Decision is final

It's almost a month since I last blogged. That tells you one thing. I have been very busy!...but not for long.

After spending so much time to think, I've finally decided to start my journey on a new road. It's been too tiring, mentally and physically torturing to be where I am today. But, there's something else to worry from now onwards. When will I get phone calls to go for interviews? :P Hehe. "What? Are you leaving even before finding any new place?" I know you have that question in your mind. Well, honestly, I myself am surprised with this decision also...but I really feel so much lighter and happier after my boss accepts the letter (that's after 2-3 weeks of persuasion!).

I know I should start worrying about how to pay my bills (erm, not really that much lah...I think) but looking at things on a brighter side, the end of a road is the beginning of yet another road. Perhaps I should feel excited that I will be traveling down another different road that could possibly leave me happy and contented. Who knows?

Oh yeah, there are a few other things that are worth sharing because I am happy about them! I have received a wonderful present on V-day which left lots of people jealous! :P Hehehe... Another thing is, my convo is coming! It's next weekend and my name is even listed on my uni's website! Ohh....finally! I really can't wait for that day to come... :D

**Damn, this is my first time blogging in the office. Let's just hope that the IT dept is not tracking on what I'm doing...

Ribbons for V-day?

Today is the fourth day of CNY already??? Damn it! Why does it feel like the time has had a bullet train ride? Grrr....and the next moment, I bet you know what I'm about to rant. Tomorrow is the first day at work after CNY! :(

The other day, when I saw the bloody director punya muka tebal in the newspaper, really very potong stim....really got my mood spoiled! Of all things, I saw his face on the first day of CNY, and I did feel like a pile of suey-ness falling onto myself. That tells you why I was busy printing application letters and resume yesterday! Hahaha...

Oh anyway, speaking of CNY, there's another significant day in February. Erm, honestly speaking, I don't normally celebrate V-day but I've really got a problem here. I just can't think of anything to buy at all. I am seriously struggling while thinking of any physical things to buy. Damn, if he sees this, he'll be laughing his ass out! >.<

And when you're having such a big headache thinking of gifts to buy for him, you get funny ideas from friends. E.g. Tie a ribbon around your neck and make yourself his present. -.- I might consider this idea only if I've gone crazy. Erm, it's not really a bad idea actually but it just doesn't sound practical....hmmm.

I better go out and scout for something now....or maybe to get the ribbons. :P

Wedding bells?

I was busy with some work when a friend/colleague came over to my department. I was surprised to see him but it was even more shocking when he passed a red/pink colored envelope to me. I just smiled, said thank you and proceeded with whatever I was doing as I thought it was just a CNY card. But, when he continued standing there right beside my desk, I felt weird.

I turned, looked at him and decided to open the so-called CNY card. Ohh...it was a Wedding Invitation...and I saw the two surnames! As I screen through that card, gosh! Why is it so fast???? I quickly said congrats...and continued with my work, pretending as though it wasn't a big issue at all.

It was really weird, you know. Both of them got together somewhere around the time when me and the other half just got started. So, our relationships with each other's partner were actually about the same age....but out of the blue, they decided to get married??? I was like....what the hell? What's the rush? And before I knew it, there were rumours spreading around. Everyone was gossiping about the girl (I know her too), particularly about her stomach which is obviously getting bigger each day.

I'm guilty for talking about this topic among my group too but my concern is, will marriage like this one lasts? Well, it's obviously none of my problem as I am not the bride but nonetheless, I know the couple and the guy is my friend! Is he going to regret?

The story was something like this. They fell in love and half way through, there were arguments and they broke up. Unfortunately, she found out she was pregnant and they decided to get married. The problem is, they were together for just 3-4 months and now, they're going to be together for the rest of their lives? I know love is above all (for some people only!) but isn't it crazy? When you break up with someone, it obviously shows that both of you are not getting along well. So, why still proceed with the wedding just because of the baby? It sounds stupid. Put the responsibility issue aside first...

Sorry lah....I know it sounds cruel to the baby but think of this. Would you rather provide the child true happiness or just make sure the child has a father but cannot guarantee whether he/she is going to be happy? It's just 3-4 months only!!! How much do you know that person? Will you regret? Damn...I guess I have way too many friends who have gone through such situation before and I can tell you that....this guy will regret one day...and maybe the girl too.

Erm, when a couple has broken up but they still get married just because of the baby she carries, it just doesn't make any sense. Truly unacceptable, but nothing can be done anymore. Here's wishing the newly weds happiness and a smooth journey in building their family.

1 decision vs 3 options = big headache

I'm back...

The other day, while waiting for the ultrasound and endoscopy, it really felt like waiting for death. Hehe. Sorry, but it really felt that way! I spent 2 days in the hospital and the result was ok.... Erm, just erosion found on the wall of my stomach, but the pain was way too much to bear, which is why I ended up in the hospital having a thin instrument called the endoscope traveling all the way from my mouth into the stomach! Eewwww... And the only reaction I got from the doctor was, "Ohhh...it's nothing serious!" and he just kept smiling! -.-

Anyway, I'm back at home now....with lots of medicine to take. :( For the time being, no spicy and sour food. Hidup sudah jadi tak bermakna! :( :(

You know, while in the hospital, I really can't help thinking about my options. Well, I had lots of time and there was nothing much that can be done...other than reading my book. While chatting with the aunty beside me at the ward, she was talking about her niece who works in XX. We chatted on a lot of topics and I even gave her my contacts when she said her niece's company wants to hire people.

See? Seems like yours truly is getting more and more desperate! I hate being desperate but the problem is, I am still so bloody confused. Should I proceed? When? Now, next week or next month? Where? Option A, B or C?

I know I've been ranting about the same damn thing for the past one month or so, but the decision still lies in my own hands. What to do now? ...and when I found that I have a total of 194 unread emails during my two days' absence, I become even more desperate and can't stop forcing myself to make the decision! I guess this is one of the drawbacks of being an adult coz I can't remember being stuck in such a situation before. *Ouch*

Blue?

Ahhh...I've finally changed to the new widget template! What do you think? Looks clean and neat huh?...I hope.

The past 3 weeks were pretty bad. Other than being busy at work (as usual... *yawn*), I've been going in and out of the clinic for a few times. Tomorrow, I'll be going for a thorough checkup on my gastric and intestinal problems at the hospital. Let's just hope that it's nothing serious. Hmm...

Oh yeah, another thing. I did mention that I've made up my mind right? Well, yes...but the question now is...when? *Thinks*

The big event is coming soon!

Some time ago, I blogged about the excitement and joy of other people's convocation ceremonies. Below is another similar excerpt I copied from one of my old blog entries.

"Nothing can make me happier than seeing cheerful faces around at the big hall yesterday. It was that grand event again. My Uni holds two convocation ceremonies in a year and this is the second one. As expected, thousands of happy faces could be seen. Hundreds of Masters and Degree holders (students from certain faculties including mine) received their scroll of honour and I was there to share my seniors’ happiness and pride."

Previously, I did complain about having to wait for such a long period of time before my turn comes...but now, you know what? It's my turn to wear that big "coat" to get the scroll of honour, right in front of my parents, lecturers and professors...in front of about 5000 people in that big hall! Hehehhe....watch this space. I will definitely share my joy here when the real day comes - which is some time in March.

:)

The difference between today and yesterday

I can't believe that 2007 has ended! It still feels like December but last night, within just minutes, we had to say goodbye to the previous year and greet the new year with *hopefully* a much stronger faith, with the hope that everything would turn out good. Last year was a mix of good and bad for me. And since 2008 has arrived, I have more than enough reasons to move forward, where I would push myself to progress into the next phase of my life. Well, of course it is easier said than done....but I guess I've had enough.

I was probably thinking too much today. I was physically with the other half, but mentally...I didn't know where my brain went to. It was blank at a moment, and full of deep thoughts the next minute. Of course I was still listening to the things he said but a certain percentage of me was rather too occupied with some issues. (Sorry Dear, I know you got a bit annoyed with that...)

I don't know what's wrong with me but it's been this way for the past few weeks...and the effects have since gone deeper and deeper. It seems like it is getting more and more serious. Perhaps, I already know the answer. I knew what to do already...but when will the actual actions be taken? It ain't an easy task! ...but I guess, it's been dragging for too long already. In fact, I've gotten sick of the whole situation coz I just can't seem to move from where I am and all you see is just the rants I leave here. Gahhhh!!

Oops! I forgot to wish you "Happy New Year" before I start grumbling here. Hehe! Hope this year will shower us with the best things in life.