Part by part, Piece by piece, word by word...

I attached a few pieces of jigsaw puzzles together and found these words. Surprised and a bit lost.

I thought I could...but I still can't. I thought I had...but I'm surprised I still haven't.

Getting into yet another mess isn't a way out. Why does it have to go this way?

It's hot on the outside, but cold on the inside...resulting in absolute numbness.

"Are you still angry?" The familiar voice keeps repeating itself in the ear each time after the same old ring tone is heard.

This is so confusing. I'm tired and obviously irritated.

So you call this fate? Sounds like a big bullshit now.

Is it going to be ok? This question worth more than I ever expected.

The answer to that question is my good friend for the time being........"I don't know".

Love conquers all?

I read that statement somewhere some time ago. You know what? That statement seriously sounds more like a big bullshit to me! Here are some questions to ponder upon:

Would you change your mindset, character, lifestyle, image, etc... and become a total alien to your own self to match another person's expectations just because you so-called love him or her?

Would you ditch your parents and family aside, forget about your commitments and obligations as a son or a daughter just to please the so-called loved one?

Would you be happy to be controlled and forced to do something you don't want or don't feel like doing?

Would you exclude yourself from the usual hangouts with close friends and colleagues just to be with the so-called loved one?

Would you pushed the "pause" button to your plans, dreams and ambitions, whatever you want just because of ONE particular person?

Would you go against your personal principles and values, straying away from your spiritual beliefs just to please your other half?

Personally, it's not wrong to fall in love but if loving someone requires you to stray away from your true self, to leave your family, friends, jobs, hobbies, et cetera, I tell you...it is not worth your time. Sacrifice or not, love is not everything. There's more to life than just love itself. Move on. Get a life.

*Sneeze*

Exam's over. End of fifth semester. I'm sick. Stupid flu and sore throat. Headache. Tired. Sleepy.

Be right back. Ciao.

A minor distraction

I was doing a final preparation before entering the exam hall for yet another battle. As I was reading through my notes, I had some strange feeling. Something with some kind of aura was approaching, nearer and nearer. Whispers and giggles could be heard.

I looked up and saw a smiling face. Wahhh…beautiful hazelnut eyes!! *Seconds of electrocution* I quickly regained composure, smiled a bit and continued reading my notes…but still curi-curi tengok every few seconds. It was really a minor distraction.

Oh come on, the only ang moh kia at Uni smiled to me! Gosh!! No wonder I was a bit distracted. The other girls were ogling at that cute fella too and they were obviously jealous that he smiled to me! Hehehe…that cute face, who hails from Czech Republic looks too good to be missed. How could I not feed my eyes when there was someone who looked so yummy right in front of me? Oh gosh! The cute face, charming smile, the hazelnut eyes, his perfect height of approximately 177cm, his not too heavy or fat weight of about 80kg and a surely nice-to-hug body! OMG….*nose bleed*

Swollen fingers...

It's the exam season. Each time I study, I have the habit to write a lot of notes. So, take a look at these photos. They show how much harm writing can do to your my fingers.

My left hand

After writing lots of this... (Erm, the above is merely an example of my notes. Do not be bothered by its content.)

Look at the swollen fingers on my right hand. =(

Poor me. I just can't wait for my final two papers to finish, coz I've waited for a week!! The ten-day gap is taking almost forever to end! Gahh...

The mystery of 1.12

It's been three days since its accidental suicide, but it miraculously survived the 0.8-metre fall. I can't deny that this one is super strong but it can now function on a twelve-hour basis only.

Everyday, for the past three days, it stopped functioning at 1.12, in the morning and afternoon. Damn. Maybe I need to get another alarm clock soon. This is my fourth one since I stayed at this jungle.

Sheesh. Why is it that I always can't have a good long-term relationship with an alarm clock? Maybe I shouldn't use an alarm clock anymore. Heh.

Aiihhh...this post doesn't make any sense at all. The law subject is making me crazy. DAmn. How did lawyers study????

I'm homesick. I miss everyone. I miss my cheemui. =(

I can't wait to go back to Penang. Gahhh...back to studying Akta Orang Gila, Seksyen 1,2,3...

Does a big age gap cause problems to relationships?

Previously, someone I was interested in told me that the six-year age gap was a problem. So the relationship didn’t work out between us but since then, I have been secretly wishing to be older. Most of the previous ones were four or five years older. Now, I really wonder whether it would be troublesome to date a man or men with a two-digit age gap.

If we were to put it in a nicer term, people would be saying, “Wow, you really like mature men huh?” but most nosy parkers would definitely ask this instead, “Wahh…why are you dating an old man?” My cheemui would definitely say this, “Why are you dating an uncle?” That donkey (the previous one) would say, “You like old dick! Hahaha” See what I mean here now? Not that I’m bothered with what others might say but what will my own inner self think of this whole issue?

Well, before you start assuming, I am still single at the moment, *ahem* ….but the thoughts of possible relationships with any of the new dates have been conquering the brain every once in a while. Not that I’m desperately seeking someone at the moment but dating a much older man could be a total different experience altogether. I’m not afraid of gaining the experience but I’m much more concerned with the possibility of really ending up with that person for the rest of my life. It’s just terrifying.

Sometimes, it may be fun to meet new faces every now and then, expand the circle of friends and date different men without getting into any serious long-term relationships but how am I to know that they’re not seeking a lifetime partner? Damn. This is scary. These few years, it’s been a valuable experience to jump in and out of short-term relationships as they have truly changed my mindset and perceptions on life. Well, even though I got hurt a few times and I was partly to blame, I have no regrets in all that.

Now, the problem is, I’m always reminded that I’m still young and haven’t played or explored enough. In other words, I am not ready for that kind of relationship yet. So, what happens if any of the new dates end up as the potential future someone? I’m going to be tied down and it’s the end to everything? Gosh! This is too scary. Besides, the horoscope predictions done by a friend stated that I'm going to walk down the aisle with a much older man in a few years' time. Aiihhh....how true is that going to be? Bleh. Too much of pondering is not good.

Time out. I’m off. It’s time to prepare for another three papers and once they’re done, it’s the end of my fifth semester! Hehe. Ciao.

Destiny?

The time has come? Gosh! I'm not going to think about it yet. I'm a chicken shit at times. I dare not think...but I definitely can't deny what my instinct is telling me.

Hehehe.

The bigger head vs The smaller head

Men are born with two heads. A big and a small one. They are supposed to use these two heads at the right time, at the right place but unfortunately, most men (approximately 96.5%) use the smaller head more often than the bigger one. (Note: Both cannot be used simultaneously or it could lead to temporary brain damage.) However, there's a minority group that prefers using the bigger head most of the time, which is a bad thing also.

What could be more annoying than getting a question like this from random online strangers you chat with on ICQ or MSN? "Why are you not interested?" From the statistics of out of ten men, only two didn't ask that stupid question.

Duhh...you men are obviously too dumb to understand. We girls actually do get jealous over our lil sis because you guys are much more interested in her than in us. Does it make any sense now? *Rolls eyes*

Well, it may be a compliment if a girl likes your lil bro more than you but I tell you what...It will never happen coz if you want her to be fascinated with that funny-looking organ, you have to make her like you. Simple as that. Oh, of course there's an exception. If a girl likes your lil bro very much even though she doesn't know your name, then maybe I should congratulate you. She's a real slut.