When I read this over and over again, I asked myself a silly question. Do I really need a replacement to forget you? I know that no matter how you will have a special place at a corner of my heart but life still has to go on. I can’t be thinking of you in each and every second anymore though you are really a great influence and inspiration. I’m strong enough to go through months of silence but do I really need a replacement?
Without your calls and smses, life has been very dull, empty and seems meaningless. It’s sad to recall back anything about you but I just can’t help it. You have been all over my brain all the while, from the moment I open my eyes till the moment I shut them. Now, I have to tell myself not to think of you so much anymore but when certain songs are played, I think of you again. I would think and wonder what you’ve been up to lately. “What’s your latest project? Are you still the important person in a particular project just like the one you told me before?” Recently, I asked a 29 years old friend’s opinion and he said that the only cure is to get a replacement. So, does getting a replacement really helps to stop me from thinking of you too much?
After the disappointed ending between us, I did try to open my eyes and heart to other men but I just can’t see anyone like you. I’m not trying to compare them with you but it’s just that you really match the criteria of my guy type. And it’s not just because of the criteria matching issue. It’s also not the matter of being handsome or not (he’s not handsome actually), it’s just that you appeared very different from the other men I know. I asked many other friends’ opinion on this replacement issue. One of them asked me, “If you have found a replacement and accepted the new man as your other half, would you let him go if He comes back to you?” I was really puzzled. I don’t know how to answer her question.
In most cases, women hardly accept back a man who turns his back on her. That includes me but I really don’t know. I know that deep down inside my heart, there’s clear evidence that I’m still very much into you. It’s just the fact that I’ve been trying my best not to reveal it. If you were to come back to me, I would definitely be very glad but will you really come back to me? The answer is NO. I wanted to be fair to the other men who showed interest in me but I just can’t. They are just not the same. I wouldn’t want to cheat myself or other men about the feelings. I don’t want to waste my own time. I don’t want to waste other people’s time too.
I just don’t understand. Why must you enter my life for such a short period of time, showering me with a temporary love, care and attention? If we were not meant for each other, then why must you exist in my life? Sometimes, I just wish that God would grant me my selfish wish of having you back. You needn’t be my other half, I just want you to be happy all the time and show a little care for me. I want to continue to keep in touch with you. I want you to be the special someone on my coming birthday.
I also realized that I have strong feelings for you but sometimes, the feelings become hatred. From hatred, I’ll start to think again and I’d eventually begin to miss you. The mixture of like, hate and miss is really too strong and empowering that I can’t do anything much to reduce this combination feelings. I want to try to forget you, so I tried hating you but I just can’t. I tried deleting your hand phone number too but I didn’t do it. Even the months of silence can’t make me hate you, making me feeling useless and hopeless. Sometimes, I just hate the fact that I can’t control myself. Can’t even start by hating you.
All I know is that, your face and images are slowly fading away from my brain. I can’t remember how beautiful your eyes were when I looked into your eyes. I can’t recall how tall you were when you stood beside me. I can’t recall the sweet smile you gave me when we met. I can’t remember the colour of the tie you wore on the day we met. I can’t remember how cool and stylish your hair was when you talked to me. I’ve also forgotten the firmness and secure feelings of your right palm when we shook hands. All these things that I once stored in my brain as important facts are slowly fading away but no matter how, I know that I will never forget you.
Last night was my first night back in the jungle. I brought the memories of you back there too. I felt great having you, the memories of you playing around in my brain, accompanying me there but somehow, I also realized that I cannot continue to be like this. As I kept myself busy thinking about my new semester, I doze off. Then I saw you. You walked up to me and said hello. I was speechless. You held my hands and looked into my eyes through your spectacles. I was near to tears but also very confused. You told me that you’ve never left me. You said that you’ve always been there, just that I didn’t notice you. It was just unexplainable. You smiled and hugged me. I was shocked. Too shocked until I couldn’t even utter a single word but I knew that I was smiling as tears rolled down my chubby cheeks. All those were just a dream. No matter how much I wanted the dream to be real, a dream will always remain as a dream. If a dream were something that brings indescribable feelings and tears of joy, I’d rather stay in my dreams forever so that I could be with you.
Time. People says that time will eventually heal up everything. It has been months now but I am still thinking of you. Do you still think of me? I doubt…but sometimes, I really love to daydream and recall back every single thing about you. The way you talked. The way you laughed. The way you presented yourself with much confidence. You really had a great influence on me that I regard you as someone sent to me by God. You came to me at the right time but left after you ‘saved’ me. Though it was just a short period of time, I’ll never regret or forget those moments when we were ‘more than friends’.
Without your calls and smses, life has been very dull, empty and seems meaningless. It’s sad to recall back anything about you but I just can’t help it. You have been all over my brain all the while, from the moment I open my eyes till the moment I shut them. Now, I have to tell myself not to think of you so much anymore but when certain songs are played, I think of you again. I would think and wonder what you’ve been up to lately. “What’s your latest project? Are you still the important person in a particular project just like the one you told me before?” Recently, I asked a 29 years old friend’s opinion and he said that the only cure is to get a replacement. So, does getting a replacement really helps to stop me from thinking of you too much?
After the disappointed ending between us, I did try to open my eyes and heart to other men but I just can’t see anyone like you. I’m not trying to compare them with you but it’s just that you really match the criteria of my guy type. And it’s not just because of the criteria matching issue. It’s also not the matter of being handsome or not (he’s not handsome actually), it’s just that you appeared very different from the other men I know. I asked many other friends’ opinion on this replacement issue. One of them asked me, “If you have found a replacement and accepted the new man as your other half, would you let him go if He comes back to you?” I was really puzzled. I don’t know how to answer her question.
In most cases, women hardly accept back a man who turns his back on her. That includes me but I really don’t know. I know that deep down inside my heart, there’s clear evidence that I’m still very much into you. It’s just the fact that I’ve been trying my best not to reveal it. If you were to come back to me, I would definitely be very glad but will you really come back to me? The answer is NO. I wanted to be fair to the other men who showed interest in me but I just can’t. They are just not the same. I wouldn’t want to cheat myself or other men about the feelings. I don’t want to waste my own time. I don’t want to waste other people’s time too.
I just don’t understand. Why must you enter my life for such a short period of time, showering me with a temporary love, care and attention? If we were not meant for each other, then why must you exist in my life? Sometimes, I just wish that God would grant me my selfish wish of having you back. You needn’t be my other half, I just want you to be happy all the time and show a little care for me. I want to continue to keep in touch with you. I want you to be the special someone on my coming birthday.
I also realized that I have strong feelings for you but sometimes, the feelings become hatred. From hatred, I’ll start to think again and I’d eventually begin to miss you. The mixture of like, hate and miss is really too strong and empowering that I can’t do anything much to reduce this combination feelings. I want to try to forget you, so I tried hating you but I just can’t. I tried deleting your hand phone number too but I didn’t do it. Even the months of silence can’t make me hate you, making me feeling useless and hopeless. Sometimes, I just hate the fact that I can’t control myself. Can’t even start by hating you.
All I know is that, your face and images are slowly fading away from my brain. I can’t remember how beautiful your eyes were when I looked into your eyes. I can’t recall how tall you were when you stood beside me. I can’t recall the sweet smile you gave me when we met. I can’t remember the colour of the tie you wore on the day we met. I can’t remember how cool and stylish your hair was when you talked to me. I’ve also forgotten the firmness and secure feelings of your right palm when we shook hands. All these things that I once stored in my brain as important facts are slowly fading away but no matter how, I know that I will never forget you.
Last night was my first night back in the jungle. I brought the memories of you back there too. I felt great having you, the memories of you playing around in my brain, accompanying me there but somehow, I also realized that I cannot continue to be like this. As I kept myself busy thinking about my new semester, I doze off. Then I saw you. You walked up to me and said hello. I was speechless. You held my hands and looked into my eyes through your spectacles. I was near to tears but also very confused. You told me that you’ve never left me. You said that you’ve always been there, just that I didn’t notice you. It was just unexplainable. You smiled and hugged me. I was shocked. Too shocked until I couldn’t even utter a single word but I knew that I was smiling as tears rolled down my chubby cheeks. All those were just a dream. No matter how much I wanted the dream to be real, a dream will always remain as a dream. If a dream were something that brings indescribable feelings and tears of joy, I’d rather stay in my dreams forever so that I could be with you.
Time. People says that time will eventually heal up everything. It has been months now but I am still thinking of you. Do you still think of me? I doubt…but sometimes, I really love to daydream and recall back every single thing about you. The way you talked. The way you laughed. The way you presented yourself with much confidence. You really had a great influence on me that I regard you as someone sent to me by God. You came to me at the right time but left after you ‘saved’ me. Though it was just a short period of time, I’ll never regret or forget those moments when we were ‘more than friends’.
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