Bad day, bad luck

Today's the worst day I've ever had since the first day of 2007. Four words to describe the things happened to me from morning till now. Bad day, Bad luck!

It all started when I walked to my faculty for a discussion with my group members. It was about 11am when I suddenly realised that I'm actually a quite clumsy girl. I fell down, again! (This is the third or fourth time since I entered Uni! Ahhhh!!) This time, it's not the fault of a staircase or potholes but thanks to the huge rock there! Gahh...

I thought I was just clumsy but no...it's not about that. It's just that today's a real bad day for me. After a short discussion, a group member noticed that my bag was wet. I opened my bag, only to find it flooded. Thanks to my water bottle. Everything was soaked wet, my wallet, umbrella, bread, everything! Thankfully the Ipod and hp are still functioning well.

The bad luck didn't just stop there. I spent more than an hour just to wait for a lecturer, who had forgotten with the appointment I made. I didn't even have the time to go for lunch. Then, I realised my thumb drive got infected with virus again. Next, I had to restart this computer I'm using at the lab now for more than five times before I could finally log on the internet. Not only that, the bloody computer automatically shut down for a few times before I could finally use it. Ahhhh....

Guess it's time to go back to my room before more bad things happen! Ciao.

. . .

You know, at times I do wonder whether is it really so good to be different as compared to the others around me. I'm not complaining nor am I disatisfied with myself. It's just that, at times everything around us can be so confusing.

We're often aware of the ugly realities of life, but we choose to shut our ears and stay in the comfort of self-denial, sometimes just by being naive or acting dumb, thinking that we won't be a part of the ugliness...but no matter how much I ignore it, I still can't stop myself from seeing or even hearing about the ugly sides of life. I know I can't run away from the ugliness around me but one seriously need a big strength and faith to continue life while being surrounded by such things.

Greed and temptation are indeed man's two worst weaknesses. I'm truly ashamed that another friend of mine gave in to those weaknesses and joined many other bastards in honour. Even though it has nothing to do with me, I somehow feel that what he told me has indeed affected my mood. The world can sometimes be an ugly and dirty place. I do not wish to be reminded on that. All the things I've heard, seen and experienced over the months and years can truly justify what I just said. It is indeed an ugly place. I probably need shades to cover my eyes from seeing more. I'm getting sick and tired with all that. Enough is enough.

Updates

I have lots of things to blog about but I was too busy for the past two weeks and I am still as busy as ever. Gahh. Anyway, just a release for the gazillion things in my rojak-ed brain, I seriously need to blog...erm, maybe just a few sentences for each topic.

***

Family support has always been the instant booster to one's mood. I'm glad Mum is actually encouraging me to go "there" and work. Well, Mum being Mum, I know she'll probably change her mind again, but for now, I'm happy to hear what she just said. :)

***

I guess it runs in the family blood because I hate apple polishers too. I despise people who would lick balls just for the sake of getting a moronic lecturer's attention in order to get a better grade in class. Ohh...losers are aplenty!

***

A male course mate who is a quite good friend of mine at Uni is showing some signs. Damn. I hate it when my radar detects anyone at unwanted times. I mean, I enjoy his company and am thankful that he has helped a lot but friends being friends, he's just not what I'm looking for. In fact, I'm not looking for anyone at the moment...so how do I show that I'm not interested? Gahhh....I hate this. I don't want to spoil our friendship!

***

I fell in love with a condo unit. I'm dead! Long-term commitment with a bank might start real soon!! Ahhh... *wakes up from dream* Alright! One day of day-dreaming is good enough. It is way too expensive. I can't afford it yet...will definitely buy one soon but not at this moment. *sobs*

***

My supervisor has approved my final year project's proposal. Phew. Now the report itself will get me too occupied until I won't have much time left to eat, sleep or even shit!

***

Time is passing at a fast-forwarded speed. It's the fourth week of my final semester now. Part of me is excited with the idea of ending my student life to join the workforce. Another side of me feels a little sad that I'm going to leave the jungle, (Gosh! I'm actually a bit fond of Uni already. Can't blame me coz I've been there since 2004!) and also my friends. Hmm...mixed feelings.

I think I better stop here before I continue yakking on other inane stuffs. Ciao.

Love versus money

A few years ago while doing Form Six, we were supposed to present an impromptu speech in class and the given title was the ever-boring "My ambition". When it was my classmate’s turn, she said, “My ambition is to marry a rich man!” and beamed with pride. I personally think it was a stupid idea and it was obviously humiliating for a six former to have such a lousy target…but her answer was understandable, as it has long been debated that money has a great linkage with love. These days, many women are said to marry for money or even date an ATM machine, if you know what I mean here.

There’s this girl staying at my hostel block who is obviously a good example. There have been hot rumors about how she got this rich man’s son to be her boyfriend, let’s call him Fatty for easy reference. I don’t know whether the story about her is true or not, but I’ll just tell what I heard. After all, her story is just a prelude to what I’m going to say.

Fatty spent lots of money and time to finally win her heart. She didn’t say yes because of Fatty’s efforts. She finally agreed to be his girlfriend after traveling all the way to Malacca (Fatty’s hometown) to check on his family’s background…erm, financial status. Fatty happens to be a super rich man’s son. From that time on, there’s no turning back. She has been with him for a few semesters now. She enjoys free rides back to Penang (her hometown) coz Fatty is currently her official chauffer. The rest of her story is pretty obvious.

That time, I really couldn’t understand why she agreed to date Fatty. Frankly speaking, who doesn’t like money? Everyone loves money especially express cash and that includes me! I know it’s beneficial to date a rich man’s son but why not date a rich man instead? It was really logical to think that way back then…but when I had my fair share of experience, I realized that I would love lots of money only if I earned them by myself.

To cut a long story short, I dated a guy some time ago without knowing his financial background. His casual dressing, messy hair and humble character belied the number of digits in his bank accounts. After two weeks, I was shocked when I found out that he’s actually a self-made millionaire. All the while, I thought it would be cool to date a super rich guy who also has some of the qualities I look for in a man...until I met this guy, my thoughts changed.

Initially, it was quite fun dating him but after some time, I realized it wasn’t comfortable at all to date someone who was constantly on phone calls dealing with businesses that worth millions of Ringgit! *Gasps* You read it right. Millions of Ringgit and the latest business could fetch up to 5 Billion Ringgit! He was so rich that he could buy any car or condo with cash! It wasn’t about feeling inferior to his success, wealth or big businesses. In fact, I’m glad he taught me lots of things regarding business and the complicated people around him, something I might probably not have the opportunity to even take a peek at in my whole lifetime.

I guess psychology plays a role too. When a person is super rich and has all the power in his businesses, he tends to be manipulative. With that, I summed it up that, dating a rich man isn’t that nice actually. Most of them have this kind of mindset – he pays for everything and buys anything you want, but you will have to listen to him. It isn’t convincing at all as yours truly only has interests in win-win situations. Apart from that, I dislike being dependent on others and hate being told of what to do. I’m an advocate of gender equality. So I’m proud to say that I still prefer to earn my targeted net worth by myself, even if I had to tread bumpy roads just to reach the final destination.

I don’t understand why certain girls could lower down their integrity and place dignity aside just for the sake of instant wealth. This is such a disgrace to the female population. We have the ability to get the things we want by ourselves, so why should we depend on other people? I was thinking, if I could walk down the road to financial freedom by myself, why should I date/marry an ATM machine? …but I guess financial stability will still remain as one of the requirements for eligible bachelors! Hehehe…

Why are cows stupid and will remain so for the rest of their lives

I seriously hate to deal with cows. Oh no, don’t get me wrong. I don’t hate them but I just dislike having anything to do with them. These cows that are obviously brainless, do everything in a stupid way that will leave an impact on your mood. Yes, you got it right! BAD MOOD.

All the while, I thought it was some other reasons that the cows are still so lousy even until today, but guess I found the right answer to the long asked question. The cows just love to do stupid non-beneficial things before focusing on some other important things. They prefer to enjoy life first before having to slog to death. That clearly explains why they’re still so useless even until this very moment of the day. Forgive me for despising them!

Apart from hating to deal with cows, I hate to be forced to participate in non-beneficial activities. I mean, what’s the point of paying RM50 just to attend a two-day-one-night activity at another secluded place with lots of trees, mosquitoes and monkeys, a place that doesn’t even have telecommunication coverage? If it was a talk by some big shots regarding something interesting, or a workshop related to my final year project (FYP), then I would definitely be the first to register but it wasn’t. It’s just a typical out of campus activity organized by cows. So, what do we do there? Stupid things like, jungle trekking (Yes, I know it’s fun BUT I should be busy with my FYP rather than walking around with monkeys!), an impromptu stage performance by the participants (Obviously a waste of time! I’m already an Oscar-winning actress in my heart!), a motivational talk by Encik Tiada Siapa Kenal (I’m obviously too motivated to listen to him!), eat, sleep, shit, blah, blah, blah.

Isn’t that a waste of time and money? With RM50, I could splurge on many other things I love, …erm, maybe another great book, a brand new high heels or simply a treat to a meal for my family. Actually, I’m not complaining about the cash I have to pay but it’s about getting out from the jungle to get into yet another jungle that is way too ulu until the Yellow Guy of I Will Follow You from Digi’s advertisement won’t be interested to trail. Besides, I’ve got other assignments and tests coming up. So, isn’t it stupid to follow the cows blindly and be just as useless and brainless?

There are many other students who decided to join the useless activity just because 98% of the class is going. They’re obviously cowards. It occurred to me that these students probably have no strength in fighting for their rights or to have their words heard. They have no opinion, nothing to say…just follow everything blindly just to get the ever-desirable grade. No wonder we have so many local grads that can’t even get a job after graduation. The bad part is, most employers assume that every local grad is the same (including me!). Thanks to the cowards and cows for spoiling the good image of local products!

Seriously, I hate to follow what others do. Why need to tag along blindly just for the sake of pleasing the oh-so-good-but-actually-lousy lecturer? I may appear weird to the rest but who cares? I’d rather be different, by being one of the very few people who choose to focus and prioritize on other more important things than to jungle trek together with cows, penguins and monkeys. By conforming to what the others do, I’m obviously not contributing to the nation’s economy but I’m merely donating fresh blood to the mosquitoes for a free buffet treat.

Now, I’ve got a solid reason why cows are stupid and will remain so for the rest of their lives. Poor thing.

Damn. Really in a bad mood now! Don't know what to do and don't feel like doing anything also. Just don't feel right. Blame it on cows. Blame it on PMS. Blame it on no internet connection here on my notebook....stupid cheapo wifi! Grrr...

WTF? The reeking weirdo is sitting just beside me now at this computer lab! Of all places, why must he sit here?? Damn. Too smelly already. Gotta go now. Ciao.

The beginning to bad hair days

I know women are hard to please, and I'm just a good example. Bleh! Throughout my twenty over years of living, I have never been satisfied with the haircuts I get after each visit to the hair salon. Erm, okay....I was satisfied once! Only once!

With my lousy, out-of-shape and outdated hairstyle, I finally decided to get a haircut yesterday. Initially, I wanted to call the professional hairstylist (the leng chai who made me satisfied with the oh-so-hot hairstyle in 2005) for an appointment but I changed my mind at the very last minute. It would be too pricey to get a great hairstyle from him. After all, I've already planned to find this superb hairstylist for hair treatments and a new hairstyle before my convocation ceremony. So, I resorted to a cheapskate haircut by a middle age woman at a small hair salon. It was a big mistake!

The outcome? A stupid hairstyle that makes me look YEARS younger. Of course it sounds good to every woman to be able to look younger but I seriously look like an immature sixteen years old now!!! Gahhh.... I seriously need to avoid looking at myself in the mirror for the time being. Damn. This is a good indication that money speaks. By saving a few hundreds of ringgit, I get a crappy little girl's hairstyle. And I still don't understand why Dad and a male friend think my current hairstyle suits me. Gahhh.... they obviously have bad tastes, or maybe they were just trying to please yours truly so that I won't keep asking the same question of "What do you think of my hair? Ugly huh?" Hehe.

Of mothers and excessive worries

There's something I don't understand about mothers. They could get overprotective of their own kids, especially if the child is a girl. Yes, I'm referring to Mum. She hardly says no to anything Bro says or plans to do. Oh no, before you start assuming, I'm not being jealous. Neither am I complaining.

It's just that, each time when I tell Mum something I want to do, or rather my plans, she would give me that kind of look and thousands of lame excuses would come next. That's what she does all the time. I know she's being very caring and is just protecting me (ahem* only daughter lah!), but I seriously hate her negative thoughts. Her fears of all the possible bad things that might just happen if I were to proceed with my plans. Gahhh...

She knows I have plans of going "there" to work this year, which might be after my industrial training or maybe next year, but she's still giving me that kind of feedback I don't want to hear. It's not that I'm being naughty or committing any crime, I just believe that life is short, and I'm still young but it's time to leave the nest to explore, learn, grow and depend on myself. I reckon it's just not right for her to protect me in such a way. I mean, how long can she be the armor to shield and prevent me from seeing or even experiencing the harsh realities of life?

I thought Mum was the only one who worries too much about her kids but when Mrs Ong came over to complain about the same issue, I realised there's a clear linkage between mothers and worries. I know Mum has always been supportive of anything I do (erm, except a few things!) albeit with perpetual negative facial expressions, but the main problem is, she worries too much. (I probably got this trait from her cos I'm a worry wart too! Haha) I guess I will never understand her over exaggerating reactions and excessive worries...not until I become somebody's mother one day.