A girl's heart is literally made of glass. It's fragile...but at times, it could be hard or soft, all depending on situations, whether it's a good or a bad one.
So, what if a girl's stuck in a neither good or bad situation? I tell you....it's worse! Her eyes would be swollen because of the neverending tears rolling down her cheeks. (Goddamnit! The tears just won't stop! This is so unbelieveable!) A situation that she can't control anymore until her parents notice the tears and all that. See? That's not bad enough. There's more.
The girl would start to convince herself with all sorts of bloody reasons and excuses when she began to bombard herself with millions of unanswered questions. "Why isn't he calling? Oh he's probably busy with the new project again and also the Bangla workers...or maybe he's too tired until he has fallen asleep again....or he has fallen sick again...or he's occupied with the family due to filial piety, etc." What else could she do? A career-minded yet family-oriented man is like that. Nothing can be done!
She would do anything to make herself feel better. She would try to make herself stronger and hate the idiot by listening to Bon Jovi's You Give Love A Bad Name. She would get adequate attention from other men and this at least proves that she's still attractive. The extra attention she gets reminds her that she won't die without this one as there are many other eligible ones out there. She would try her best to forget everything but the problem is left unsolved. The idiot doesn't even know what's happening and she should be hating him but after some time, her heart would just transform into the soft mode again when it actually shouldn't.
Is it really that complicated? Oh well...I was chatting with a male friend the other day and he said, "Guys are stupid. We don't know what you girls are thinking about. Just say it out and tell him." So are you guys really that stupid? GAhhh... Don't you get it? Don't you know that something's wrong somewhere? At times, you would call four to five times a day as though you can't live without yours truly, making me feeling like a prized possession. You would tell every single thing in your life, from the lazy Bangla workers to the Ah Lians you saw, your dogs, projects and even the underwear colour! At other times, you would just disappear without any news for one to two days, which makes me thinking whether you're dead or still alive! This is getting shitty. You come and go anytime you want. It just makes me feel like a solid waste!
In these 22 years, I've never really celebrated my birthday because I just hate it. People never seem to be sincere enough. So why should there be a celebration on the day I turn a year older? My family usually forgets my birthday and would often compensate with belated or early birthday gifts. Never mind. I'm big enough. I don't need birthday celebrations. This time everyone remembers my birthday, even my family... except the idiot. I don't think he knows it too. Never mind. I'm not greedy over anything from him. After all, the feeling of being a non-valuable trash has been embedded in yours truly. So does it make any difference? Nehh...
Luckily I still have a bunch of close friends. I was moved to tears when two cheemuis called all the way from Sabah to wish me and cheer me up. I was so touched when my Uni friends came all the way to Penang to celebrate my birthday, albeit a day earlier. I was happy to receive SMSes from friends who reside in other states and also other countries, from as far as UK. I was glad the previous one called all the way from the neighbouring country just for a simple "Happy Birthday" wish. Thanks a lot! You guys mean so much to me.
While battling the emotional slump, some peeps became morons at the wrong time. This course mate of mine made me uncomfortable when he said, "I don't mind spending some time in Penang because I'm accompanying a gorgeous lady like you" Euuuuwwww! It feels disgusting when someone says that kind of thing especially when you're already in a bad mood. I could digest what he said if he was another date or any potential fishes. Yucks! Apart from that, I was utterly surprised when some morons who disappeared ages ago because they thought I was boring and ugly came back with fake sincerity and wished me "Happy Birthday". I wished I could be happy just because of those wishes.
So, what if a girl's stuck in a neither good or bad situation? I tell you....it's worse! Her eyes would be swollen because of the neverending tears rolling down her cheeks. (Goddamnit! The tears just won't stop! This is so unbelieveable!) A situation that she can't control anymore until her parents notice the tears and all that. See? That's not bad enough. There's more.
The girl would start to convince herself with all sorts of bloody reasons and excuses when she began to bombard herself with millions of unanswered questions. "Why isn't he calling? Oh he's probably busy with the new project again and also the Bangla workers...or maybe he's too tired until he has fallen asleep again....or he has fallen sick again...or he's occupied with the family due to filial piety, etc." What else could she do? A career-minded yet family-oriented man is like that. Nothing can be done!
She would do anything to make herself feel better. She would try to make herself stronger and hate the idiot by listening to Bon Jovi's You Give Love A Bad Name. She would get adequate attention from other men and this at least proves that she's still attractive. The extra attention she gets reminds her that she won't die without this one as there are many other eligible ones out there. She would try her best to forget everything but the problem is left unsolved. The idiot doesn't even know what's happening and she should be hating him but after some time, her heart would just transform into the soft mode again when it actually shouldn't.
Is it really that complicated? Oh well...I was chatting with a male friend the other day and he said, "Guys are stupid. We don't know what you girls are thinking about. Just say it out and tell him." So are you guys really that stupid? GAhhh... Don't you get it? Don't you know that something's wrong somewhere? At times, you would call four to five times a day as though you can't live without yours truly, making me feeling like a prized possession. You would tell every single thing in your life, from the lazy Bangla workers to the Ah Lians you saw, your dogs, projects and even the underwear colour! At other times, you would just disappear without any news for one to two days, which makes me thinking whether you're dead or still alive! This is getting shitty. You come and go anytime you want. It just makes me feel like a solid waste!
In these 22 years, I've never really celebrated my birthday because I just hate it. People never seem to be sincere enough. So why should there be a celebration on the day I turn a year older? My family usually forgets my birthday and would often compensate with belated or early birthday gifts. Never mind. I'm big enough. I don't need birthday celebrations. This time everyone remembers my birthday, even my family... except the idiot. I don't think he knows it too. Never mind. I'm not greedy over anything from him. After all, the feeling of being a non-valuable trash has been embedded in yours truly. So does it make any difference? Nehh...
Luckily I still have a bunch of close friends. I was moved to tears when two cheemuis called all the way from Sabah to wish me and cheer me up. I was so touched when my Uni friends came all the way to Penang to celebrate my birthday, albeit a day earlier. I was happy to receive SMSes from friends who reside in other states and also other countries, from as far as UK. I was glad the previous one called all the way from the neighbouring country just for a simple "Happy Birthday" wish. Thanks a lot! You guys mean so much to me.
While battling the emotional slump, some peeps became morons at the wrong time. This course mate of mine made me uncomfortable when he said, "I don't mind spending some time in Penang because I'm accompanying a gorgeous lady like you" Euuuuwwww! It feels disgusting when someone says that kind of thing especially when you're already in a bad mood. I could digest what he said if he was another date or any potential fishes. Yucks! Apart from that, I was utterly surprised when some morons who disappeared ages ago because they thought I was boring and ugly came back with fake sincerity and wished me "Happy Birthday". I wished I could be happy just because of those wishes.
You know...sometimes, it's just so tiring to keep comforting myself with stupid excuses until I started reminding myself that I probably deserve someone better. I always believe there's someone better out there. After all, I started this one with a "game" mode. An unexpected one. I never thought it would go this way. And now that the mode has been unknowingly changed into feelings, it's really time to decide. It's a choice of either to end or to continue and whatever the decision is, I have nothing to lose....so we seriously need to talk but before that, I need to investigate whether he's dead or still alive!
