Wednesday, September 07, 2005

The Purring Magnet

Do you like cats? I used to like cats but now, I just hate them. Between cats and dogs, I would prefer a dog! Coz I think cats are stupid, useless and annoying. Sorry to cat lovers…but I just can’t help it!

Ever encountered any cats doing their ‘big or small’ businesses under or near an umbrella?? Never?? All right, I guess I was ‘very lucky’ to have these ugly and dirty felines shitting and urinating under my umbrella last semester! And because of that, I had to buy another 2 umbrellas. Damn!!

It all happened when I left my wet umbrella outside my hostel room after a heavy downpour. So, the wandering cats found my blue coloured umbrella attractive and interesting enough to be their shade for doing businesses. Well, maybe the cats of the 21st century are so different that they too, would be shy while doing businesses! Blah!! As I was in desperate need for an umbrella to brave through the rainy season, I did something unexpected! No…I didn’t kill or torture those cats but I WASHED my umbrella!!! WTH?? Washing an umbrella with Breeze colour??? LOL…

Another reason for hating cats is the annoying noises they make DAILY. The cats here at my hostel block have high sex drives! I’m not kidding but it’s just so damn true! I realized that the cats here enjoy a non-stop whole semester of mating season. Firstly, you’ll hear an uncontrollable moaning from these cats, like as if there’s a porn movie shooting ghost hunting ceremony or something. Then you’ll see the female cats getting pregnant one after another. After giving birth, they’ll soon become irresponsible mothers by leaving the kittens at one corner, while they continue their competition of chasing after the about-to-extinct male cats to get sextified. And the whole sex-pregnant-kittens scene repeats over and over again…it’s just a vicious cycle!

These cats here suffer from severe body odour (BO). Even if you don’t suffer from BO, you might possibly smell like a cat if you were to walk past the cats here. So, it’s rather useless to apply any deodorant or perfume! Just to be safe and not smelling like a cat, I must avoid walking past these cats all the time!

Hmmm…Did I do something bad to any cat last time that all these cats seem to be so attracted to me now?? Ahhh…yes! I remember that there’s once when I made a cat committed suicide!! LOL…

I was about 14 years old when the cat ‘committed suicide’ at my previous apartment! It made annoying noises when I was in the dreamland. I peeped through the windows and saw a black cat sitting on the wall along the corridor, overlooking a panoramic view of the sea. I spotted that feline, and slowly crawled out of my unit. When I was only a few centimeters away from it, I suddenly stood up and gave it a big surprise shock!

“CHAK!!!! Surprise..!!”

Initially, I thought that cat would be smart enough to run away (along the corridor) but I over-estimated it! It was too stupid until it decided to jump down from the fifth floor. I was dumbstruck!!

“OMG!!! Did I just kill a cat????? Is it dead??? Ohh…Please don’t die!!”

I quickly went down to have a check on the cat but it ran away the moment it saw me. I assumed that the cat was ok since that it could still recognize me and ran away. So, I guess the felines could identify me and want to revenge for their cat friend who committed suicide years ago! Haha…

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