Ladies and Gentlemen,
May I present to you my “dear” roommate, Miss La Sam Po.
This girl was a big New Year surprise as she moved into my room from another block of the same hostel exactly on the 31st of last year. I got a shock of my life when I saw her bags in my room after attending the lousy non-beneficial co-curriculum activity. When she entered my room with a whole battalion of Ah Lians, I was stunned. I didn’t expect this girl to be the other one sharing the small room. She introduced herself and I greeted her with a smile and said hello.
I don’t know whether I should be sad or happy coz I remembered the question that came to mind the night before I dozed off. I asked myself whether there would be any difference if I had a roommate. Then, I reckoned maybe a roommate would be great. *sheesh* Now, I really REGRET with the thoughts of having a new roommate!! Never had I expected this “dirty” girl to be in my room!
I’ve heard a lot about this girl from another friend during the previous three semesters. Well, you may say that assumptions and negative perceptions are not an ideal thing to do, but hey, I am not assuming nor forming any opinions on her! I heard many things about this girl from her ex-roommate, who is a senior. And shockingly, she’s really that type of person as described by others.
For starters, I shall describe a little bit about this girl before I tell you why she was given that name. Someone who doesn’t know her would think of her as a happy-go-lucky type of person who never fails to smile to the world! That makes her very friendly and approachable. She’s the “party” type who loves fame and dreams to lead a glamour life by mingling around with the gang of oh-so-popular-but-useless hostel committee members. (Oh, have I told you before that I DISLIKE DISLIKE DISLIKE anyone who demands for fame for no fcuking reason?? In fact, there needn’t be any excuse to demand for popularity unless you’re an international artiste or award-winning actor! Reputation should be earned and not demanded! Shame on you!) Oh another thing. She’s the “party” type but please don’t get me wrong. She’s NOT the sleek and slender type. She’s HUGE! She’s bigger than me in any ways and has a boy-cut hairstyle. Over all, I would say that she’s still a “mummy’s little girl” who doesn’t know how to take care of herself.
So, why did I give her that nickname? Haa…the name says it all. “La Sam Po” means an untidy lady in Hokkien. In my whole life, I’ve NEVER seen any girls like her. Sounds serious huh?? Well, I could turn a blind eye on her laziness and untidiness as that’s totally none of my business but, eeeuuwww…..she’s SOOOO untidy!! She could lie down on the bed and sleep straightaway after an outing with her sweat-drenched clothes! (Hmm…no wonder my room is a bit reeking now!)
She doesn’t fold her blanket after she wakes up. (Oh this is nothing actually, as I guess most of you are still like this) She eats all the time (not my problem also) but on her bed??? What if the ants invade my room?????? Her ex-roommate told me that she’s a person who believes in sharing things. If her toilet roll supply has finished, she’ll just casually use her roommate’s one WITHOUT permission. Well, I’m not worrying about my toilet rolls but what about other things??? Like my printer, A4 papers, stationeries and many other things. Oh wait, before you start assuming, I am NOT stingy but would you like someone who loves to share EVERYTHING with you??? NO…it’s not a good idea to share undergarments, toiletries, the same bed, clothes and many other things with a person like her. Ah, another thing is that she likes to hang her “inner beauties” a.k.a. undergarments everywhere, the higher the better…so that everyone who passes my room could see them clearly. Maybe she’s trying to show off that her “assets” are bigger OR her bad taste of Auntie look-alike bras make her feel sexy! Haha...
I don’t like her gang of friends. They (about 5-6 girls) would invade my room and ignore the original owner of the room (ME!). I don’t bloody care about them being Ah Lians but excuse me, when you enter someone else’s room and she’s there, what are you supposed to do??? Can’t they just say hello or at least smile or something?? Ehh, hello! Don’t you girls learn your manners or etiquette when you were younger?? Oii, go and learn your manners and respect other people ok! The worst part is that they dare to gossip about me INSIDE my room when I AM AROUND. Those lousy girls think that I’m stupid enough unable to comprehend Mandarin. *sheesh* Now, I’m really worried. I’m afraid those Ah Lians would invade my room and camp there when I’m back to Penang or away for any project trips.
Actually, I could still tolerate if my roommate is only untidy but her habit really gets on my nerve. She likes to leave the door widely open all the time, even when she’s not around. So, any Tom, Dick or Harry could easily spot anything in my room even with closed eyes! I really hate this habit of hers. What’s the point of opening the door all the time??? Is she trying to attract the stray cats, thieves (my block has a pencuri who is famous for stealing undergarments and many other personal things!), the aunties selling nasi lemak, fruits, junk food and snacks, etc.??? I think she doesn’t understand the word “privacy”. I don’t like the idea of doing anything with kaypo chee eyes looking at me. It’s uncomfortable and absolutely annoying. She thinks that everyone staying at the same block is like a big family by itself. It would be great if every girl here treats each other like sisters but unfortunately, this is not the case. The other students have asked me about this weird girl staying in my room but I really don’t know what to say.
“Hey, the other day I saw your roommate changing clothes!”
“What??? You hamsap fella! You peeped into my room???”
“No lar, she took off her pants when the door was ajar.”
“Really??? OMG!!”
See??? Now, you tell me. Who’s acting weirdly, her or me? Or maybe I’m just too paranoid? Heh! Gosh! How am I supposed to stay with a person like this for another THREE fcuking months???? *sigh* And maybe she’ll be staying with me till I graduate! Oh NO!!! I think I should get an application form to move to another hostel at the other end of my uni soon, maybe for the next sem! Or else, I would either be sent to the Hospital Bahagia before the completion of my sixth semester OR become like her….NO WAY!! *sheesh* I foresee that there's a 98.96% of possibility of becoming weird just like my "dear" roommate!!
Damn…PLEASE save me!!
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