The dark valley

I often find myself a complicated person but after encountering certain people, heard some stories and seen several real-life “dramas”, I began to realize that I could actually be quite a simple person, albeit still a tad complicated. Nahh…I’m not self-praising here, you need not look at me like that!

Having seen, heard and gone through quite a lot of things over the months and years, I started asking myself silly questions of whether I would be a victim of such circumstances. I would obviously be fooling myself if I said no. Of course I could still fill myself with lots of faith but what about the people around me (I’m not referring to my family), e.g. the society? Honestly speaking, it’s really quite saddening to declare that I’ve probably seen, heard and experienced (maybe not much of experience lah!) too much until I find it difficult to comprehend two words, trustworthy and faithfulness.

These days, I really find it hard to see those two words in people around me, especially people of the opposite gender. Of course, there are exceptions to what I mentioned but there are obviously too many people who have fallen into the dark valley. I’m not being judgmental or simply assuming things but the current mindset has really gone to the extent of - with just a few spoilt apples in a basket, the whole basket would be thrown away.

All the while, I take this issue very lightly but as I grow older, I don’t know why I’ve become quite sensitive to it. Well, it makes sense that no sane person would want to fall victims to such circumstances but the only certain thing in life is uncertainty. Uncertainty gives no assurance to any form of worries or questions but no matter how, we still need to digest the horrible truth of the things around us. Ugly isn’t it? Whether one is naïve or not, aware or ignorant, smart or acting dumb, for goodness’ sake, we still need to be realistic!

With all that, I reckon I might have unknowingly established a self-defensive technique, with a big shell to prevent myself from getting into any untoward problems for quite some time now. In a way, it’s good as I could focus on other much more important things. Well, you may say that avoiding won’t help but I guess I’m just not ready to even join the other spectators in such games yet. I’ve got much better things to do than to ponder over the neverending issue and also the ever worrying two words – trustworthy and faithfulness. Maybe, just maybe one day I will find the two words in someone. (See? I have faith!) Even if I don’t, I won’t die lah! (I’m just being realistic, mind you!) I’ve got way too many things to do than to worry about that!

Don’t ever tell me that I’ve been thinking too much coz this issue has been lurking around ever since I learned to talk! It’s either you’re too ignorant or naïve to realize its existence. Heh.