Tuesday, June 13, 2006

What's your ambition?

**DAmn. Japan lost! *sobs*

"So, what would you like to be when you grow up?" That's a popular question back in school. I never had a clear answer to the question as I have always been a fickle-minded person.

I started with the fascination to be a doctor, a cardiologist to be exact. I thought it would be great to earn a lot in a meaningful way as I would get to save lives. Well, the fascination might probably be due to the fact that I chatted with the smart looking surgeons at mum's working place too much. Hehe. When I realised I needed at least seven years just to get MBBS, I chickened out. "Seven years would be too long...and by then, I would probably be an old unmarried bitch!" I reckoned. Besides, the prospects of marrying someone of the same profession is too high. So, I changed my mind and chose something easier.

I followed some idiots and wanted to be a teacher. Haha. I know I'll never be one. The teaching profession isn't my cup of tea. It's not challenging enough for a person like me. Next, the whole ambition thingy changed again. I wanted to be a fashion designer! (Go ahead and laugh! I know it sounds funny! *rolls eyes*) I'm not fashionable. I've never been one, but I could sketch gowns and clothes. (Too bad I don't have a scanner. Or else, I could just show those sketches here!) I read fashion articles. I got too obsessed and went scouting for universities in Paris and New York. DAmn. I had even mailed a real life fashion designer when I was about fourteen. Stupid. I didn't know I would really do such thing. Haha. Anyway, I ditched the idea of being a fashion designer. I knew I can never be one. I'm just too realistic. Besides, I hate a glamourous life.

After that, I had the thoughts of being an accountant. I reckoned it would be great as I'll be earning at least RM5k per month. Since I've always been good at numbers, I gave myself a try. Later, I realised I would need to look at numbers for the rest of my life. So, I didn't choose Account Studies in Form Six coz I knew exactly what I wanted. I knew I would get bored easily.

Until today, I never thought I would ever step into the business line. It's probably a twist of fate, or my life's just weird. I used to hate the Business Section in the local dailies but now, I can't stop myself from reading it. I've been like this since don't know when. Never thought I would be studying anything related to Science also, but I studied Physics and Basic Engineering in my previous semesters. Funny, isn't it?

Somehow, I've a feeling that everything is really predestined. Maybe, it might just be a personal belief. It's just fated. I never chose this University but I got an offer. I never wanted to do this major, but I was given a place. I never thought I would be drafting and drawing by using AutoCAD but somehow, that's what I'm doing now. Drawing or designing has been something I really liked when I was younger. I've always had interest in buildings, properties to be exact. And now, I could see a clearer picture why I'm in that University, studying something I've never heard about. I could actually link up all the things I have interest in. I could now draft and design the layout or floorplan of my own home (or any other properties) with my skills in AutoCAD. I could still get myself involved in properties and business. So, actually I'm not very far from what I've always dreamed of...hopefully.

If given a chance to turn back time, I might consider entering Science stream and could possibly further my tertiary education majoring in architecture. Haha. I could be an architect actually, but I chose a different path. I've always had too many big plans in my mind. After the first semester in University, I thought I chose the wrong path. I thought I'll never be able to change back to the right path. I regretted. I was very sad. Now, I think the roads I've chosen are linked, in a way because all the while, I knew what I wanted. I believe in one thing now. No matter how far I've strayed away from my plans, the vital point is having the faith in my own self. I may not be as successful or as rich as others, but the satisfaction is definitely there.

Damn. Have I talked too much here? I'm not even employed yet! Hah! Aihh...got too carried away already. Anyway, I'll publish some of the pics of the AutoCAD project I did previously in my next post. Stay tuned...

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