Lesson of the day

Today's lesson is about a familiar word in our lives. COMPARE.

So, do you compare yourself with the others out there, your peers, family members or colleagues? Ever since young, everyone around me loves to compare. I personally hate this word. This poisonous word often generates hatred and jealousy. And it's the main reason behind the warfare in certain parts of the globe today.

I confess I'm a victim of this word too. No, I don't like to compare but people just loves to compare, either themselves or the other people around them with me. Some of them are extended (so-called) family members, friends, acquaintances, course mates, past histories (men in my life), etc. So, what is actually wrong with all these people?? Can't they pass each day without comparing??

I dislike anyone who loves to compare. So what if you're richer? So what if you're pretty/handsome? So what if you're popular? So what if you get better grades in exam? So what if you come from a popular school? So what if you managed to enter an ivy league university? So what if you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? Whatever you have now might not last forever. Whatever you have now can never follow you into the coffin when you leave this world. You were born naked. You will die just the same way.

Each of us enter this world with different missions in life. With differing objectives and perception, we live life our own way. Some may think that wealth is everything while the others may prefer happiness. So what's the point of comparing??

Be realistic. I would say grow up if I need to. What you (we) used to compare back in school days can never be the same anymore. You might have compared yourself to someone else, and think that you're much better off than him/her today. But, how do you define better?? Does the word "better" have any quantitative value? Can we apply the hypothesis testing or do some feasibility studies on that word itself?? No. It's just what you believe. It's just a way to feel better or fool yourself when you blindly compare yourself to the other person again.

So, why do you (or we) like to compare? Can't we just leave that 'comparing habit' after we've stepped out of school?? Until today, I could still feel the effects of that word. Because of all those people who have once compared (or are still comparing) themselves or other people with me, I've changed. Luckily, it's a positive change. Well, I wouldn't elaborate much on how the word has changed me but this word is truly poisonous.

Thanks to the education system and trend of comparing, I used to compare myself to other people, mostly peers. It gets stressful when I started comparing weird things. Even though I compare less these days, I could still sense the habit of comparing around me. I have a so-called auntie who loves to compare her kids with me. Everytime I meet her, she'll say this. "Wahhh, you're so smart. I WILL make sure my kids get such results for their major exams. Or else, I'll kick them out of the house". Poor kids. I really pity her kids. Just because of her mentality, her kids have to endure the ugly side of childhood and adolescence.

There's another one who loves to compare. He is dad's colleague's son. He's an ex-schoolmate in Primary School. He is just like his father. Both of them love to brag and compare. He's currently studying in one of the not-so-popular universities in US. I found his blog recently and he's still the same after so many years. He's comparing his university to the local ones here. Ok, I respect his freedom to blog but there's something I don't like about his father. Everytime when he meets me, he'll say the same old thing. "How is your studies? My son is doing VERY well in university. Do you have a boyfriend? My son has a girlfriend". I feel irritated whenever I meet him. I just have to swallow every crap he says as I don't want to portray a lousy image that might humiliate dad.

I just don't get it. Why must some people make their (or other peoples') lives miserable by comparing? Does comparing make you feel any better? There's this girl who was in the same class with me for business studies during Form 6. As she was a bit slow in studies, she came to me almost everyday, telling me the same thing. "I wish I could be like you!" And because of that statement, she struggled like mad just to get half of my results. I'm not trying to brag or despise her. It's just so sad that she has this kind of mentality. It's good that she strives to succeed but it's not a good idea to compare to that extent. She told me no matter how, she has to win me.

It's true that the word compare is important in certain things. For instance, we need to compare the changes in a business to measure how much it has deviated from the original standards. We have to compare health reports to check how much a person's health has deteriorated. BUT, do you see the difference?? We are not only using that word for business, medical or other purposes. We are currently abusing that word. And I just hate it.

As you (we) grow older, it's rather useless to compare as certain things can NEVER be compared. For example:

• How many husbands/wives/kids do you have?? (You can't be bragging on these things, can you?
• How many certificates/degrees/masters/PhDs...do you have? (You could have all these qualifications and can go ahead and compare but that someone could be earning much more than you! How's that?)
• Is your sex life better than mine or how many times have you done it? (Do you know how to compare this? LOL)
• He/she is much handsome/prettier than you. So, you've been ditched for that reason! (Please define pretty/handsome. If someone loves you, he/she will accept you for who you are, even your flaws! So, there's no need to compare!)
• He/she owns a big NEW house and car. So, he/she is definitely richer than you! (That big new house and car belong to the bank. Don't believe me? Go ahead and ask him/her. Only fools would buy something new that's so expensive with 100% cash! Or else, the banks wouldn't have any business to do!)
• He/she wears branded clothes and undergarments. So, he/she should be richer. (What makes you think so? You think she's rich just because she bought the Triumph's latest seamless bra which costs about RM179.90?? OMG!!)
• Everyone knows him/her. So, he's/she's much more popular than you. (In that case, why don't you publish your self portrait in the local dailies and in the internet??? You'll be popular within seconds!)
• His/her blog has more comments/ has been viewed more times than yours. So, he/she is famous in the blogosphere. (Do you really compare that?? OMG!! What's the use of blogging with an anonymous identity if you go around telling everyone or anyone you meet about it?)
  

So, is there a need to compare?? You have your own way of living, and I have mine. We don't need to compare every single thing in life. It's ridiculous! The more you compare, the more dissatisfied you become. If you really want or need to compare, make sure you look at yourself in the mirror first. For goodness sake, grow up!