It's right in front of my face!

It has always been a dream to study abroad since childhood days. To be specific, I’ve always wanted to study at one of the prestigious universities in UK (The back-up plan would be Singapore). The dream is so fascinating that until today, I’m still dreaming of it. I thought, maybe I could just get my ass to that place and earn a MBA one day….but definitely not any time soon.

The other day, the seminar on pre-registration for industrial training made me consider the opportunities right ahead of me. After too much of pondering, I finally went to see the Head of Department (HOD) for industrial training. I enquired many questions. He gave me a lot of scenarios to ponder upon too.

All the time, I thought the fascination of studying in UK would make me go all crazy and become someone with a Machiavellian behavior, so to speak but I was wrong. After meeting the HOD, what he told me made me think further. I never thought I would react that way. I thought I would just grab the opportunity without further consideration. I thought I would grasp the chance as it’s really right in front of my face but I was so wrong. The opportunity to do my industrial training in UK actually made me shudder. The thoughts of it is actually a tad suffocating. I can't breathe properly. This is so unexpected. It’s that kind of feeling like as if you’re actually standing at the entrance to opportunities to work in UK. You’re in the process of it. It’s either a yes or a no. Oh damn! I could actually do my training in UK once I passed the interviews?? OMG! I still can’t believe it!

I would very much like to go there to fulfill my childhood dream…but it’s not as easy as that. I have to take into consideration on many things, like…will my family be okay with me, being there alone? Will bro be able to take care of my folks? Will I survive the 6 to 7 times exchange rate compared to RM? Will there be job opportunities for graduates like me? How often can I come back to my hometown? How about accommodation, clothing, food, transportation, etc.? …and the list goes on. I’ve thought of it. Maybe it would be insane to try UK. It’s not within my means. Not many people can actually afford it too…

The risk is significantly bigger compared to another option of mine, which is to do my industrial training at the developed neighbouring country, Singapore. I’m still very undecided….but I’m definitely grabbing the golden opportunity to get my ass out of this country. I’ve actually applied for this “training abroad” program and am expected to attend two rounds of interviews before everything is confirmed. Yes! I repeat….I have written down my name for the selection of students to do industrial training abroad. However, I have yet to decide on which country to go to. I’ve thought of New Zealand and Australia as well. Hmmm…. decisions!! Aiiihhh….

I’m not being negative but I really don’t know whether I stand a chance to do my training abroad or not. If not, I could just do it locally. BUT, there’s this thing in me that I never like to forego any opportunities that come my way. I don’t bloody care whether I could get it or not. I’m just going to try my best, as I don’t want to regret later. Damn. Am I too obsessed with the idea of training abroad and my childhood dreams? I can't stop myself from thinking about it. Which country should I apply for? Have I gone crazy? Aihhh....