Should I lodge a police report???

First, it was my neighbour. Now, it's an orang utan! What the hell???

Case 1:
About twenty one years ago, my idiotic lovely neighbour gave birth to a healthy baby girl two weeks before I greet the world. As the Lims were plain stupid had no creativity ran out of ideas, the little girl was given the name ******. Coincidentally, that name was supposed to be mine as Dad's French friend had earlier suggested it when I was merely a few months old in the comfortable womb. To cut the story short, the Lims had stolen my name!!! Knowing that they've stolen a cute little girl's name, they ran to Ipoh or KL to hide and never return ever since! And poor me, I only get to use that name as my nick on MSN now and not as my official one as in the Identification Card. So, love thy neighbour??? Erm, sorry but how to love them when they are thieves??? *sheesh*

Case 2:
About two hours ago, I just got back from somewhere and thought it would be great to read the newspaper before I take a short nap. I reckoned I would be reading something interesting, like the case of the nude ear squats and the lame comments by some bigshots regarding the naked lady and witnesses or the superb achievements of YTL corporation in the business section. BUT, I was really shocked to see the front page of The Star coz my REAL name (as in my Identification Card) was published! Initially, I thought it must be some lousy copycats who used my name for commercial purposes as they considered it glamour, so to speak. BUT...BUT, *gasp* the name belongs to an orang utan!! OMG!!

So, now my questions are:

1. Should I lodge a police report?? (Hello?? My name has been stolen, TWICE!!)
2. Oh yea, I'm definitely much CUTER than the orang utan right?? No?? (Gosh! Maybe my parents found an orang utan me wandering around and picked me up from a nearby jungle and not from a reeking trash area with lots of creepy-crawlies!)
   
3. *Sobs*Am I an orang utan?? No?? Worst case scenario: I'm a hybrid species between the orang utans and human beings?? Eeuuww... Errr, I know it's rather impossible but it COULD be possible! So, who's to be blamed?? Mum or Dad?? *grins*
   

Hmm...I really need to have a serious talk with my parents now. No joke.

Be Right Back!