The Hidden Banana

I was five. I was at the Gama Supermarket with my parents and brother. As my parents were busy choosing clothes at the men’s department, my brother and I decided to play hide and seek. My brother went into hiding while I search for him in a place full of adults. The whole place was really crowded, making the searching task a difficult one, as I was only a tiny ‘midget’ compared to the other homosapiens there.

I went around the whole department, searching here and there. Even searched at the men’s toilet! Phew! Luckily the toilet was empty. If not, I might be suffering from an eye infection at a very young age for having accidentally seen someone’s or a few people’s banana(s)! Then I might have to spend a night in a lock-up for being a juvenile pervert. Wow!! Be a juvenile pervert at the age of five?? Blah!! Sure get to enter our very own useless, copycat records ala US, Malaysian Book of Stupid Records.

Ok, back to hunting for my mischievous and cheeky-looking brother. I looked here and there, even under people’s skirts! Oops! Not skirts but the cabinets or trolleys of clothes (don’t know what it’s called lah)…but I still couldn’t find my brother. Then, I suddenly saw a boy. He was wearing a brown coloured T-shirt, which looked just like my brother’s. I couldn’t see the boy’s face as I saw him from behind but I was almost certain that he was my brother. So, I followed him from behind and saw him walking towards a row of changing rooms. He went into one of the rooms but I don’t know which one as the place was too crowded for a little cute girl to see things clearly.

I went to the corner of the men’s department where the row of changing rooms was located. There were five rooms altogether with old and dirty curtains to cover naked people or rather people who went to try clothes from being seen. All rooms were occupied. So, I tried my luck with the first room. I pulled open the curtain of the first changing room. The first thing I saw was a big fat ‘thing’ protruding from a man’s brief with unzipped pants! (I didn’t purposely look at his hidden banana ok! I was only five and still very short like as if I lack nutrients. I just looked straight and there it was, a big thing, which I later recognized as a banana belonging only to boys and men).

So, I pulled open the curtain of the first changing room in the men’s department. I saw a man (an uncle I think, I can’t remember how he looked like) with his pants halfway up, unzipped and a very big sized banana protruding from his underwear. Gosh!! My brother wasn’t inside. I felt guilty and scared. I said, “Oh-uh, SORRY!!” and I ran away as fast as possible, fearing that the man might catch me and hand me over to the security guards. I ran back to my parents and saw my brother there. He was giggling non-stop.

“Why are you laughing?? What’s so funny?”

“I’m going to tell mummy that you saw a naked man!! Nyek! Nyek! Nyek!”

“No…please don’t!! I promise to do anything for you just as long as you don’t tell mummy ok?”

Still giggling, but he promised not to say anything. So, I became my brother’s unofficial ‘slave’ for a week just to keep his mouth shut. The secret was kept for years. Anyway, I finally told my parents about the whole embarrassing but funny discovery about the half naked man with his hidden banana a few years back. Just like my brother, both my parents burst out laughing non-stop.

The moral of the story is “Never play hide and seek at the men’s department. It would definitely be much more interesting to play at the women’s department!” =P