Thursday, September 07, 2006

Need a boost for self-esteem?

How often do you look at yourself in the mirror and see your own self-image, internally and externally? I do that quite often. It’s a habit I guess. At times, I do get annoyed and angry with myself. At other times, I would try to view myself from many other angles and this practice has some sort of benefits actually. You’ll love yourself more if you ever found anything interesting about yourself. Think about it.

Recently, I took almost an hour to scribble down some personal dreams, ambitions and goals for the next couple of years. I’m not going to copy-paste them here as they are truly very personal, but I’m encouraging you to do the same thing. I’m convinced by Zig Ziglar’s method after reading his book. He said, we should be clear of what we want and as we write them out, we eliminate ambiguity…which is very true to me. And the most important thing he highlighted was, the first step in doing almost anything: Taking Action.

Many of us wait till the arrival of a strong push to do something. That is very passive. If you have all the plans in mind, it’s a good thing. But if you’re not making any moves, the plans will only follow you into the coffin when your soul leaves the body one day. The plans are dead. We’re the ones to activate and give them lives, and fulfill them. Sound simple, isn’t it? Easier said than done.

I’ve seen, met and known many people who “kill” themselves each day with the negative thoughts. If you say you can’t do it, it’s obvious you’ve self-perceived yourself as useless and someone who really cannot do it. A good example would be Gorilla. She’s my roommate’s close friend and also her second ex-roommate. Gorilla comes to my room a few times each day and I really hate to welcome a super irritating bitch, noisy, big-sized and a very negative person into my room. (I’ll blog specifically about her next time.)

This is what she likes to say. “Die-lah! It’s almost 12am but I still don’t know what I’m reading. No mood to study leh. I’m a goner in tomorrow’s exam. I wonder I could get a C or not.” And then, she continues yakking on inane stuff.

See the example above? It only indicates that she’s a loser. When you only have limited time left for whichever battle (exams, presentations, interviews, whatever), then you should really fully utilise the available time with maximum productivity rather than wasting your time on negative thoughts. Time is worth more than money and by killing time we are killing our own chances for success. If you keep saying “Die-lah”, then I’m sure you’re already prepared to die even before the battle starts. That makes you a loser even before you enter the battlefield. Shame on you! (I have lots of examples actually. I see and deal with these people everyday in Uni. Perhaps, I should blog about them next time.)

I believe each of us is born with certain abilities and potentials. All we need to do is to search for them, recognize what you’re good at, and polish them. In some cases, we could actually learn the abilities and further enhance our skills. So, why should we limit ourselves to certain things, and put the blame on hereditary factors? If you can’t do something, it’s not your parents’ fault for passing down those genes you perceived to be the cause of your failure! It’s all in you. So, don’t be such an idiot to blame the surroundings and heredity when you yourself are actually a loser!

Anyways, I’ve identified a few (many!) characteristics and concepts that are vital in order to achieve the 18 (more to come) very detailed personal dreams, ambitions and goals I listed earlier. Some are only applicable to yours truly but the rest could be useful to you too. Some of them are actually linked to each other. So, consider applying them in your life and see the difference for yourself. (I’m not joking!)

Remember:

-Learning is a lifelong thing. Knowledge is important. There’s no end to it.

-Always emphasise on self-improvement, self-upgradation and be progressive.

-Always try to fully utilize the potentials you have, preferably use it as much as you can!

-Never be comfortable with mediocrity. Always try to reach the maximum, highest or best outcomes.

-Always put in 100% effort in anything you do. If possible, contribute 101% effort. The satisfaction is there. The outcome would only make you love yourself more. And you’ll also realize that you could actually do something beyond your expectations.

-Always strive for the best performance in anything you do. If you’re not passionate on what you’re doing and are doing it half-heartedly, you might as well don’t do it!

- Once you’re stuck at the comfort zone, you’ll start to slow down. Productivity level will deteriorate. This would only make you feel useless. So, get your ass out of the comfort zone!

-Control your own emotions, anything you dislike could be changed and controlled. Make yourself love something and you’ll do well in it. (Note: I’m not asking you to love someone you hate! Just put yourself in their shoes and be thankful you’re not like that! If you hate certain tasks, make yourself love it and you’ll eventually perform better. I’ve tried this method before and it really works.)

-Patience is virtue. Ignore idiots. Why should you be angry over morons? You’ll only be scarred with negative effects…you’ll age even faster, with premature wrinkles and pigmentation!! Oh no! (No wonder I could still tolerate my “dear” roommate! *Grins*)

-High need for achievement and power. (According to David McClelland) Those are the essentials to climb the corporate ladder.

-Identify the opportunities that come knocking on your door and grab them. Don’t miss the chances and regret later. Nothing is more satisfying than succeeding in the opportunities you seized.

-Always self-reward yourself for personal achievements. It’ll spur you to go further the next time. It’s a simple concept of positive reinforcements.

-Internal locus of control. Believe in yourself. Invest in yourself as you’re just like a high-priced stock! It’s all in you. Kill the devil in you and you’ll be on your way to achieve whatever you want.

-Only do beneficial things, as whichever non-beneficial things you do, they’ll only leave the negative impacts on yourself. It has nothing to do with other people. It’s all about you doing things that favours or destructs yourself.

-Money speaks. You’re just being realistic, not materialistic because you earn it with your own effort. Materialism only applies to those who crave to be supported with materials from another person. There’s only one word to describe them. Useless.

-Avoid naysayers and negative people. Just as long as you know you’re positively driven, ignore them. (No wonder I’ve avoided and ignored so many people all these years!)

-Everything lies in your own hands. You either shape it or destroy it, your choice.

-We don’t plan to fail, but we fail to plan. The planning step would be useless if there are no actions taken.

-Admire successful role models that bring positive strengths.

-Avoid saying “no” or “I can’t” before you do anything. Substitute with statements like, “If others could do it, why can’t I do it?”

-Be self-disciplined and strong-willed. Stick to the rules and principles you set for yourself.

-Perseverance. Must be determined to do anything without deviating from the goals you set.

-Proper time management. Plan your time and prioritize so that you won’t end up doing non-beneficial things until you become a useless piece of shit or a pure loser.


Wow. This post is too long already. I’m off. Ciao. Have fun playing with those concepts and get your self-esteem boosted! =)

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