Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Psst…Cheapskate pad, anyone??

Yes. Don’t be surprised! I’m really talking about pads, the one women use for a few days on every month during the flow of strawberry jam. So, you’ve heard of famous brands like Kotex and Whisper, the one promoted by Amber Chia. But this one that I’m going to talk about is an extremely cheapskate pad, with some kind of so-called pleasant scent. It has no wings, no side gathers, and no instant-absorbent stuff, nothing besides causing leakage! Before I go further about this, just have a look at the pictures below.


The cheapskate pad. Would you consider using it??


Do the words printed on the plastic itself look like the strawberry jam stained on the cheapskate pad??


So, what do you think? Does it really look like a pad?? Haha…It’s not a pad actually. Just look like one. That’s why I labeled it as cheapskate. Recently, I managed to find some spare time to go back to civilization amidst the seriousness of the haze and also my busy schedule. So, we (my family) decided to have dinner at Jasmine Garden Cafeteria, located opposite YMCA. The place is quite famous for affordable yet delicious home-cooked food. Ok, I’m not going to elaborate more on the place, as my focus is more on the pad.

I realized that every time after we finished our meal at Chinese restaurants, we would get some kind of scented wet tissue, packed in a small plastic packet. So, do you use it? I’m not against wet tissues but scented wet tissues??? Think again (apply some basic science knowledge please!). The scent actually comes from some cheap brands of perfume, sprayed onto the wet tissues. Still can’t get the idea?? Ok, look…what’s the main purpose of the wet tissue?? It’s for hygiene’s sake. You may use the wet tissue to wipe here and there after you’re done with a sumptuous meal. But if you were to use a scented wet tissue to wipe here and there, particularly your mouth and hands, wouldn’t it be ‘dirty’? Just imagine, the atoms and molecules inside the wet tissues attract and bind together with those of the perfume. The wet tissue might be clean but the perfume is NOT. So, the presumably clean wet tissue is actually ‘dirty’ especially if sprayed with some cheapskate or even branded perfume.

Ok, now do you get what I’m trying to point out here?? NO??? Gosh!! It’s so sad to know that you don’t even have basic science knowledge in your bloody coconut brain!! Too bad…that just makes me feel much better, much smarter than you!! Can’t accept the fact?? Ok, just go and bang your coconut head against the wall for three times. Believe me, you might be 0.1 % smarter than before. Haha…

Merdeka!

It's 11.16pm now. It's still not too late to celebrate the day our country achieved independence huh? Anyway, this is the flag that I made myself, forced to draw and colour it by some idiots from my faculty. I was supposed to post this flag together with this article but the lousy labs in my uni has some kinda problems...damn




*Yea, I know...this flag doesn't look like the original one, but I made an effort to draw and colour it. What have you done??? Blah...

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Can you spell F-O-R-E-P-L-A-Y???

While waiting to enter The Giant Penguin’s class, we (me and 2 other course mates, one male, one female) gossiped about the latest rumor. The hot topic was about a student who was allegedly raped by an unknown intruder last week.

Course mate 1: Eh, u guys know or not?? A huan na poh got raped recently!
Me: Really?? When did that happen?
Course mate 1: Heard that it happened last week…so, u girls better be careful….yadda, yadda, yadda….
Me: Hey, I’m really curious as to how that pervert got the girl prepared for the whole thing in such a short period of time. He has to settle her fast. Don’t tell me he straightaway entered her dry sister??? His little brother will definitely suffer…
Course mate 2: Rape means rape la… prepare for what??? (This statement proves pure innocence and ignorance)
Me: (trying to explain or rather describe in a polite way)…BUT it’s gonna be painful for both of them…errrr….u know what I mean right??
Course mate 2: Means what?? I thought that the girl is the only one in pain???
Me:…aiya, u just think and apply some basic science and psychological knowledge la. U’ll get what I mean…
Course mate 1: Yalar, I also don’t understand. U mean the guy will also experience pain??
Me: Ehh…u’re a guy and u don’t know this??? OMG!!!
Me: Ok, just recall back the chapter on frictions that we studied in our Physics class previously. If we rub 2 materials together, those materials would be worn out after rubbing for quite some time right?? So, need to make the rubbing smooth so that the materials won’t experience much friction. It’s just the same like the story of the girl who got raped. (OMG!! I can’t believe I used this concept to explain!!)
Course mate 2: (With a dumb look) I still don’t quite understand la…if sure to feel the pain then why that rapist wanna rape her wor??
Me: That’s why I said he needed to prepare her…
Course mate 1: How to prepare??? What is there to prepare la?? U talk nonsense!
Me: Prepare the girl so that she’s properly lubricated…not much pain to both parties.
Course mate 2: Ha mi si lubricated?? (Ha mi si = ‘What is…’ in Hokkien)
Me: …..
Course mate 1: Ehh…rape case only la, why so ma huan eh?? (Ma huan = troublesome)
Me: It’s called FOREPLAY la, the usual prerequisite to sex! (Damn! Initially, I wanted to be polite and don’t want to corrupt the innocent and very ignorant people’s brain with this word, but I’ve got no choice but to say it out!)
Course mate 2: Ha mi si foreplay???
Me: Hahahahhaa... Forget about what I said la…(still laughing)
Course mate 1 & 2: Oi, tell la…ha mi si foreplay???
Me: Long story… LOL

Useless piece of shit

Even though I confess that I’ve changed a lot, into a much better person in one of my previous posts, I just can’t resist posting this online. What a sin. Oh God, please forgive me. I know it’s bad to cuss but I’m almost reaching the end stage of my level of patience. So, I guess it’d be better for me to start cussing him here rather than to explode in front of him, shooting directly at his face. Yes, I used to be like that, shooting anything I don’t like directly, straight at a particular person. But now, I limit myself to just do that in here, by blogging and telling the whole world about bitches and bastards in my life.

As usual, I had a meeting with 2 other team members of my business plan competition just now. The other 2 were not free. So, we just continued with whatever that has been discussed the other day. This time SY and I brought along our laptops. (SY was formerly known as Shadow. I sort of formed an alliance with her ever since realizing that she has after all grown a little bit smarter this semester! Haha…oops, today’s topic is not about her) So, we had our discussion in the library, with the Internet access using the LAN cable. There were 5 books for reference too.

Since that I’m the leader of the team, a.k.a. the CEO or Managing Director, I planned and assigned each one of us there with different tasks. Both SY and I were in charged with some important aspects of the business plan. So, we had to retrieve as much information as possible from the Internet, and then gather all of them to analyze and synthesize. As for the other team member, he is a course mate an acquaintance a dickhead. Let’s call him Mr. All-talk-no-action. This prick was given the simplest task to do, considering that he might be struggling and suffering if he were given a much more complicated task to do. Well, I’ve got no choice but to give him the easiest task on earth to do since that he has an extremely low no analytical skills and is also allergic to words, particularly books written in English.

So, all this dickhead needed to do was to skim through those 5 books, note down all the important facts or points and pass them to me. But Mr. All-talk-no-action, who is also famous for his never-ending senseless excuses, gave me 1001 excuses. He said that those books are lousy…which means I’m lousy at choosing books coz I was the one who spent 3 farking hours to choose those books! He said that those books are too thick and some more in English… which means that his all-the-while-fake-efforts-of-trying-so-hard-to-learn to speak and improve English ended up being, flushed away in the toilet bowl! No wonder he can’t even understand, speak or write in English. Padan muka!

His next excuse was that he was really tired, can’t concentrate. WTF?? I slept at 3 something the night before and woke up as early as 6.30am but I didn’t complain anything also. This farker slept at 11pm the night before but still make a big fuss! Other than that, he also complained that he was hungry and couldn’t think without food. It was half past one, and we just had our lunch but he still complained of being hungry??? KNN…I know what he wants! He’s the type that likes to ‘tumpang makan’. As long as there’s someone to treat him to a free meal, he’ll definitely be there! He even reminded me before that if I were to become a real CEO or a successful corporate woman one of these days, make sure I don’t forget to benefit him. What a loser!! Would you call a farker like this a gentleman??? He doesn’t act, look, or even sound like a man to me!!

After 2 hours, both SY and I managed to come out with lots of information, which we later gathered and synthesized them. As for that dickhead, he had only written ONE bloody sentence that has got nothing to do with our project. What a real farker!! When I finally told him the good news, “You may go back now, we can handle the things here…” he pretended to be very responsible, committed and extra hardworking. He said that he couldn’t leave the both of us just like that, leaving everything for us to do. I was initially surprised with what he said, but his presence was rather useless. All he did was, he sat on the opposite side of the table, facing me, looking at SY and me while we both were busy skimming those books. Farking shit! That’s commitment??? Yeah rite, thanks for staring at us, OHHH…. you really boost up our confidence and helped a lot!!!

Mr. All-talk-no-action has been a real useless, annoying idiot ever since the previous semester. Want to get to know him??? Read more…

  • He’s a self-centered dickhead. If something goes wrong, he’ll definitely be the first one to disappear. Very kiasu and kiasi!

  • He’s money-eyed. Even 10sen means a lot to him. Try to give a 10sen coin to the beggars at the Snakes Temple in Penang and see what happens to you. You’ll probably get a free coin ‘chop’ on your face, as the 10sen would be thrown back at you. I bet he joined my team for the business plan project for the sake of the grand prize of RM3000. How possible it is to even get the consolation prize when he hasn’t done anything productive??

  • He can only afford single tasking. When he’s thinking desperately on ways to fark attract a girl, who is a junior from the same faculty, he cannot be doing or thinking about something else at the same time. If I were that girl, I will NEVER choose him! A lousy guy like him cannot be paired to angels.

  • He likes freebies. He likes free meals. He likes to use other peoples’ things for free, e.g. books, laptop. He reminded everyone in class that his birthday is coming and that his badly torn bag needs to be substituted.

  • He is similar to his nickname, Mr. All-talk-no-action. He loves to give millions of suggestions and ideas but none of those he mentioned can become a reality in projects or assignments.

  • He’s a bad time planner. If you plan to have a meeting at 9am, make sure you inform him that the meeting starts at 8 or 8.30am.

  • He’s always a beneficiary when it comes to group work, projects or assignments. This is because this farker depends 101% on the other teammates in the group. He only does his part (which usually consists of useless craps), and couldn’t even be bothered to help and cooperate with the rest to improve a particular group work.

  • He’s pretentious. He always pretend to be very understanding, helpful, committed, responsible, and blah, blah, blah…

  • He’s lazy. He believes that once he is done with something, he’ll never check or do something extra to improve it.

  • He’s inquisitive, but in a lame and stupid way. He asks lots of silly questions, which answers can be found in the textbooks.

  • He has problems with chairs. He can never sit still for a long period of time. That makes it difficult to force him to sit still and do everything needed for my current project.

  • He will never be able to improve his standard of English if he continues to be like this. He once asked me for the tips to write and speak better English. I gave him a few tips but instead of changing his bloody attitude and follow my tips, he gave me 1001 excuses! So, congratulations for the stagnated standard of poor command of English! His Bahasa standard is just as bad as his English.

  • He’s the king of lame excuses. When he doesn’t want to or doesn’t feel like doing something, he’ll come up with excuses that you might not even think of or heard before.

  • He’s stingy. He has NEVER bought any textbooks ever since the first semester. Not even important textbooks. He only goes around begging for other people’s books.

  • He loves to brag. He always boasts to the whole class that a particular subject is easy to score when he has finished revising or is already prepared for an exam. But he still ends up as one of those with the lowest marks in class.

  • He’s short. He’s shorter than me even when I’m not wearing heels. Poor guy. No wonder he got so frustrated and couldn’t pay attention to what we discussed in the meeting when that junior that he has interest in accidentally forgot about their ‘date’.

  • He thinks he’s very handsome just because some people have commented that he looks a LITTLE bit like Kwon Sang Woo, a Korean heartthrob who starred in the drama, Stairway to Heaven.

  • He’s a so-called sleeping beauty. He told me that he needs a minimum of 7 hours sleep daily. WTF?? I’m the sleeping queen but nowadays, I feel much contented with only 4 to 5 hours of sleep!

  • He’s a very good ‘kaypo auntie’ with his bloody ‘loud speakers’. NEVER tell him any secret or story coz his mouth might just spill everything you told him to anyone he meets. But, he’s definitely a potential spy as he’s a good ‘kaypo auntie’, who always walks around talking to ‘kaypo-ing’ around people.

  • He cannot accept criticisms, especially from someone of the same ‘rank’ or standard with him. He hates it when SY, who attends the same English class with him comments on his summary. (Luckily, I don’t need to attend any English classes! It would be hell to attend the same English class with him as he’ll definitely ask me lots of questions, assuming that I know EVERY single word in the dictionary…Damn, I’m not a walking dictionary ok!)

Gosh!!! How could I??? I’ve written cussed for as long as 3 pages using the Microsoft Words! WOW!! I think I better stop here before I become a cussing devil! Haha…



Monday, August 22, 2005

WTF???

That day, I spent 3 hours to discuss about the business plan competition with 4 other team members, of whom 3 are my course mates and the other member is a lecturer. After some serious discussions about the strategies to include in our plan, we went out of topic. We talked and gossiped on lots of things. When we were complaining about the terrible food in the jungle, Mr. Lecturer suddenly asked whether I was Bulimic. I was dumbstruck! What made he think of me as bulimic?? Was it because of my extra, obvious chubby face being not suitable or proportioned to my body size?? And the point is, was he actually complimenting or commenting??? Well, most bulimic girls have nicely shaped and toned body. So, did he mean that??? Or was he simply trying to point that I was actually a big-sized girl but the fact that I manage to shrink myself into the baju kurung I wore yesterday gave him a big shock??? Or what he actually meant was that I was huge and looked as if I was struggling from an eating disorder???

WTF??? Siao!! Yes, call me paranoid, but I’m really curious and at the same time shocked by what he asked. BLAH…what were you thinking about?? He’s just a lecturer ok. If he were to be a potential ‘fish’ then I’ll definitely ask him directly for further explanations. Haha…

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Red+ white+ blue + yellow = waste time

Do you like those colours?? Whether you like them or not, you still have to accept those colours as the warna Jalur Gemilang. Every year, particularly during the month of August, everyone those lousy-nothing-else-better-to-do people would show their love for our country in a stupid way. Just because Pak Lah said we must fly the national flag, that doesn’t mean that we need to make or produce a flag by ourselves!

So, tell me, what are the advantages of producing (drawing and colouring) our national flag??? Do I become much more smarter? NO. Do I feel proud and happy to be a Malaysian just because I draw and paint the flag?? No. As I need not be proud and happy just because of producing a national flag by myself. Do I become much more patriotic??? NO coz I won’t be able to instill patriotism in myself in such a lousy way. Besides, I think I’m patriotic enough and I believe that patriotism should come from the heart, and not by forcing people to draw and colour the flag.

You know, maybe it’s a fact that lousy people has got a different ‘chip’ in his or her brain! If not, I wouldn’t be forced to draw and colour an A4 size, two-sided national flag by my faculty. Just because it’s compulsory, I wasted 3 farking hours doing it. I could have read lots of chapters, finished my assignments, thought about more strategies for my business plan competition, slept and entered dreamland to meet my Mr.Right, daydreamed and blah, blah, blah with those 2 hours!! Damn…I could even blog more than 5 articles in those 3 hours!

Now only I understand why our govt is struggling to instill patriotism in the younger generations. It’s because lousy people kept coming out with the same old suggestion of drawing and painting our national flag, like as if that idea really works! Besides, I realized that many people don’t really know the actual meaning of flying a flag. Last year, I saw a man ‘menyidai bendera’ instead of mengibarkan bendera. So, are we showing our respect to our country’s flag simply by just ‘hanging’ a flag outside our house or anywhere else?? It’s really a shame to know that most people don’t even know how many red and white stripes our flag has.

Lousy so-called patriotic people! Ptuii…at least I dare to say that I’m patriotic and that I’m clear with the background of Malaysia and also the national flag itself even though I don’t walk around with ‘bendera yang digantung’ and not bendera yang dikibarkan. Thanks to the uniform society that I joined back in Secondary school. What?? You still can’t differentiate the meaning of ‘menyidai’, ‘menggantung’ and ‘mengibar’??? Awww…poor thing! You must have flunked your BM paper in the SPM… Maybe, you should carry a Kamus Dewan along each time you visit the toilet for a chocolate cake business, memorize everything until you are done with the cake production. C’mon, you’re a Malaysian but you don’t even know how to speak simple BM??? Shame on you…

*Actually, I have the pics of my flag but this bloody lab has got some problems. Damn...so, I'll just post up this article without the pics. Maybe some other time ok...

Monday, August 15, 2005

Imported all the way from Indo

What else could I be talking about if it were not the haze lovely weather, brought to us by our lovely neighbour? Well, everyone seems to be blogging, commenting and criticizing about the issue. So, I guess I should join the gang and say a big THANK YOU to the ‘special gift’ given annually by our beloved neighbour.

Even though the condition has slightly improved, I wouldn’t stop myself from adding extra comments toward this ‘bad air’ issue! Oh c’mon, why is it that they must give us such a big ‘present’ every year?? And all they can do is to apologize, saying umpteen times that they are very sorry. ‘Sorry no cure lah!’

It’s not that I’m going against the country, but why is it that whatever that happens over there will surely have its after-effect on Malaysia?? Just like the case of tsunami, the earthquake and this annual haze issue. Can’t they just do something to prevent the haze problem from recurring each year? Oh ya, I forgot, they really can’t do anything coz that country is currently over-populated with nincompoops!

Stupid haze. Haze, haze, go away, come again another day please don’t ever come again, so that everyone won’t suffer from hazy brain! (OMG!! This sounds so lame! Can’t imagine that I actually post this up!)

Ok. Before I continue, I’d like to say THANK YOU again to the indons. A big round of applause please! Because of them, the haze is here. Because of the haze, I risk my lungs and brain to inadequate supply of oxygen, which might cause a few seconds of brain malfunction, which might actually lead to pure stupidity like the indons. Because of the haze, my already so-cannot-make-it looks becomes worse with more breakouts eruptions. Because of the haze, I get tired and sleepy easily. Because of the haze, I can’t enjoy the panoramic view of the jungle. Because of the haze, I can’t open my eyes wide enough to generate some basic electrocutions due to extreme dryness, especially when I’m wearing contact lenses. Because of the haze, I can’t enjoy the aromatherapy treatment in the comfort of my room. Stupid haze. Stupid people.

To make it worse, there are lots of similar stupidities in the jungle too. There are farkers who just can’t live without the bloody supply of tobaccos. You can hear them complaining about the haze, but then they still smoke. What’s so good about smoking huh?? It might be cool but for goodness sake, after you smoke, brush your teeth or treat yourselves with some Mentos! It’s so damn bloody choking to talk to anyone who has just smoked. The suffocating smells from the smokers’ mouth are just so appalling that a question pop up in my head. How can women tolerate the smell and even get aroused by men who don’t practice oral cleanliness?? GOSH!! I think I would definitely die first faster if I were stuck to a smoking man! Haha…

Anyway, I shall add some of my own ideas or tips to support the haze prevention issue. Have you got any suggestions? Feel free to add yours in the comments column…

  • Ride a bicycle instead of driving a car?? No motorbikes too…


  • Control yourself and try not to fart??


  • Say NO to open burning??? This means that you CAN’T burn your ASSignments, Hell notes or any other praying items in conjunction with the Hungry Ghosts Festival, and blah, blah, blah…


  • No smoking please!! If you simply can’t resist that ‘stick of tobacco death’, please go and die far, far away. I don’t want to die yet! Thanks for helping dying...


Thursday, August 11, 2005

Busy, busy, busy

Lately, I’ve been very, very busy. Well, maybe it’s just a way to stop and prevent myself from thinking or even worrying about crappy problems. So, I keep myself busy with a lot of books to read, assignments and projects. I even joined a business plan competition organized by a public listed company. Even though I have lots of things to do, I will still spend some time to blog, which is a very effective way of expressing myself. :) I guess this blogging thingy has already become a part of my life. Yes!! I got myself addicted to blogging. Isn’t that good? It’s just like being addicted to vodka and cheesecakes. Mmmm….*salivate*

Now, I just wanna complain about the same old thing that I’ve been complaining about ever since my first semester. I NEED 36 HOURS A DAY!! I got myself too busy until I’ve to sacrifice my sleeping time. Well, maybe it’s just very true that nothing would turn out successful if there weren’t any sacrifice made. So, I’ll just have to sacrifice my precious sleeping time, until I have to risk my youthfulness, making myself suffering from premature ageing! GOSH!!! I won’t be surprised if I were to look like a 40 years old auntie when I reach the age of a quarter of the century! Haha…

Oh ya! I just realized something. It’s easily defined in an equation…


1 day of class in the jungle = 2 weeks of shopping in KL



Awww…poor legs! Looks like my legs prefer to shop in KL than to walk around the campus. Maybe I should consider pampering myself by going shopping since that the Malaysian Mega Sales Promotion has already started. Yeah! Talking about shopping, I also realized that it’s a good way to release tension. Well, I guess I’ll blog about that some other time.

Ok, back to my assignments…

Sunday, August 07, 2005

Do you shave??

After attending a half-day seminar at my faculty on Friday, I decided to go to the newly opened, one storey shopping complex lousy hypermart which is located at a nearby small town. So, I dragged two friends along. And bought lots of things.

As we were heading toward the cashier, my close friend, Mickey suddenly stopped.

Tiramisu: Eh! Why suddenly stop? Still got other things to buy is it?
Mickey: Yea, I wanted to buy something but can’t seem to find it.
Tiramisu: What’s that? Maybe I can help to search for it.
Mickey: That hair removal thing lar. I wanna try…
Tiramisu: Haha…you finally decided to try that thing! (Started searching).
Mickey: I don’t think they have it here. Maybe it’s a fact that the Kedahans do not shave their bloody hairy legs!

(Next time, when you see some chicks with extremely hairy legs, I bet they’re from Kedah! =P)





Stupid me!





I bought an incense burner, the tea light candles and the preferred essential oil to treat myself with a relaxing moment of aromatherapy. Sounds cool right? …but there’s something missing! I don’t have a lighter or a matchbox!! Spoil my mood only!! Damn, I just hate it when I forget to buy something! @#*%$!@#!$*%$!#@#*$%!!




Thursday, August 04, 2005

Room alone

It has been a week like that. I’m all alone in a small room for two. My new roommate has been transferred to another hostel after she became one of my university’s representative in the swimming event in sports. At first, I was really excited and couldn’t wait to enjoy the privilege of occupying the whole room. But now, I feel weird. Extremely weird. The bed on the other side of my room is empty. I’m room alone now. I might possibly be suffering from a temporary brain malfunction for not having anyone to talk to when I’m back from class, alone in the room facing the four walls.

BLAH!! That’s the main reason I blog now. So, in other words, I’m talking in here, facing my Acer notebook, typing (talking) everything or just about anything. Hehe, I hope I’m still considered normal for talking in this way. What?? You suggest that I walk along the corridor, knock on every door and say hello to the other freshies (Is it spelled this way, the dictionary is way too far to be reached!)?? Nah!! That’s a lame idea you know. Those bitches freshies or better known as new students have been very, very arrogant. So, don’t expect a cool senior like me to greet them like a nincompoop, desperately looking and searching for zombies to talk to. Anyway, I might consider doing that, only IF I really can’t blog or talk in here.

Okies, I’ve to continue with my assignment. Brb…