10.14pm
I was busy doing my assignment when Mum called. I spoke to her over the phone the night before and it was very unusual of her to call again just for our usual girl talk. So I suspected bad news, but I didn’t expect it to be that one.
“I’ve got a piece of bad news. No CNY celebration again this year. Grandpa passed away just now at 9.10pm…” Mum said in between tears and there was absolute silence after that.
I was expecting Mum to say other bad news, like my request to visit her workplace for my final year project was not approved, or she threw my beloved dog teddy bear into the washing machine and it “died”, or she broke my earrings, or found this blog…just anything else except anything about grandpa or anyone in the family.
I really don’t know what to do now. Can’t even concentrate on my assignment.
I asked Mum what happened and she said he fell down yesterday and today (7th February). Mum wasn’t there with him during his final moments. He fell down in the bathroom and my youngest uncle was there. Grandpa just hugged him, sigh….and left us.
I feel so bad that I couldn’t even fulfill grandpa’s simple last wish weeks before his demise. All he wanted was to take a family photo with all of us; his wife, children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren during my cousin sister’s wedding but I wasn’t there. I couldn’t attend her wedding as I was in Uni. Ahhh…I should have left everything behind to attend the wedding. At least I could see him and fulfill his last wish.
Now, it’s worse. I can’t even see him for the last time. I can’t go back this week as I have tests, assignments and workshops! Ahhhh…damn! I feel so bad… The last time I saw him was months ago….
Even though I’m not really close to my maternal grandfather or my extended family, he’s the only grandfather I have after the demise of my paternal grandfather in 2005. Oh God! I feel so terrible that I’m over here in the jungle and not there with my family members in times like this. It breaks my heart to hear Mum crying over the phone. I wish I could help to do something for grandpa and the family but looks like I have to face the bad news alone here.
…Seriously, I don’t even mind if I had to endure many bad days just like what I went through the other day or cut my life shorter or get unwanted breakouts, anything...just as long as my family members are safe and healthy…but on second thought, I know grandpa has gone to a place which is far better for him coz he’s not suffering anymore. I’m sure he’s in good hands now.
10.30am
**I wish to go back to pay my last respect. Just hope that I could reschedule my UBS workshop to Saturday. *Prays*
5.30pm
***I'm back to Penang but I'm going back to the jungle tomorrow....Damn tiring...
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