Please think before you speak!

All the while, every single word that comes out from your mouth seems to hurt a lot. I don't know whether I'm being too sensitive or maybe it was you who always speak without thinking. It's always the usual trivial issues that trigger your unsatisfactory remarks on me but those are just minor things, why must you make such a big fuss about it?

Have you ever considered my feelings? Can you please put yourself in my shoes before jumping to conclusion? Oh please! I'm old enough to think of what I'm doing. I'm not even committing a crime now. So what's the problem all about? Previously, you always complained on almost everything I did. You were never pleased with me but because of respect, I still listen and comply to the things you said...and until today, I still respect you.

...but each time, when you talk without enough facts or without thinking, when you don't trust me, when you accuse me of doing certain things....I tell you...it really hurts! You could speak all the hurtful things out, act dumb a moment later and sleep soundly after a while but I can't. I really can't. All these are still slowly accumulating in me, even though I've grown numb to this kind of situation and have eventually become someone with a "don't-care attitude".

As I grow older, I thought all these would vanish someday but I doubt they will. I don't wish to be revengeful. I don't want to disrespect you also...but I guess, my earlier decision, the one I made a few months ago is a right choice. One of the many reasons I want to leave this place and move to the neighbouring country (or anywhere else except this island) to work is because I want to be far away from you. Too bad this is all I could do to prevent unwanted arguments and all the unnecessary fuss about trivial issues.

Happy 2nd Anniversary

Can you believe it? I started blogging in 2005 and it's been 2 years!!

I didn't know I have so many things to bitch about.

I've never expected this blog to last so long.

Anyway, is it time to move to Wordpress? Hmmm....

Gahh!! I'll think about that some other time. Time to sleep. It's been a tiring and busy week! =/

See ya!

First day at Uni....a few years ago

It's barely a week to the first day at Uni for many new undergrads. This period of time reminds me of my own experience about three to four years ago.

It was a Tuesday when I checked on the Internet and found out that I was "thrown" into a university I never applied for and was offered a course I've never even heard of. It was truly a scary feeling as it felt like a dead end. As I didn't want to burden my family financially (and I also prefer to be independent), I swallowed in all the fear and volunteered to study in the jungle (Yes, my Uni is located exactly in the middle of a jungle and I'm not kidding!) even though I didn't like it...

Back then, we were only given a few days to a week's time to get ready for the grand entry into a tertiary level of education. I bought LOTS of things and I thought it was adequate....but it wasn't enough. I bought more things when I reached there! The night before my first day at Uni was terrible. I couldn't sleep at all. It wasn't about excitement but it was more of mixed feelings. "Can I survive staying far away from my family?" That question rings in the ear over and over again till I dozed off.

Before I knew it, it was time to depart. We left home as early as 5am. Along the way, it was a shocking sight to my parents because they only saw trees, paddy fields, mountains, other cars, more trees, more paddy fields and nothing else. As it was my second time travelling down that road (I had earlier visited this Uni and was also the first one to say "NO, I don't want to study in a jungle" but ironically, I got a place there!), it wasn't that shocking anymore.

When I registered myself at the hostel's office, I had a big culture shock. I thought the Chinese communities at the northern region should be speaking Hokkien and not other languages or dialects, but I was wrong. Having attended a national school (English-Bahasa medium), I was a sucker in Mandarin. I could hardly speak a single word even though I could comprehend simple words. (Currently, I could at least speak a bit...but I still have lots to learn though. Hehe) My first day...in fact, the first week felt like the worst time of my life. I made friends easily with Malay girls but not those from the same race. I didn't know what went wrong but it felt like a place full of racists. You will only see people of the same race together. So, I was obviously an isolated "special" alien when the other Chinese girls saw me with Malay girls. (Disclaimer: Oops, this paragraph is not intended to induce racism among blog readers or belittle any race. This is truly a personal experience and opinion.)

Anyway to cut a long story short, everything eventually went on smoothly. I found a group of close friends comprising both Malays and Chinese. I have friends from other races as well. Initially, I never liked my days at Uni and had always looked forward to going back home but when I was finally in my sixth (final) semester, I secretly hoped that time would stop, at least for a while so that I could enjoy and spend more time at Uni. Unfortunately, when you love something very much, time flies and it was time to say goodbye to Uni.

I have lots of other stories to share about Uni but I'll just stop here for today. Just a piece of advice. Whatever you do, make sure you're doing your best, you enjoy it and most importantly you're happy about it.

The idiot in front of you

When it's raining heavily...

and certain areas are flooded...

When you're late for work...

and you're worried about the clock-in time...

You will always meet a very "good friend" in front of you...

He normally drives at a speed of 40kmph only....

blocking you from speeding or overtaking him...

while he enjoys a satisfying dig of his own gold mine....

And nothing can be done...until you finally overtake his bloody car and show him this!

NAHHH!! Buzz off, idiot!

When you bump into your high school crush

How often do you bump into the same person a few times in a week?

It was Tuesday night when I joined a colleague's farewell dinner/gathering with the other colleagues at a restaurant in a famous fishing village. I was enjoying my meal (Fyi, eight types of seafood!!) when I noticed there was a pair of eyes looking my way. I looked up and saw a familiar face.

Damn. It was K, one of my high school crushes. Erm, have I told you before that I sometimes suspect I have a serious disease - I fall for people easily, particularly those who meets my requirements. (But, I didn't have any specific requirements yet back then) *shy* Anyways, he still looked very much the same but I doubt he could recognize me. After all, yours truly is no longer the ugly-looking, naive girl with inflamed and pimply skin, and thick glasses. Hehe. But, I acted dumb as though I didn't know who he was. Well, it's obviously humiliating to meet back an old crush by chance, especially when he knew every bit about the infatuation. It was a quite hot gossip back at high school. So paiseh.

I thought I wouldn't meet K anymore after Tuesday night but guess what? I bumped into him again when I went out for lunch on Wednesday. It was a large hawker food center with more than 50 stalls but I saw him there. Our eyes met but again, I acted dumb and just walked pass him. I believed I won't meet him by chance anymore, but the third time happened within a week. I bumped into him again this afternoon when I went out for lunch. Aihhh....I have nothing else to say now. This is so weird.

Anyways, apart from feeling weird, how did I feel and what was in my mind when I saw K?

Possible Answers:
A) Gosh! He still looks good!
B) Damn, was I blind? How could I fall for this guy for 2-3 years' long when he is soooo short, skinny and small built?
C) *look-look, see-see* ...no feeling at all...Puppy love is stupid.
D) None of the above.
E) ___________ (Please specify)

So which is the right answer?

Updates

:(

I just got back from office about an hour ago...

I have lots of things to blog about but it seems that I have to leave it till tomorrow. Damn I'm so busy!

Long story lah. I bumped into a high school crush. Hehe. Other than that, I have other things to bitch about also.

Will tell you more on that tomorrow, that's only if I could leave office early. =/

Time to sleep. Nites!

P/s: This blog is not dead yet. TQ. HEhe...

Between money and women

People always say there's a linkage between money and women. Most men believe in something stupid like this saying, "No money, no honey". Do you actually believe in that statement? Being a feminist, I'm definitely against it. We girls are worth much more than you guys can ever afford....

...but today is an exceptional day and therefore I shall blog about the importance of money-making. For guys, the usual thing that comes to mind when you have lots of money is...sexy babes (Shame on you! Is that all you can think about?? Oops. Out of topic!).

For girls, when we have lots of money, we get to do lots of things. Shopping, travelling, spa, hair treatments, facials, cars, dogs, do anything to look like Jessica Alba, whatever... (Disclaimer: Not every girl fancy those things I mentioned)

As for yours truly, if I could earn enough money in three years' time, I will definitely pack my bags and get my ass to UK to fulfill my childhood dreams. Erm, other than that, I would love to drive a Mitsubishi Lancer, a Honda Civic or a Syang Yong Rexton, own a luxury condo before age 30, etc...and the list goes on.

So, as I was surfing the net, I stumbled upon a website that managed to catch my attention. Initially, I doubt its feasibility but what the heck? I gave it a try anyway. Let's see whether it works or not.

You should try it out too. Who knows, you could earn LOTS of money just like the owner himself? HAha...

Cheers to money-making. Click HERE and not on the pic below, you perverts!

Damn. This chick looks so damn gatal! Eeeuwww...

How a number makes you happy

I just got out from the meeting room when one of my Uni course mates messaged me on MSN.

"Result is out. Check it now!"

I knew I didn't do quite well in one of the papers during my final exam. So I was hesitating whether to check it in the office or not. I was afraid that my CGPA would go down. I was afraid that my result would affect my mood at work. Even though I've already gotten a job, I'm still hoping that I could at least maintain my pointer so that I don't need to pay back for the National Higher Education Fund's (better known as PTPTN) loan.

For hours and hours, I made myself busy at work and I totally forgot about the issue. When I reached home, the first thing I did was to log in to my Uni's portal to check on it.

I took a deep breath. It felt like a "do-or-die" situation. I clicked on it and what I saw was truly surprising. I thought I saw the wrong thing. I pinched myself but I saw the same thing. I couldn't believe my own eyes. So I dragged Dad and Bro to see it. They saw the same thing.

It is confirmed that I don't need to pay back for my PTPTN loan anymore. It has been converted to a scholarship automatically. Not only that, I will be wearing a gold medal during my convocation ceremony! (Look! I'm not bragging but I'm just too....erm, happy and surprised! Hehe)

*beaming from ear to ear*

The other road users...

When you're late for work, you tend to meet all sorts of irritating drivers on the road. Among those who get on your nerves are:

1) The super careful babes - they usually drive at a speed of 40 kmph even when they're driving on a highway. Driving behind these cars make you feel like you're following a real tortoise!

2) The carefree uncles and aunties - this group of drivers have always been very annoying. Of all times, they choose to go to the market, to a famous tai chi park or to a coffee shop to gossip about people's second wife (or anywhere else) when other people are on their way to work. Can't they go to those places a bit earlier or later? Gahh!!

3) The careless drivers - this group of drivers usually drive as though they own the road. Needless to say, they're usually the culprits / victims of accident cases...which would cause so much of inconvenience to other road users - traffic jam!!

4) The nose goldmine diggers - you will see this group of drivers frequently on the road, especially in Penang. As "gold" digging could be addictive, they probably feel too much of satisfaction until they can't concentrate on the road.

5) The big bullies - Needless to say, bulldozers have always been the main contributor to massive traffic jams...but I really can't understand why I always meet the same bulldozer (driver) everyday when I drive to work! Grrr...

6) The talkative bitches - Would you talk on the phone early in the morning, and of all times when you're driving? Gahh...you have so many things to bitch about huh? If you have good driving skills, you can obviously talk on the phone all the time even when you're driving, but when you suck at it, don't do it!

7) The gesticulative idiots - This type of drivers are usually seen to be actively gesticulating in the car, even when he's driving on a highway. Erm, by the way, I used to think that women are more of the gesticulative type when they talk (Not all lah!) but so far, the gesticulative idiots I saw on the road were men. Aww...shameful!

Aihh....this post tells you one thing. I reached my office a few minutes later than the actual work-in time. So, it's obviously time to sleep already. =/

Falling into the rat race....real soon! Grr...

When I was still studying, I had ample time to read Robert Kiyosaki's books or any other similar books (particularly on personal financing) but now that I spend more of my time at office, I can't quite remember what Robert or Kim (his wife) said anymore.

Before I started working, I was so anxious about personal financing. I was so eager to do this and that (In fact I had a list of things to do...) just to prevent myself from falling into the rat race but ever since I started working about three to four weeks ago, reality just pinched me in the ass and I'm so damn fcuking blur now. All I want is to get enough sleep.

Just imagine how fast each day passes and how I spend most of my time at work. In fact, I just got back from the office about an hour ago. Gahh. Call me a workaholic, whatever...but I guess I really need to find some other ways to prevent myself from falling into the rat race. Well, OT claims are obviously good and very attractive but I don't want to work my ass out for the next 30 over years just to pay tax!

Idiot. It's almost time to sleep and in a few hour's time, it's time to work again. Gahh...I know...I'm whining today. Forgive me for that. It's Monday! Aihhh...

*headache*

After three weeks...

The best thing that could happen to a student after leaving Uni is to meet back with some (or most) of her closer friends / course mates for a simple gathering.

It was a much anticipated day when all the eight of us, four guys and four girls (Another six couldn't make it as they are currently based in Alor Star, Taiping, Pahang and Malacca) met up at Bukit Mertajam yesterday (Don't ask me why they chose this place). We toured around the whole place from about 3pm till 12 midnight and during that period of time, we went to five different locations to eat! Other than hawker food, we went to Tambun for seafood. After that, the next stop was Auto-City. We went to SOHO for a drink, explored the area where a car carnival was held and moved on to Old Town to bitch about our stories.

The different types of food we had were just "so-so", but the gathering was not so much about the food. The greatest part about the get-together was we managed to gather eight people from different places together. We reminisced a bit on what we did previously at Uni, followed by lots of complaints regarding our workplaces. Each of us had our own story to share. There was a question frequently heard throughout our simple gathering. "How did you spend your time during your first week of work?"

"I wish I could find a guy now and get married tomorrow so that I don't need to work at this stupid place anymore" LF complained. She was obviously facing a lot of stress and difficulties at work.

Our group has always been the sarcastic, loud and noisy type back at Uni, not to mention the free flow of vulgar words. But after started working, we have to get used to a lower voice tone and must talk politely at office. So after keeping everything in ourselves for three weeks, we exploded SOHO and Old Town with loud voices and laughter. The other patrons thought we were uneducated grown ups with attitude problems. Hehe.

"Wahh...it's so nice to be able to talk loudly and laugh as much as I want again" said J who currently works at a super huge MNC.

"You mean you can't talk or even laugh in the office?" I asked.

"No. Nobody talks there. My office is so fcuked. If I want to talk to the person next to my cubicle, I have to message him by using messenger" J complained.

The rest of them complained about other funny office cultures at their workplaces. I had my own story to share too, but not so much of a complaint. I thought to myself that I should consider myself lucky to be able to "breathe" and do other things comfortably at work without feeling the pressure from weird office cultures.

As we laughed and talked, time flies and it was time to say our goodbyes. When we were still studying, we didn't appreciate those moments spent together but now that we're outside working, the feeling is really different. We discussed on a few future gathering plans before we left to go home. I'm definitely looking forward to the next meet up.

"Handsome" girls

When I was fourteen, there was a time when I (and a few friends) had some kind of confusion in terms of sexuality. We thought we were abnormal! It happened when I joined a gang of female friends together with many other girls from another school for a camping activity at the Girl Guides headquarters. During the four days three nights activity, my friends and I realised something unusual about ourselves. We didn't talk much about any cute boys but we spent lots of time ogling at and gossiping about a "handsome" girl.

She was indeed "handsome" and "strong"...erm, I don't know how to describe further but she really appeared that way. Nothing much happened but at the end of the camping activity, one of my friends gathered enough guts to do something silly. She gave the "handsome" girl a lovely handicraft and said, "I like you" sort of thing. Back then, it was really a little too confusing to understand why a girl would do such a thing to another girl. I was a bit confused too because that girl was really...erm, "handsome".

That was many-many years ago. I've never told anyone about that kind of confusion I experienced when I was younger but when I met a female friend recently (she's around my age and she's my mum's colleague), I noticed that I'm perfectly normal. Hehe.

How would you feel when another girl tells you, "Hey, you're so cute lah. I like you. If only my girlfriend can be as sporting as you..."? Eeuwww....I didn't know she was a lesbian when we first acquainted. There's obviously nothing wrong to befriend a lesbian but when she goes overboard with explicit acts as though she wants to "eat" or own you, then you really need to watch out. That lesbian friend's scary stares and funny words were enough to make my knees weak! ...thank God, she has decided to go elsewhere to further studies.

I don't know why but I seem to always attract "handsome" girls. Well, they do look good but since I'm 100% straight, I feel weird being surrounded by girls like them. There are two "handsome" girls at my workplace. I dealt with both of them before and....they're really that type of girls! Usually, they would look at girls from top to bottom and you can even see them drooling. Eeuuwww...

I'm not discriminating lesbians or "handsome" girls but how do I avoid them without making harsh remarks? Damn. It's just so hard! I appreciate all the attentions I get but oh pleeassseee! I don't need any kind of attention from those of the same sex! Yerrr....

Anti-kids cineplexes

Kids under the age of 12 (or maybe 10) should be banned from entering a cinema, unless they don't behave like monkeys!

I know this sounds discriminating and I might be complaining against this irrelevant regulation when I have my own kids next time, but hey, who would like catching a movie at the cinema together with annoying monkeys? Erm, I actually like kids (The well-behaved ones, of course!) but when some parents who lack proper parenting skills (and obviously have no cow sense!) decided to bring along their chimpanzees, the cinema would eventually turn into a zoo!

These are the things I experienced previously at a few cineplexes. I was so engrossed with a scene in the movies when...

* A monkey decided to scream, "Mummmmyyyy!! I want milk-milk!"

* An inquisitive monkey used up all the vocabulary in his little brain to ask annoying questions like, "Where is Spiderman?", "Where is Mr.Bean?", "Where is Mummy?", "Where is orang gila?", etc. (Those were just the "where" questions. The little monster continued with the "who" and "why" questions after that.)

* A cute monkey decided to comb my hair....of all things, with her sticky hands! Eeeuuww...(She had some popcorn in her other hand!)

* A monkey decided to steal the limelight as he started singing irritating songs he learned from Barney and friends.

* The wails of a baby monkey (This is obviously the inconsiderate mother's fault!)

* An irresponsible father gave the little monkey his handphone to play with. (The mobile was not even on silent mode!)

* The running commentary mother. She told her kids what happened to the hero in the movie with intervals of every few minutes.


Those were just a few examples of monkeys in the cinema. So, monkeys should be banned from entering cinemas. Only well-behaved kids deserve to enter.

Is pink the wrong colour?

My office is located exactly above the production area. This means that I need to walk pass the production floor each day just to get to my cubicle. Apart from that, I usually need to go to certain areas within the production floor, either to check on faulty/rejected parts or to get quotation from/discuss with engineers.

As required by the top management, all employees must wear new shoes or slippers within the premises. So, I bought myself one but since mine is not the "super-boring and traditional black coloured boots", it seems that I've attracted unwanted stares and attention. Don't believe me? Have a look at it here. Mine looks just about the same, albeit pink in colour. (I don't really like pink but I bought it anyway coz it's cute and comfy.)

Initially, I was uncomfortable with so much of attention on my pink-coloured shoes (Or was it me who attracted so much of attention and not my shoes? HEhehe!). But now, I guess I've gotten used to it. Perhaps, I'm just as normal as any other women. We're attention seekers! (Disclaimer: Not all lah) Hehehe.

By the way, what's so wrong with wearing a pink coloured "boots" or shoes at the production floor?