That Donkey...again!

It's been 10 months, or almost a year since I broke up with that Donkey...but all these while, I'm aware that I still enjoy getting his attention (erm...until some time ago only). Being in self-denial, the "care" he showered me made me feel like he's still there.

I don't know when but when I started to set a gap between him n me, it has been that way ever since. Well, he still calls every now and then, occasionally about once in every two to three weeks. However, the calls left no effect. I made it clear, we broke up and we can only be friends. Nothing more than that. And, I even declined to meet up with him. What's the use of going out with an old flame to reignite ugly feelings again?

But, I really don't understand one thing. After 10 months or so, you're finally calling me on a daily basis again, checking on me, asking about my whereabouts, who I mix with and all that? What the hell is wrong with you? Where were you when I needed you most? Where were you when I was crying buckets on my birthday? What did you do when I had arguments with Mum? What did you do when I was in a bad mood?

You did nothing! You were no where to be found! I seriously hate myself very much coz you're really one shit ass in a phase of my life. If I could turn back time, I really wish I've never known/seen/dated you! I've had enough and I'm glad I'm over you already....in fact, it's been months! Wake up, idiot! It's over....you're just too late!

Paused....and resumed

Phew~! Time flies! I didn't even realize that I haven't updated my blog for more than a week. Hmmm...

Anyway, just an update on what has happened or what is currently going on....well, just in case you're wondering. Obviously, I'm not dead yet...and so does this blog.

1) I've been going out a lot lately. That tells you why this space is so quiet now.

2) I saw a few smart and good looking guys when I went to the airport to fetch a friend. Have I mentioned before that guys in uniform or formal wear always look hot? Whoo...HAha.

3) I was a bit pissed off with my boss the other day. I don't know why I keep getting irritated with her lately but I have a feeling that I won't be long at this company. Well, still under consideration. Hmm...Long story.

4) I bumped into this guy again when I went Torch with friends last night. I didn't know Penang is really so small that I keep meeting him by chance over and over again. Honestly, I don't like to bump into people like him. He probably thought I was still crazily into him, which is obviously not. He doesn't even meet any of my requirements, and this tells you one thing. I was blind last time...and I had no taste in choosing guys when I was much younger! Bleh!

5) I've been having too much of alcohol consumption lately. *Feels guilty*

6) I've only completed 18 pages of my industrial training report and I haven't touched it for a week already! Die!!

7) I've been doing a lot of soul searching and it is currently still going on. The questions related to my soul searching activity left me with a big headache! Grrr....

*Yawn* Damn sleepy here. Could be due to last night's outing. Going off to get some sleep now. Ciao.

Roundabout...

Am I dreaming or I just accidentally found myself walking in this place called dreamland? It's a surprising discovery though. Kinda unexpected....but how true can this be?? Will the rays of light last?

Bitch Beach lover

When one is under the hot sun or in humid places, there's only one thing that comes to mind... "I need air-con!" ...but when you're stuck in air-conditioned places for nearly 90% of the time in a day, you would be screaming for fresh air!

Of late, I've been inhaling too much of processed air which made yours truly feeling tired and weak. And the haze in Penang makes it even worse. I was really desperately seeking fresh air!

But, I'm now very satisfied and I'm still grinning from ear to ear as I've had adequate fresh air on Friday night! Hehehe. It's been ages since the last time I went to the beach. So, I was really dying to go to the seaside to get enough supply of sea breeze. Well...guess what? I really dragged myself to the beach on Friday night! I left office early and I made my way to Seawind around nine something, together with a beach lover friend/colleague.

It was truly satisfying when you get to enjoy the sea breeze at such a wonderful place with relaxing lightings, enjoying your glass of chilled drink on a starry night with a great companion to chat with and not forgetting the soothing songs played as well as the sound of waves hitting the shore.... Ahhh! It was truly the best way to unwind, especially after a tiring and stressful week.

As more and more patrons came crowding the place, we made our way to the beach instead. The beach area at Seawind was quite narrow and since the high tide brought sea water onto the beach, we left the place and went to another beach instead. Hah! A much better place indeed! We were enjoying the sea breeze when some foreigners saw us there. They probably thought my friend and I were stupid fools. I mean, how often can you find two fellas eating ice-cream at the beach at 1.30am? Haha.

I had enough supply of fresh air...or even better, sea breeze!! :)

A slap in the face

......well, thanks to reality.

It was a pretty bad day at work today and I was really very pissed off with some idiots. But, when I think it over, is it really worth it to be so angry? I don't think my salary is enough to cover my anger! So why bother about the idiots when I have already done what I'm supposed to?

Reality hits me hard when I started pondering and comparing my salary (Mind you, I am underpaid!) with the things I have to do, the things I have to sacrifice due to excessive workload and the idiots I have to deal with each day. If the pay is adequate or at least on par with the market rate for degree holders, I might just shut up and swallow in all my anger and also complaints.

I was stuck in a massive traffic jam just now when the question suddenly popped up, "Why do I need to do donkey jobs since I am not getting the wage of a similar qualified personnel?" Well, I know it's not wholly about the salary issue but I was really thinking. Am I really moulded for this kind of job or particularly this department? I suddenly feel so lost and confused.

Perhaps, I'm not suitable for a job like this. Or maybe, I need to focus on my other alternatives and forcefully drag myself back on track to pursue my dreams. Or was it just an excuse to get my ass out of this place?

"Happiness decides where you should be" A friend told me this previously but do you really agree with what she said? Well, I am in fact quite happy with my surroundings and the people around me (except those idiots I mentioned, of course!) but can this judge what I should do next?

Every minute counts

When you're happy and enjoying yourself, time passes too quickly until you hardly notice it. Every day, you force yourself to wake up early in the morning and drag yourself to work (hopefully, before the clock-in time!).

On every Monday morning, you will wish for the same thing over and over again. "How I wish today's Friday!" ...And when Friday comes, you could be seen grinning from ear to ear, always excited about Friday night. From Monday till Friday, you've been thinking a lot and have even planned all sorts of things for the weekend.

When Friday night finally arrives, you'll get all excited and energetic for any kinds of activities you have planned. On Saturday, once again, you enjoy yourself to the fullest. And when Sunday finally comes (especially around this time - 10 something at night), you feel so down and disturbed.

You would possibly ask yourself a silly question. "What have I done over the last two days? Why did time pass by so quickly when I was enjoying myself?"

What I typed above best describes my current mood. I have lots of plans lately, particularly during the weekends and I just realized that my Saturdays and Sundays end too fast until I could hardly remember what I did. You know, this reminds me that my motivation to go to work has become lesser now, and it's only my third month at this company! Damn...This is a bad sign!

It's not even Monday yet and I'm already whining now! Bleh!

Poisonous dream

Last night, I dreamt of that cute one again. It appears funny to me coz I know I'm not what I used to be. Only desperados would go crazy over a guy until like that! ...but how do you explain this one? Hmm...it still feels funny though.

Well, it's true that the cute guy's smile could melt any girl's heart easily, but then again, damn.... I'm out of this! *Keeps reminding myself that he's JUST a friend*

There's something that is actually bugging me. One of his friends knows about this dream of mine, but I hope he won't spill the beans. This is super embarrassing! I probably have to feed him with lots of good food to stuff his big mouth! ...but how long can this so-called secret be safe? Bleh.

Missing the jungle life

It's been a few days since I last updated this space and it's mainly due to the lack of desire to blog.

Anyways, I was enjoying my hot drink during tea time when I suddenly realized something. I've been out of Uni for two months plus now. I can't believe that I was thinking of the jungle this afternoon. I miss the jungle very much. I spent three years there and everything has changed ever since.

I don't know how to put the feelings into words but I really miss those times when I enjoyed listening to my favourite songs on Ipod while walking from one place to another within the campus. I miss my course mates and Uni friends. I miss the library! (I know this sounds a bit stupid but yours truly loves to be surrounded by lots of books coz it makes one feel like a smart ass! Heh!) I miss the afternoon naps I've always had. *Sigh* I miss everything there!