Burning desires

I want something very badly. I seriously want to get it. I must go there. No matter how, die die must get it but money can't buy me what I want. Gosh! I guess I would probably become even more desperate in that sense in a few months time. Gahhh....

I've been thinking so much about this until I cannot take it anymore. Just hope that blogging could help to ease my brain a bit.

Damn. The repetition is making me even more desperate! ...but I'm going to say it again. I WANT IT BADLY. I really need it. I will go crazy if I don't get it. So I have to make sure I get it. *Crosses fingers*

Stepping Out II

How often do you reflect on yourself and recall on certain things you once did or said? The inner voice in you would say, "Gosh! That was so stupid of me. A little too naive, huh?" and you would eventually start to laugh at your own stupidity.

I had a recollection on certain things recently and it occured to me that, I've learned to laugh at myself and grow with the progress of life. Yes, all those things may seem to reflect on one's stupidity, and I dare to admit that at certain stage of our lives, we tend to do stupid things. Well, we thought it was right but with all the mistakes done in the past, we eventually outgrow stupidity and mould a new, stronger and much different character we have today. I'm glad to have navigated through the storm with a strong faith to become who I am today.

Previously, I blogged about stepping out. It's true that each time a problem arises, there's a contest between faith and fear. If you have faith, there will be a way out coz you choose to step out of the problem and fight against fear. But, when you're afraid of criticisms, failures and losing pride/face, you will lose faith and the problem is left unsolved. You'll never progress until the day you die. I got this inspiring message of stepping out from a source that has helped me to overcome problems over the past one year. I hope you could find the strength I found.

The journey of life is much more important than the destination itself. It will shape who you will be when you're finally there. You will need to learn and grow throughout the journey, embracing uncertainties before you could reach the final destination. So which do you prefer? To be progressive or to be hiding in the comfort shell of guilty conscience? The choice is yours. Try taking these few simple steps and hopefully, you will be able to encounter happiness and a peace of mind as your problems and worries will be lifted off your shoulders.

1) Recollection. Reflect on the right and wrong things you did/said.
2) Learn to laugh at yourself regarding the mistakes you made in the past.
3) Repentance. Grow and change into a better person. Step out of the mistake/problem.
4) Vow. Promise yourself you will not repeat the same mistake ever again.
5) Keep your words and have faith in yourself. Nothing is impossible.

Anyways, I received a mail from a friend some time ago and I guess it's worth sharing. This mail conveys an inspiring message and it has truly brighten up my day. :)

A woman knelt in prayer, and in anguish cried out to God:

"Dear Lord, I can't compete in this world. I am just a simple woman. I don't have perfect hair or perfect teeth, a perfect smile or a perfect figure. I want so much to fit in with this world that asks for perfection. I want to be loved and appreciated and needed. Oh God, please do something. Change me."

"My dear child," replied the Lord, "to Me you are simply wonderful. I accept you just as you are. I knew you even when you were in your mother's womb, and I have you engraved upon the palm of My hand. Each part of you was created in My image. And I am changing you, daily.

"But you see, I work differently than the world. I work from the inside out. And deep within your heart, I see the beginning of... perfection."

Life is unpredictable

Yesterday, I had a shock when I heard the latest news about a girl at Uni. A senior student had committed suicide in the toilet of her hostel block on Sunday morning. I don't know her but according to rumours, she has been suffering from depression and mental disorders for the past two semesters.

It's really a waste for a person to make such a foolish decision. Suicide should never be an option in anyone's life. The girl's sudden death made me realise something and I guess it's worth sharing. You peeps should seriously consider this too.

"You'll never know what's going to happen to yourself tomorrow, so take this opportunity to cherish everything you have, your loved ones, family and also friends."

Count your blessings! (I got this from a website)

Count your blessings instead of your crosses;
Count your gains instead of your losses.

Count your joys instead of your woes;
Count your friends instead of your foes.

Count your smiles instead of your tears;
Count your courage instead of your fears.

Count your full years instead of your lean;
Count your kind deeds instead of your mean.

Count your health instead of your wealth;
Love your neigbour as much as yourself.

Boredom does influence one's mood

I know I'm supposed to sleep early since I'm going back to the jungle tomorrow but I'm not sleepy yet. With the bad/slow internet connection, I can't seem do not anything I want, let alone chat with peeps I know. Gahhh....this is so frustrating.

Nothing to do --> Find things to do --> Nothing else to do besides going online --> Bad/slow connection --> Frustration --> Boredom --> Bad mood

Does that make any sense? Maybe I should blame it on imbalanced hormones.

I've completed five out of six. One more semester to go and it's the end of the whole thing. Gosh. See how fast time flies?

Damn. When you're a tad moody, it really isn't the right time to blog. I'm off! Ciao.

A new template for 2007

Gosh! It actually took me almost an hour to click the damn button to change to this new template. I was contemplating whether to change or not, and without realising how fast time flies, an hour is gone! So bloody fickle-minded. Women.

Anyways, how do you find this new template? Hehe...I was thinking, I need a change and...BOOM...I really changed this whole blog template and the cat's gone. Hehe.

So, I just hope that with this new look and the other changes I made, I'll be able to put the big load of worries and sadness behind me while I continue walking down this path heading towards the destination I want to be, and simultaneously seeking adequate dose of happiness. Bleh. I am so greedy. Sounds complicated? I guess so.

Oh yea, do join me for some yoga exercise here. Hehe. Till then, see ya!

The beginning

It's just the third day into 2007, but with big moderate hopes, this will be a good year to a new beginning. I will need to strategize and focus on important things towards the right direction. The final destination could still be far away, but with each small step taken, the accumulated little effort will get me there.

This year is significantly important. Everything would be different as 2007 indicates a milestone in my life. It's going to be a busy year with lots of things to do...and more things to think about. I would be occupied with my final sem projects. I will officially start work and I seriously need to consider the path I want to thread for the next few years. This year would also be the starting point to my long-planned investment strategies. Apart from that, I need to master some skills in financial planning. So from now on, the calculator and bankers would possibly become one of my closest friends. LOTS of things to do and to ponder upon...

But, before getting too excited over all that, I got a good news. Still remember my "dear" roommate? I won the battle against her, finally! I checked the students' portal and it is stated clearly that she's going to stay in another room, albeit the same hostel block. HAhaha...Glad I wrote that three-page complaint letter to the hostel principal. Now, there's something else to worry about. Who's going to be my new roommate? Gahhh...hopefully she's not worse than that fat bitch. I hope I won't get a sudden heart attack when I see her this Saturday.

*Continues thinking of other important things*

There's a saying in Cantonese, "Hey mong yud tai, satt mong yud tai", which means the bigger the hope, the bigger the disappointment. I know the road I'm threading isn't going to be a smooth one and I'm playing with too much of risks at this age, but with lots of effort, determination and faith, I believe I will reach the final destination someday... But for now, I will have to settle for a much smaller hope, a moderate one that could transport me to where I want to be. See you there!

Last year's shadow

With mixed feelings, I'm finally here...it's 2007 already! Just hope that a new year would be a good start to everything. Even though I managed to ditched some very bad experiences behind in 2006, I forgot that I have illegally brought some memories (bad and good ones) into 2007.

2006 was both a good and a bad year to me.

The good things: I had good relationships with family and friends. I got an A for the much feared Law paper. My CGPA improved. I read a lot of books/articles. I learned a lot of things. I gained lots of knowledge and experiences. I started viewing everything from different perspectives of life be it good or bad. I'm clear of what I really want in life. In short, I'm much better than the old me when I just started blogging.

The bad things: I lost someone who left a very big impact on my life...I had no choice but to let him go. I broke a few people's hearts and I was left broken hearted too. I cried on my birthday. I criticized my roommate too much. I spent too much on unnecessary things. I worried too much. I made myself even more complicated than before. I became even more sarcastic, unknowingly. I was too emotional throughout the year. I strayed away a few times from my spiritual belief.

Resolutions? Oh well...it's the usual stuff. I'm not going to be specific but I'm glad to declare that I want to be back on track. I need to do all I can to materialise the personal dreams I listed. Apart from that, I need to focus on career too coz I'll be entering another chapter of life. I'm graduating this year and will start work in a few months time. Wow...

I have lots of things to pour out actually...but since it's just the first two days of 2007, I'll keep them for some other time. Anyways, Happy New Year to everyone here. May all of you be blessed with success, happiness, health, wealth, love, etc.