deeper it gets. I know the wall cannot block forever. It's really a situation that is too vulnerable. It's not ideal to unblock just like that as it'll surely be a dead end, once again. But, sooner or later, this bugger might successfully demolish the strong structure that has been there since don't know when. So, is it a good idea to attach the "The End" placard to the whole story and just say goodbye?

The other day, he asked and I said "I don't know" but I guess there's something somewhere in me. I didn't admit it. I'm still unsure. It's definitely not a good sign coz I don't think there's any significant return from this investment. Or there is? I don't bother much actually. Erm, maybe yours truly is already bored with this one and diversification of the investment portfolio should be done soon.

I realized we are actually doing the same thing...something that not everyone is willing to do or could afford it. It's obvious that we both are playing with fire but I seriously don't know how long we could continue playing without getting burnt. So, will the so-called "happily ever after" thingy happen? Nehh. I'm bored with all those craps already. Damn. Maybe it's a cue that I need something more challenging. Perhaps, I should diversify and invest in a new one? Hahaa... Yea. Maybe that's a good pastime while I focus on my career path. Brilliant!

Indecisive obsession

After so many days, I'm still so bloody obsessed with the industrial training thingy. In fact, I'm still very surprised with the whole idea of local undergraduates from public universities doing their training abroad. All the while, I've been ignorant about this and now, after knowing it, I suddenly became so proud of my Uni! Bleh.

The other day, when I was in the HOD's office, I enquired about the "training abroad" program. I was skeptical that the companies from other countries would recognize us. They might not even have the slightest clue that my Uni exists! So, I asked, "Which country can we go to for the training abroad program?"

"Anywhere...just as long as it's a developed country, preferably an English speaking country" the HOD answered with a smile.

"What? You mean our Uni is actually recognized in other countries? They know we exist?? I overreacted.

"Yes. There are many established companies from other developed countries who are willing to accept students from our Uni. The problem is, not many students are willing to go there. Some dare not even try as they're not academically qualified or are afraid of leaving our country." He explained.

And that was it. My exaggerating reaction is still very fresh in mind now. I'm still thinking about the whole thing. Looks like this obsession will be accompanying me till the day I start my industrial training, which is a good sign. It'll be a catalyst to push me forward to do anything relevant to get what I've always wanted. Brilliant idea!

Anyway, I did a lot of self-discovery and self-reflection for the past few days. There were so many things in mind that I rarely had the time to think of anything else that appeared less important. I told my family about this whole thing yesterday night and I'm kind of surprised with mum's reactions. I'm very happy with what she said!

She agreed with the "training abroad" program! She even said that if UK's the destination, then I should grab the chance. Maybe she recalled that she missed her opportunity to further studies in UK last time and now, she's really encouraging her own daughter to go after it. Oh I'm so touched. *sobs* As for dad, just as I've expected, he just kept quiet and didn't say anything much. That's not a good sign actually. I know he would always support me in anything I do but I'm sure he's sad that his little girl is leaving the nest soon. Bro didn't comment much either but he advised that I should choose a nearer location, which is much more logical and realistic. He added that I could always fulfill my dreams next time...

So, my family's reactions made me think further. This is really a big conflict in the brain, where I need to make a difficult decision. It's between fulfilling my dreams and thinking logically. UK or Singapore? Or somewhere else, like US, Canada or Australia? Damn. Besides getting the headaches of which to choose, there's another bad attitude in me. It's actually a plus point too if you see it from another angle. There's this thing in me that, no matter what I do, once I start, I must make sure I get it. If not, I might as well don't do it at all. It's as simple as ...whatever I do, I make sure I try to get the best out of it. So, it's actually a bad thing to me. I desperately want to qualify and be chosen for this "training abroad" program...but will it really happen?

I'm just afraid that too much of hope could sometimes bring disaster...but guess I'm ready for the upcoming challenges. No matter what happens, I still have back-up plans to support. *prays that everything goes on smoothly*

It's right in front of my face!

It has always been a dream to study abroad since childhood days. To be specific, I’ve always wanted to study at one of the prestigious universities in UK (The back-up plan would be Singapore). The dream is so fascinating that until today, I’m still dreaming of it. I thought, maybe I could just get my ass to that place and earn a MBA one day….but definitely not any time soon.

The other day, the seminar on pre-registration for industrial training made me consider the opportunities right ahead of me. After too much of pondering, I finally went to see the Head of Department (HOD) for industrial training. I enquired many questions. He gave me a lot of scenarios to ponder upon too.

All the time, I thought the fascination of studying in UK would make me go all crazy and become someone with a Machiavellian behavior, so to speak but I was wrong. After meeting the HOD, what he told me made me think further. I never thought I would react that way. I thought I would just grab the opportunity without further consideration. I thought I would grasp the chance as it’s really right in front of my face but I was so wrong. The opportunity to do my industrial training in UK actually made me shudder. The thoughts of it is actually a tad suffocating. I can't breathe properly. This is so unexpected. It’s that kind of feeling like as if you’re actually standing at the entrance to opportunities to work in UK. You’re in the process of it. It’s either a yes or a no. Oh damn! I could actually do my training in UK once I passed the interviews?? OMG! I still can’t believe it!

I would very much like to go there to fulfill my childhood dream…but it’s not as easy as that. I have to take into consideration on many things, like…will my family be okay with me, being there alone? Will bro be able to take care of my folks? Will I survive the 6 to 7 times exchange rate compared to RM? Will there be job opportunities for graduates like me? How often can I come back to my hometown? How about accommodation, clothing, food, transportation, etc.? …and the list goes on. I’ve thought of it. Maybe it would be insane to try UK. It’s not within my means. Not many people can actually afford it too…

The risk is significantly bigger compared to another option of mine, which is to do my industrial training at the developed neighbouring country, Singapore. I’m still very undecided….but I’m definitely grabbing the golden opportunity to get my ass out of this country. I’ve actually applied for this “training abroad” program and am expected to attend two rounds of interviews before everything is confirmed. Yes! I repeat….I have written down my name for the selection of students to do industrial training abroad. However, I have yet to decide on which country to go to. I’ve thought of New Zealand and Australia as well. Hmmm…. decisions!! Aiiihhh….

I’m not being negative but I really don’t know whether I stand a chance to do my training abroad or not. If not, I could just do it locally. BUT, there’s this thing in me that I never like to forego any opportunities that come my way. I don’t bloody care whether I could get it or not. I’m just going to try my best, as I don’t want to regret later. Damn. Am I too obsessed with the idea of training abroad and my childhood dreams? I can't stop myself from thinking about it. Which country should I apply for? Have I gone crazy? Aihhh....

Zero gravity

I attended a seminar on Saturday morning and surprisingly, when it ended, I felt like I was flying. It was a feeling as though my feet were lifted off the ground, and my body experienced zero gravity pull. That was a tad exaggerating but somehow, I really felt that way. How often do you dream or daydream until you experience what I mentioned?

It wasn’t a motivational seminar. It was just a talk on the pre-registration for industrial training but I was transported into another year, with the images of myself at an unfamiliar place with new faces, new surrounding, everything new around me. What the speaker said during the three-hour talk had sort of awaken yours truly that, it’s almost time to leave the comfortable status of being a student. Each final year student who attended the talk needs to think of where they’re heading to after concluding the six semesters in Uni. And, I am just the same. I need to think of where I want to do my industrial training so that I could register once the registration period starts.

As expected, all sorts of uncertainties are attached to whichever decision made. Besides local companies, we’re allowed to apply for training abroad too but the requirements are definitely tighter. So, I’m actually considering all these, which is to grab both opportunities concurrently. The highest authority of the Industrial Training department would be the one to select a company for training attachment for each student. So, in other words, I have no choice but to leave it to fate, so to speak. Hopefully, I’ll get a good company where it would be a stepping-stone to practice, learn and upgrade myself to further stages in life.

Speaking of hope, I read something interesting the other day. It says that HOPE forms an acrostic for Honest Optimism based on Personal Efforts. Oh dear! I’m running out of time. I’ll blog more about HOPE next time. Ciao.

Shortie the reporter

The postman brought Mum a surprise the other day, which made her RM200 poorer. Apparently, it was a ticket from the "Saya NAnti Rasuah" team, claiming that she had beaten Rule 17 and the offence was committed in May, somewhere at Dato Kramat Road.

So, we were there at the big ibu pejabat at Patani Road. That place didn't look like a police station as everyone who was in the navy blue uniform appeared obese. So, I personally don't think anyone with so much of lard could even chase the pencuris, pembunuhs, perogols, etc... Anyway, we went there to enquire about Rule 17. While waiting for our turn, Shortie the reporter appeared. The annoying man who's in his late 20's was behind us when he suddenly talked to us.

"Why are you here?" Shortie the reporter asked.

With just a glance, I knew he wasn't a cop. So, I ignored him but mum was extra friendly, so she told him why we were there. Seriously speaking, Shortie the reporter asked a very stupid question as we were actually at the Traffic Offence department. Even fools would know that we're there to pay for the summon and not to chit-chat with the obese officers.

Acting smart again, he took a peep at mum's ticket and spoke in Hokkien, "Ohh....Rule 17? Aiya, no need to enquire already la. They'll never give you discount wan"

"How do you know?" mum enquired while I whispered into her left ear "Do not talk to strangers...ignore him".

Shortie the reporter continued his bullshits about being a reporter, having "emergencies" all the time and he had no choice but to beat traffic lights. By that time, I've already formed a bad impression on this man. He's just another irritating reporter, who's obviously very very busybody!

"Wow. You're very proud of your traffic offences, huh? No wonder you make good friends with the officers here!" I answered in response to his bullshits. But, I think he didn't get what I mean and he asked another silly question, "Why did you beat the traffic lights?"

Mum who was in her uniform, told him that she had received an emergency call from the hospital and the patient was in a critical condition. So, she was in a hurry and had no choice but to beat the traffic lights. He responded with "oohs" and "ahhs" and kept following us, telling us what we should do and things like that.

Mum and I went to the fifth floor and then to the first floor to clarify everything before we paid for the traffic offence. We were about to leave the big building, when Shortie the reporter appeared again.

"How? Can reduce the amount?" He asked.

Mum just said no and we heard him saying, "See? I told you!" We ignored him and left that place as soon as possible, hoping that we won't see the annoying reporter's face ever again.


The morals of the story:
1) Never talk to strangers. Mum taught me this when I was young but I had to remind her just now. Sigh.
2) Reporters are as annoying as Salesmen (Note: Insurance Agents are included)
3) Rushing against time to interview or report about a Datuk's Yee Lai, or the scandal of any Datuks isn't an emergency. Rushing to the hospital to save someone's life or even rushing to the toilet is a real emergency.
4) The "Saya NAnti Rasuah" team is not friendly. If they were helpful and easily approachable, then Shortie the reporter wouldn't need to be there.
5) Never try to act smart when you're actually being a fool of your own self.

...Burning alternatives...

It was Saturday morning. As I was bored usual, I browsed a few property developers’ websites (my favourite thing to do whenever I’m free…haha) and I stumbled upon an architect’s website. I was amazed with almost everything there, until the moment I saw the professional’s resume.

This architect and most of her colleagues or teammates actually graduated from UPM. Initially, I thought the architecture (majoring in landscaping) course they took was only open to Science students but I was wrong. I went to check the book of university entries and found that the course is actually open to both Science and Arts students BUT I didn’t apply for it!

Bloody hell! I missed the opportunity to study something interesting! Gah!! I could have been offered a place to study that exciting course there! And I might possibly be a professional architect majoring in landscaping and interior designing after graduation! *Wakes up from daydreaming* Aiihh…. Isn’t it too late now? Sheesh!

That evening, when I was on my way back to Uni by bus, I couldn’t sleep. Normally, I would seize every opportunity to slumber but I just can’t fall asleep as the brain was filled with my newfound passion in architecture, buildings and related stuff. Three years ago, I was ignorant of this passion in me as I only developed interest in this area sometime after I entered Uni. I knew I wouldn’t get a place there too if I had applied for it three years ago. Well, it’s not about regretting what I’m doing now, as I’m already in my final year. I just want to finish whatever I’m studying right now and get my ass out of this oh-so-boring place as soon as possible.

I really can’t wait to finish studies. I’m kind of excited to enter the next stage of my life too but if given a chance, I would really like to study or delve on things I’m interested in. I always have this mindset of “Life is short, we should always get the most out of it” BUT will time allow? Damn. I believe there’s no such crap as “too late” for anything as long as we put in some effort to strive for whatever we want but it could be impossible as we only have 24 hours each day. It would be ideal if there were another ten years between age 20 and 30 to make it a total of 20 years of gap. That would be adequate. Hehe. I’m greedy!

I know most people would think I’m such a nerd since I like studying so much. Truth is, I don’t really like to study, but I love to explore my passion and interests. See the difference now? What I found on that website made me uncomfortable. I’m not satisfied with what I’m doing now. So, I made an unexpected resolution. I’ve decided to get a second degree, a qualification in something I really like once I start a new job but on second thought, it would be insane to get another degree while working. It would certainly be too taxing to juggle between studies, work, relationship and family. How am I going to divide myself into a few parts to fulfill the four different obligations in just 24 hours’ time? Damn. See the relevance of having 36 hours a day now?

Oh, speaking of furthering studies, I’m actually torn between two options. Should I proceed with my passion in architecture, or continue with the long-term target of getting an MBA? The problem is I have interest in both areas but I can’t be doing both things at the same time. I could save a lot if I opt for architecture as it could be done locally and also on a part time basis while I focus on my job. On a contrary, it has always been a dream to get my ass out of this country to earn that piece of qualification called MBA at a certain age. If I were to continue with a second degree, I might need to postpone my long-term target unless I win lottery (which is impossible, as I don’t gamble! And don’t ask me to marry a rich man too coz I don’t fancy the idea of selling myself for the sake of realizing my dreams or to obtain something…I’m not that desperate yet… ) Bleh!!

You may think that I’m crazy coz I actually needn’t think so much on all these things now but do I have a choice? I reckon it’s better to start planning now (with a few alternatives and back-up plans in mind) before I get more headaches when the time comes. After all, I’m not a last minute kaki like you! *Rolls eyes* Now, I’m torn between a few alternatives as I need to thoroughly consider the time, age, responsibility and financial factors! Oh well, guess I need to consult more peeps on this issue. What have you got to say? Mind to share? Any opinions?

*I'm so damn tired. I have five classes today from morning till night. It's just like working from 8am to 5pm, continue with OT from 8pm to 11pm! Aiihh...I need a massage!

***Update: I went to check a few public and private institutions' websites, made enquiries and asked a friend who's an architect regarding my enthusiasm in architecture. The answer I get isn't satisfying. There's no such thing as studying architecture on a part time basis. I could only get that piece of qualification if I allocate three to four years for its full time studies. So, I guess it's pretty clear that I should continue with the initial plan of getting an MBA at a certain age...but if there's an opportunity next time, I wouldn't mind spending a few years on architecture. Well, it's still too early to decide on exploring my passion as I still have other plans in mind and need to fulfill some personal obligations before I focus on that area...

"That One"

Do you believe that there's really someone out there who is "The Right One" for you? I wouldn't want to fantasize so much on that phrase, but I guess I've been a sucker in this belief for years! Some say that the search for "The One" is actually synonymous to looking for a soul partner. It's just like you're being a fool of yourself for years, falling in and out of relationships, just to find that someone. How stupid can that be?

Sometimes, you do wonder whether a certain guy or girl you're dating is "The One" or not. After some time, when you realised that he or she is not that one, you'll start to ponder whether the whole thing should be ended or not. Sounds familiar? Oh well, yours truly is a good example of the above scenario. Maybe, it's just a lame excuse that I get bored with certain peeps or things easily. Hehehe.

It just feels weird that the identification process could be done very fast. I don't know about you but I've always had this special instinct that tells me the right thing about anyone I meet. Even the horoscope and numerology book stated that I'm born like that! I'm not being superstitious but am I really born with a special talent or what? That's freaking scary actually...but it surely helps a lot. I could see the true colors of certain peeps easily, but for the rest, I need some time to analyze.

So, do you believe that "The One" really exist? I do...but I'm sure that the current one I'm dating is not "That One". Don't ask me how sure am I coz it's just inexplicable. Hehe. I took some time to analyze things about him and I know the answer now. But, think I need more time to be sure of everything. Oh well, it's nothing big deal actually coz it's clear that we're not really serious with each other yet. Besides, I've learnt from previous experiences that one shouldn't give too much, pour in too much hopes and feelings as it'll be a dead end once you fall down. It's difficult to carry yourself up again once you fall. So, it doesn't really matter that much for this one. I'll let time be the judge.

The other day, I read an article on Cleo magazine. It says that it's not wrong for a girl to keep her options open, and that she shouldn't feel guilty if she's dating more than a man. So, it means that I shouldn't feel guilty too! *Grins*

Are you men intimidated?

The new semester started a few days ago. As usual, the girls dominate the population of new students or first semester undergraduates. According to a lecturer, out of a total of 6500 new students, about 70% of them are girls. So, does that mean that we girls are smarter? Oh well, I’m not going to debate on that today but what’s wrong with the male population?

Over the years, I’ve come to realize that men are usually afraid of intelligent ladies. With a scientifically proven record, the male ego in men makes them less interested or rather intimidated by women who hold higher positions at work or earn better wages. It is definitely a bad news to the successful women out there but how true can this be? Well, I’m really curious.

Seriously speaking, have you guys ever thought of one thing? Ever asked yourself why some women are not interested in you? …or why is it that you failed to attract certain girls? Well, I’m not really stressing on gender equality or discrimination here, but don’t you guys feel a bit ashamed of yourselves that most of today’s women achieve more in life that you? It is definitely not true that we girls love to compare achievements, wages, etc. etc. but honestly speaking, it is really a great turn off if the man we date has a lower qualification, or worse still, a lower mentality than us.

It’s not that you cannot date or marry someone of a higher qualification, but can you guys at least change your mindset and be a real man? Even though there are many househusbands these days, oh please….are you going to put your male ego aside, put on the apron, cook, feed the baby and do household chores at home while waiting for your beloved partner who takes over the role as the sole breadwinner? You got to be kidding!

Let me tell you something. If you have that kind of dream, which is to be a househusband, then you better sleep in your dream forever. Even in this modernized society, not many women are able to accept a husband who stays at home. (This excludes people who works at home or telecommuting.) I’m not saying that men cannot do household chores (of course it would be better if the man is able to help out at home) but staying at home and be a househusband? It really sounds a bit sissy to me!

So, now that explains why there are so many ladies out there who prefer to remain single. I mean, if these women could financially support themselves, then why should they lower down their standards and simply date or marry any Tom, Dick or Harry for the sake of having babies, or maybe because it’s time for them to tie the knot before it’s too late? Don’t get me wrong. The ladies might have the intentions of dating or marrying someone of the same or a higher standard but that doesn’t mean they’re materialistic. I’d say they’re just being realistic. Since they could financially support themselves, they’re certainly not looking for men who only function as an ATM machine.

Well, just a piece of advice to you guys out there. It doesn’t matter how much you’re earning, but please…. for goodness sake, please change your mindset. You men should never stay static at the current comfort zone. Be ambitious (Men are basically ambitious….that’s a traditional fact!) and strive for more in life. I heard you mumbling that you’re very contented with what you have now. So, I think I better congratulate you, but you know what? One should never be easily satisfied with what he has until he reaches his retirement stage. Oh come on, are you going to stop making ambitious dreams and targets in life just because you’ve achieved the previous ones? That will only make you a non-progressive person, or another term, a loser. Seriously, if a businessman stops thinking of potential growth for his company, then there would be no improvement to his business empire and everything would remain the same till the time he dies.

Life is just like a business. We need to be progressive. So guys, heed my advice and you’ll soon be able to see the difference yourselves. Oops. I thought I’ve always been a feminist? Haha…of course I still am! I still support the idea that women should have the same rights and opportunities as men but I’m not in favour of the female domination in certain aspects. After all, what’s life without some challenges from the opposite sex? *Grins*

Stuck in the jungle...

I'm bored! There's nothing much to do here! It's just too bad that I can't watch the World Cup Finals tonight as I have classes tomorrow! Sheesh.

Damn. I miss my friends terribly. I miss him too. Oh...hopefully, I can go back to Penang on Wednesday! Haha.

Be right back. Till then, take care!

**Supports Italy!! **

Back to the jungle

I'll be back to Uni tomorrow morning. I checked the Students' Portal just now and found out that my "dear" roommate is going to share the same room AGAIN. Now, aren't you supposed to congratulate me? *rolls eyes*

Oh well, she's a nice and friendly girl....really...but I can't tolerate her untidiness. So, I guess there would be more posts specially dedicated to her. *Evil grin* There would be more posts about the lousy students there too.

Anyway, don't forget to miss me coz I know I have lots of peeps for me to miss too. Hehehe. This time I'll be there for four days, and back to Penang for three days each week (maybe once in every two weeks...it depends). See how much I love Penang now? Haha.

Oops. It's almost 6pm? I'm off. See ya! Remember to miss me! HAhaha.

Feelings of inadequacy

How often do you feel inadequate...or incomplete? Sometimes, this weird feeling would just strike me out of the blue, making me uncomfortable. Then, I would start thinking of myself as some kind of desperado living a life with something missing...and the funny thing is, I don't even know what's missing! Is there something wrong with me? Have you ever experienced the same kind of feeling?

I was listening to Michael Buble's songs when this peculiar thoughts of incompleteness took over. Maybe, that's a cue that I need psychiatric treatment as soon as possible! HAha.

Random things about myself

I'm going back to Uni this Saturday and I should be packing my things right now, but hmm...I just don't feel like doing it! So, I foresee that mum's going to continue nagging. Haha.

Anyway, here's a list of random things about myself. I'm not blogging it out to tell anyone anything. This post is merely written to remind myself for me to laugh at myself when I'm older.

I have four eyes. When I don't wear specs or contact lenses, I'm totally next to blind.

The body parts that I treasure most: My eyes, my hair, my lips.

I'm taller than most guys I know. This is a great turn off.

I'm not the sleek and slender type. That's why I identify myself as a walking pork chop.

I hate volcanoes on the face. They make my skin sensitive.

I look better with long hair. I'm fine with both straight or curly hairstyle, but not short hair coz I don't want to look like a mushroom head.

I can't live without wearing high heels. So, that explains why I prefer dating guys who are at least 174cm and above.

I love to play with colours. That explains why I love nail varnish and cosmetics so much but I'm still a minimalist when it comes to make-up. I prefer not to have a face as thick as a pancake. And my toe nails can go from dark blue to green to silver and gold. Did I mention I love my nails painted in navy blue?

I love accesories, especially earrings. My earrings are all long and dangly ones.

I could sleep for as little as 4 hours per day or as much as 13 hours a day. It depends. I'm just another pig.

I can survive on bread alone because I love it. Speaking of food, I'm not choosy when it comes to eating. I'm just a dustbin. I eat anything. I was taught not to be choosy when it comes to food. Thanks to my parents. Now, I'm trying to be choosy because I need to watch my food intake. *Grins* Anyway, anything with a sweet and sour taste should be awesome.

As for drinks, I always order the same few types. I'm also a coffee lover, only mocha, white coffee or cappucino. As for alcoholic beverages, Vodka rules.

I will be in my final year once this new semester starts. I will NEVER go back to that place or state for Masters or any job offer. Never.

I prefer to live in a busy, city life, with many cars and buildings but I really love places with beautiful sandy beaches.

I'm interested in residential properties, both landed and high-rise. I have been religiously stalking on the potential growth of properties in Klang Valley for the past one year or so. I might invest in properties next time if I'm unable to enter this industry to work.

I am an ambitious freak. Besides, I also believe that self-upgradation is a lifelong thing. So, knowledge plays a vital role in my life.

I'm stubborn and I don't give up easily. Once I've lost faith in someone or something, I will not turn back anymore.

I get jealous easily, that's only when it involves people I truly care. So, the guy I'm dating now should be smiling away since I turned into a green-eyed monster previously.

I listen to all genres of music but I love certain types of songs only.

I attract lots of older, mature men. Don't ask me why but majority of those I've dated are currently in their late twenties. I also have a few male friends who are in their thirties. Maybe, it's just my mindset.

I love travelling but due to time, age and financial constraints, I'm still unable to travel to certain places....but I will try to make it possible once I get a job.

Unlike the other girls out there, I could join my male friends to watch football matches. I know some of the players too! HAha.

I consider myself an attention seeker. Who would not enjoy getting attention from the opposite sex? So, if that bugger's not giving me enough TLC, maybe I should seek more attention from other people. *Grins*

I hate anyone who wants to lead a glamourous life when it is not a necessity. You know, the type that would desperately join the popular gang of students or anyone glamourous just to popularize himself. That's just plain stupid. That will only make a person a useless parasite.

I could turn into a cold-blooded sarcastic person once I'm pissed off or provoked. So, I "kill" people with hurtful words.

Five physical things I see when I look at men: Height. Eyes. Neck. Shoulders. Waistline or overall body size.

Five things I hate about guys I date: Too short. Immature. Smoking. Untidy. Too mushy. Over-sensitive. Low self-confidence. No vision or goals or not ambitious enough. (Oops. I mentioned more than five already? HAha...there are too many things to list down.)

I like kids and they love me. But, I'll never bring them to this world if I can't afford or am unable to feed and parent them. So, practise safe sex and use condom. Sheesh. Am I promoting for Durex now? *Rolls eyes*

I adapt to different surroundings easily. I could be dead serious or extremely crazy. It depends on the place and people I'm dealing with.

Some say I'm materialistic but I don't think so. I still feel that the right word is realistic. I know I'm being one.

Oops. Have I written too much? Think I better continue next time if there's anything else to add to the list of things about me. Shit. The mood has gone down the drain! I'm off. Ciao.

The green-eyed monster appeared...

Seriously, would you date someone if there's no feelings involved? I realised I wasted too much time pondering over all sorts of relationship related issues in my previous one. So, this time, I tried something different, which is less complicated. I'm dating a man without thinking too much. Heh. Even though our relationship is not really confirmed yet, we are just like any other couples you see out there. Go figure what I mean here, I'm not going to elaborate much. The only thing is, I doubt whether feelings really exist.

I don't know how he feels but I'm really unsure of my own feelings for him. Maybe, I'm just a chicken shit who is probably too tired of the previous experiences. So, this could really be a self-destructive method. I don't know. Yesterday, I went out with a cheemui and told her about this but she just laughed at me. I don't get it. Is it true that a third person sees things clearer than ourselves? She said I'm in love with this man. Well, no doubt he has a few of those qualities I'm looking for (He has the same interest as he's someone from the property industry! That's really surprising!), I'm still unaware of my own feelings. Damn. Now, I really feel like a sucker in relationship issues. Am I numb to all these things already?

Anyway, maybe a bit of jealousy tells the truth? HAha. I was quite annoyed with him yesterday night. We were supposed to go out after he finished work, but that bugger decided to play alongside Luis Figo and Cristiano Ronaldo, together with his younger brother, leaving me alone at home with a bloody toothache and stomach cramp! So, the green-eyed monster took over, and I was actually envious of the idiot box, the whole team of Portugal players and his younger brother? Well, is there anything wrong with me? *Grins*

I even thought of other funny things... "Maybe he's with another girl?" It was almost 2am and I was still irritated when he called. He suddenly became a littly boy, screaming with joy over the phone as his team won in the match against England. I could hear his brother cheering away. And that was it. He was really watching the match while I was thinking of stupid things. Haha. Actually, it doesn't make sense at all. I mean, why should I be jealous when our relationship actually started because of World Cup? *Grins* Erm, maybe what my friend said could be right? I still don't know. Time will judge everything. So, for the time being, I shall continue to enjoy all the attention and cherish the moments spent together. =)

I heard you asking whether this one will last? My answer is I don't know and I don't care much too. After all, there are still many other eligible men out there. *Grins* I don't want to ponder upon the much dreaded relationship issues for the sake of the uncertainties in the future. It makes me nauseous. What I'm sure of is that he's the current one but I'm not sure whether he is the right one or not. Time will decide. So, is that a good sign or a bad one?